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How many of you have taken the risk (1 Viewer)

bumbo_hippo

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i didn't date him..
buh i told him i liked him...
he didn't seem to feel da same...now we talk bout it like a joke..
o welz...life goes on..
go find a random guy...not a guy friend!
 

repz

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i was just wondering im happily taken, i went out with a friend
but never a best friend lol dont really have a best female friend
just wodnering who wouldnt take the risk
 

cabanaboy21

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i hav done it befor... it didnt last but it ended on good enough terms that im still friends with them...
 

Cyph

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I find that most friendships with females have little substance to them and are largely based on flirting and are more annoying than anything... chances are if the chick's cool enough just to hang out with, you'd want more than that.
 

bubz :D

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my first boyfriend was a guy that i'd known since i was a kid, and we just kinda fell into it... to cut a long story short (im sure i've talked about this in another thread anyway), the break-up was terrible, we had a love-hate thing afterwards, but now it's four years on and we're still good friends.


second "boyfriend" was a really close friend, and i was completely oblivious to the fact that he liked me (it seems so obvious now, looking back), and when he finally told me and asked me out, i was really shocked. he said "either you say yes, and we go out, or you say no, and i can't see you again." he didn't mean it in a threat sort of way, but wtf?! so we "dated" for a month - if you can call it dating. it was exactly like being friends, except we held hands. i dont think we even kissed.

in the end it was a mutual break-up, and we didn't talk as much as we used to for a few weeks, then we went back to being normal and talked every night as usual... and then he just completely disappeared. he blocked me on msn, has ignored the birthday SMSes i've sent him each year... and i have no idea why. it's sad.


so after that, i was really reluctant to "take the risk"... but sometimes you just have to. sometimes i regret not going out with this guy that asked me out in yr11, i really really liked him but i didn't want to risk the friendship and get hurt all over again. we saw eachother a few weeks ago, and it was great - but i think we were both thinking what could've happened....

ahh well, life goes on :p
 

datAsianGuy

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bubz :D said:
my first boyfriend was a guy...
ahh well, life goes on :p
woah... buddy... thats like so the same as me right now. I don't know what to do aye??? its just... a blah... cept I was the guy on the other end... Like we were friends and stuff before (it gets really complicated cos I'm mates with her bro too... not good) any way, she kinda finally figured that i liked her and so she made an effort and stuff to find feelings and then it just disintegrated... it was like she didnt know what to do or anything... she was heaps like a little kid, cept worse, cos she had a 17yo body !!!!crazy!! anyway...nowe shes all like. "oh and I went to --- place today and we had so much fun and it was so good and I wish I was still there..." and "oh, thanks for inviting me but I cant come tonight" and all this crap and I feel like Im being way selfish.... I cant stand her raving on bout this other bloke though, that is fully driving me nuts!!!! someone help me or im gonna be AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHH on the net....
 

Keen

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chelzmalee said:
I've got some really close male friends... I went out with one of them, but it was expected. We broke up, and we're still really close, but we didn't really break up on a bad note. It was the whole long distance thing that fucked it up. I'd say it's worth a shot if you think you can still be friends afterwards... Sex changes everything.
Yeah, I had something similar too. One of the girls I've been closest with in my life (who I found out had liked me like 6 months before and had worked through those feelings) once I'd decided I liked her, it sort of ruined the friendship. Well if you can call it a friendship - what kind of friends cuddle up and hold hands?!?
But yeah now it's really bad as we don't really talk when we do see each other, the conversations die pretty quickly too.
And the really sad thing is that I just went and did it again (maybe with a bit of help from some beer). Although she was more a friend/aquintance, although it's strange that once you see them again you realise there's a bit of awkwardness.

I agree that sometimes you have to take the risk, but logically speaking you should never chase after friends, but guys seem to do it all the time (especially as girls can't ask guys out because of some stupid rule - it's up to the guys discretion which seems to be wrong much of the time).

And talking about it doesn't seem to help and it just seems to be the old 'time heals all wounds' story, but that doesn't seem to really work either - so if any of you guys have bright ideas, it's always a help.


Keen
 

bumbo_hippo

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yea life goes on..

someone i once called a friend...is a...stranger to me...
cuz of da close relationship we had...which hurt me like a fuken knife cuting me into bitz

o welz...now..im in search for something new...
something dat either kilz me..or..does no damage...
 

bumbo_hippo

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Komaticom said:
A friend of mine was asked out by a girl on his campus. Real robust rule...

Hm... all this is confusing me.
Chasing after friends = breakup.
Chasing after close friends = disaster.
Chasing after strangers/enemies = the way to go?
???

seemz dat way eh~ haha...
 

miaomiao

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I've tried. It's a dangerous risk and in my case the guy and I now have a very uncomfortable and crap relationship :/
I sometimes imagine what might have happened if it did work...it would have been totally awesome. Because you're friends you know you like one another's personalities and often share the same interests. You can talk for ages and ages and there is no 'getting to know them' bit in the realationship etc etc. But then when things fuck up... for example you fight or have awkward sex, it is shit. The friendship can never return to what it was. You lose a good friend.

I've come to beleive guys and girls can't be just friends especially when one or both of the parties are attractive/ likeable. All the guys i know think about sex all the time... they can't help it. And if they have 'a friend' whose a girl, whose attractive, they are always going to think about having sex with her even if they don't act on that thought. Personally I can't be just friends with people who think about having sex with me... The result is more often than not a friendship with sexual tension which will eventually reveal itself in the form of a random, drunken hook up at a party or a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship which will inevitably crash and burn.
But again, If it did miraculously work out that would be beautiful. *sigh*
 

bumbo_hippo

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miaomiao said:
I've tried. It's a dangerous risk and in my case the guy and I now have a very uncomfortable and crap relationship :/
I sometimes imagine what might have happened if it did work...it would have been totally awesome. Because you're friends you know you like one another's personalities and often share the same interests. You can talk for ages and ages and there is no 'getting to know them' bit in the realationship etc etc. But then when things fuck up... for example you fight or have awkward sex, it is shit. The friendship can never return to what it was. You lose a good friend.

I've come to beleive guys and girls can't be just friends especially when one or both of the parties are attractive/ likeable. All the guys i know think about sex all the time... they can't help it. And if they have 'a friend' whose a girl, whose attractive, they are always going to think about having sex with her even if they don't act on that thought. Personally I can't be just friends with people who think about having sex with me... The result is more often than not a friendship with sexual tension which will eventually reveal itself in the form of a random, drunken hook up at a party or a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship which will inevitably crash and burn.
But again, If it did miraculously work out that would be beautiful. *sigh*
yea i agree...
there is no...'friends' between guyz and gurlz...there is alwayz something a lil or alot more than jus..'friends'
 

pRiNCesS..!!

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dont be scared of having feelings beyond a juat strong friendship..your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesnt..if it doesnt work chances are you will stil be friends..thats if you REALLY were good friends in the first place!
 

pRiNCesS..!!

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PLUS a real good guy friend of mine......who i was once madly in love with,until i went out with him.......told me that guys always want more,even if its a really close girl thats a friend,thy wouldnt pass up sex with her..never!
but i guess he is also a nymphomaniac so..that may not be true in all cases!
 

tammer

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my best mate and i thought about it and came that close, but we're both glad we didn't. i guess we still wonder but i like things just the way they are!
 

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