Long Distance (1 Viewer)

[SweetSeasons]

ok, so I've kind of been really depressed lately cause I hardly get to see my bf.
He thinks we live heaps far away but I don't think it's far at all, it's Bankstown to the lower blue mountains, it's like an hour and fifteen min drive. I do that every day to uni and then back....
He reckons that he only wants to see me one day a week and talk on the phone every 2nd day or so...
In an ideal world I'd wanna see him every day but I know that's not possible and I do love spending time with my friends as well, I reckon 2 days a week would be so much better then 1.. and he like stuck to his one day a week.. Which never god damn happens cause he's always got an excuse.

It's like fuck a part time boy friend, I love him and he claims to love me... I dont feel like it when he wont even make the fucking effort to come up here n visit me and so what if his car is fucked.. I don't have a car and I always manage to make it to his house on the tain without being murded.
Grah

so my question is, how often do you see your partner? How often would you like to?

 

[loquasagacious]

I hate to break it to you but he doesn't like you that much. I guess you already had a fair idea of that though.

Slightly more positively for whatever reason he isn't ready for a very serious relationship.

 

[super katie]

I see my boyfriend maybe three days a week? Its difficult because he works during the day and I work at night but Im generally free when he gets his days off so it works out alright. Honestly though, at this stage I couldnt handle seeing him every day, I need my own space and I hate those couples that are joined at the hip and cant do anything without each other. Being a couple shouldnt mean that you can no longer function as an individual.

However, one day a week shouldnt be difficult for him to see you, if he keeps jerking you around get rid of him. Has it always been like this? Only seeing each other one day a week?

 

[SweetSeasons]

See that's the thing, in the first two weeks he was way over the top and it scared me off and i broke it off with him, even though I liked him. But then I asked him to take me back and ever since then it's been like he's scared I'm gonna dump him again.

I've said to him yeah know, do you really wanna be with me and he's said if I didn't wanna be with you I would of broken up with you. He claims he see's me more then he ever did his old gf's and shit like that.

I dunno I'm sick of it, if things don't get better by the time uni starts up again I'm gonna break it off with him. I don't deserve to feel like this, I full cry after I'm off the phone to him, when he's said he can't make it around again.

 

[mr_brightside]

Well if he is making no effort to see you...
Id tell him!
Tell him whats bothering you.

I see my gf a few times a week..
We only live about 15 mins by car
and 45 by public transport
One of us usually meets the other...
Im the one goin today
*checks bus times*

 

[SweetSeasons]

I did, just before...

I said I need to know how much he likes me and I think he was scared I was gonna dump him and he's like why and I said because I need to know, then he told me I was being stupid, I should know how much he loves me already.
Then he asked why do I think he doesn't love me, and he's like is because I don't see you all the time. I said no it's because you don't want to see me all the time.
He said it's not his fault, if he got the opportunity too he would...
I said sorry, that I'm just scared of getting hurt cause I like him so much.
He said it's ok, n that he loves me n then he had to go...again.

maybe I'm just PMSing

 

[SweetSeasons]

when I'm with him I'm so happy, I love him

 

[colonial1770]

If you dumped him before maybe he is just being cautious, maybe he does not want to have to invest too much time and money if there is no practical outcome (i.e a long term potential for the relationship). There is usually simple logic to mens actions. And I think you are overthinking it.

 

[SweetSeasons]

yeah, he has said that b4.. but that was like 2 months ago.
I really love him, I've done everything i can possibly think of to show him I'm here for the long hall...

I spoke to his best mate yesterday, and he said I just gotta trust him, cause he loves me and yeah to stop being so insecure.. so yeah

 

[Skittled]

Been listening to next year's psychology courses these holidays, and they're talking about this sorta thing.

A large proportion of people who get into relationships live pretty close to each other. That's not to say that long-distance relationships don't work, but they're more difficult: it's not "natural" -- humans want contact, want touch, want to be THERE. For the millions of caveman years when modern-day humans were evolving to what we are today, there were no telephones or internet to facilitate long-distance relationships...

