It's HIS fault, NOT YOURS! (1 Viewer)

[Alimoe_KG]

I was just talking to my friend. She's going out with a friend of mine, who is occaisionally a dick. He's the type of guy who acts like he doesn't give a shit about her and just mostly ignores her when she comes to see him and we're there but on the inside, he's desperate not to lose her. My friend just told me she's thinking of breaking up with him because she thinks it's all her fault and that she's somehow a terrible person and that she's not good enough for him. Granted, some girls say that as an excuse to flick off the guy. But there are girls out there who seriously think like that. Why do some girls think they're fat, they're stupid and that it's something wrong with them and not with the guy who asks her what she's doing there when she goes to see him at school on Valentines Day. It's frustrating consoling girls like that =/

 

[iambored]

because they think the guy is perfect so there must be something wrong with them. they have low self esteem. they are blinded.

there was something on oprah about it. i think they try so hard to make the guy like them that when they don't (or they think they don't because the guy doesn't show it) then they get depressed. the guy could also call them demeaning things.

 

[jumb]

It's because he's acting a specific way to keep her attracted to him. Perhaps he went too far, but either way, it's not his fault that attraction works that way.

 

[Purp|e]

hmmm wah, alot of the time they do really become over-concerned with whack issues that they actually d believe to an extent... but then alot of the stuff mentioned is continually done by some girls so people ahh, dunno 're-assure' them of the fact that they are 'hot' or whatever, and make them feel good.

 

[malkin86]

It's a self-esteem thing - if you're unsure/worried about your relationships, everything else seems to get worse.

 

[chelzmalee]

Self esteem sucks.

get the pun?

But its cos most girls have low self esteem, and they think that cos a relationship doesn't work it's all their fault. And in alot of relationships girls get blamed for stuff that isn't their fault anyways....

 

[FadeToBlack]

no i don't get the pun.

 

[Alimoe_KG]

no i don't get the pun.

self-esteem implies optimism and confidence and so to put it next to "sucks" is just...i dunno....paradoxical?

Anyway, why do girls have low self-esteem? Surely it's not an inherent thing. Most girls i know would have dumped that guy long ago. It's just some girls. But do you have friends like that? It's people like this that drive cousellors into mental wards. "YOU'RE NOT FAT! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!"; ".............nooooo I'M FAT LOOK AT HER! *points I'M SO FAAAT I DON'T KNOW WHY HE WOULD LIKE ME! T^T I think you should just go find him a nice girl who can take care of him. I'm not good enough...."

*me falls dead in frustration

 

[Not-That-Bright]

Some girls actually are fat.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

self-esteem implies optimism and confidence and so to put it next to "sucks" is just...i dunno....paradoxical?

Anyway, why do girls have low self-esteem? Surely it's not an inherent thing. Most girls i know would have dumped that guy long ago. It's just some girls. But do you have friends like that? It's people like this that drive cousellors into mental wards. "YOU'RE NOT FAT! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!"; ".............nooooo I'M FAT LOOK AT HER! *points I'M SO FAAAT I DON'T KNOW WHY HE WOULD LIKE ME! T^T I think you should just go find him a nice girl who can take care of him. I'm not good enough...."

*me falls dead in frustration

do i know her?
she sounds like me
only my boyfriend isn't a dickhead

but anyway, do i know her?

 

[Alimoe_KG]

Not that bright, obviously some girls are fat...but she seriously isn't =). If a girl was fat...i would tell her she was fat.

And dreamerish, you should know her. But i shan't tell you. And as if you're like that.
Dreamerish: "I'm fat!"
Me: "You know that you're not fat and you know that you're skinny and turtleboy wants you and so you're only saying that you're fat so i can tell you about how beautiful you are and give you unnecessary but nevertheless desired compliments"
Dreamerish: "Very true, hehehehehehehe. Airness is stupid"
Me: T^T

 

[Dreamerish*~]

Not that bright, obviously some girls are fat...but she seriously isn't =). If a girl was fat...i would tell her she was fat.

And dreamerish, you should know her. But i shan't tell you. And as if you're like that.
Dreamerish: "I'm fat!"
Me: "You know that you're not fat and you know that you're skinny and turtleboy wants you and so you're only saying that you're fat so i can tell you about how beautiful you are and give you unnecessary but nevertheless desired compliments"
Dreamerish: "Very true, hehehehehehehe. I'm evil"

hey man
pm me. who is it???

 

[RingerINC]

I was just talking to my friend. She's going out with a friend of mine, who is occaisionally a dick. He's the type of guy who acts like he doesn't give a shit about her and just mostly ignores her when she comes to see him and we're there but on the inside, he's desperate not to lose her. My friend just told me she's thinking of breaking up with him because she thinks it's all her fault and that she's somehow a terrible person and that she's not good enough for him. Granted, some girls say that as an excuse to flick off the guy. But there are girls out there who seriously think like that. Why do some girls think they're fat, they're stupid and that it's something wrong with them and not with the guy who asks her what she's doing there when she goes to see him at school on Valentines Day. It's frustrating consoling girls like that =/

Well basically you just said there was something wrong with them, that they think there is something wrong with them.

 

[jumb]

If you know how to make use of a girls self low esteem, you can make her feel attraction towards you.

 

[withoutaface]

Girls are inherently fucked up.
Guys are perfect.
The sooner both sides realise this the better off we will all be.

 

[jumb]

self-esteem implies optimism and confidence and so to put it next to "sucks" is just...i dunno....paradoxical?

That pun sucks. Get it?

Girls are inherently fucked up.
Guys are perfect.
The sooner both sides realise this the better off we will all be.

We Wuv Waf!

 

[my sharona]

Girls are inherently fucked up.
Guys are perfect.
The sooner both sides realise this the better off we will all be.

Unfortunately, girls are generally better looking...

And back to the original question, buy her that book 'Hes just not that into you'. I haven't read it, but i heard it's full of that self-help-you're-better-than-him waffle.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

Girls are inherently fucked up.
Guys are perfect.
The sooner both sides realise this the better off we will all be.

he's trying to convince himself

women are of course better looking and sexier therefore they have the power

 

[Alimoe_KG]

Unfortunately, girls are generally better looking...

And back to the original question, buy her that book 'Hes just not that into you'. I haven't read it, but i heard it's full of that self-help-you're-better-than-him waffle.

But the thing is, he probably is into her. He just never shows it in public, which really humiliates her because she's always the one running after his nonchalant ass.

And dreamerish...you wish =)

 

[my sharona]

But the thing is, he probably is into her. He just never shows it in public, which really humiliates her because she's always the one running after his nonchalant ass.

He's just not >>>>THAT<<<< into you...

I'd say... dont get personally involved. You tell her that he's an alright guy, she thinks you're pressuring her to stay with him and the blames on you. You tell her that he's a dickhead and she should get over him, she thinks you're stealing her boyfriend.
It's really a lose-lose situation.

But whatever you do, dont let her ask for advice on BOS.
BOS is a place for further humiliation and pickups from desperates.