Further, looking at the basic sex-differences in approaches to relationships, guys (predictably, but for various interesting reasons) would like quite a few more partners than girls do, however at some point they "click" (endquote the lecturer) and decide that they're better off to invest in just one (or, a few that they can adequately support, but in western society, legally and "ethically", one) partner.

I bring this up because I don't know which side of the "click" he's on. Do take his best friend's advice, but also keep in mind that people's conception of "love" are different, too. From an outsider's point of view, you live a distance apart, and he keeps making excuses... In my opinion, distance can be overcome, and shouldn't be a reason for ending the relationship (end a relationship because there are problems with the relationship: they don't value you, or you don't love htem, or whatever, but not becuase you love each other but live X hours apart), but having distance in one relationship seems to make other relationships with people closer to home appear that much more attractive....

...not so much advice, just food for thought. You'll have to excuse me if it's a total waste of time as a result!

 

[withoutaface]

My girlfriend lives about 2 hours from me by public transport (yeah fuck you Bob Carr, we need a train station) and I manage to see her twice a week.

 

[shortie_689]

my boyfriend lives an hour to a hour an a half drive away from me it will be better when the M7 opens but he has lost his licence... we get to see eachother about twice a week... we are resigned to the fact that until may next year we wont see each other as much as we would like to but we are just make do till we can... if u really love him u just have to deal with the situation an make do with how often u get to see him

 

[SweetSeasons]

Been listening to next year's psychology courses these holidays, and they're talking about this sorta thing.

A large proportion of people who get into relationships live pretty close to each other. That's not to say that long-distance relationships don't work, but they're more difficult: it's not "natural" -- humans want contact, want touch, want to be THERE. For the millions of caveman years when modern-day humans were evolving to what we are today, there were no telephones or internet to facilitate long-distance relationships...

Further, looking at the basic sex-differences in approaches to relationships, guys (predictably, but for various interesting reasons) would like quite a few more partners than girls do, however at some point they "click" (endquote the lecturer) and decide that they're better off to invest in just one (or, a few that they can adequately support, but in western society, legally and "ethically", one) partner.

I bring this up because I don't know which side of the "click" he's on. Do take his best friend's advice, but also keep in mind that people's conception of "love" are different, too. From an outsider's point of view, you live a distance apart, and he keeps making excuses... In my opinion, distance can be overcome, and shouldn't be a reason for ending the relationship (end a relationship because there are problems with the relationship: they don't value you, or you don't love htem, or whatever, but not becuase you love each other but live X hours apart), but having distance in one relationship seems to make other relationships with people closer to home appear that much more attractive....

...not so much advice, just food for thought. You'll have to excuse me if it's a total waste of time as a result!

Yeah.. I dunno I wouldn't dump him cause he lives far away, I knew he lived far away when I started seeing him, knew what I was getting my self into... But i thought I'd be able to see him at least twice a week. It's more the he doesn't make the effort is why I would break it off with him.. cause I feel unloved, not cause he lived far away. Do you get me?

I dunno, I do love him.. it's prolly just PMS making me all emotional about it

 

[santaslayer]

Once a week during uni.
About twice during the holidays.
Sometimes I might hang out with her friends and vice versa..
Just bumming around is cool but seeing each other too often isn't practical.

Live about 35 mins apart by car?

 

[Frigid]

Live about 35 mins apart by car?

LOL santa that's not long distance... unless you're driving 300km+/h straight down a freeway.

 

[Ilija]

I live about two hours away from my gf, we manage 2-3 times a fortnight, but we talk all the time either phone or net.

 

[imsooverskool]

Whoever is contemplating a long distance relationship dont do it, run, run away, run for your life (well at least your emotional well being). Seriously, they are more trouble than they are worth from my experience

 

[mYstiKaL_rOse]

my husband lives in another country, on the other side of the world, literally! we haven't seen each other in over 9 months, our anniversary is nxt month. so whoever says long distance is not worth it, is worng. the effort is worth it if u really like the person, but remember commitment is a two way street, you're supposed to compromise and meet halfway!
me and my husband, are extremely close, obviously in love, 100%committed and we both work hard to keep it together.
so if he isn't meeting you halfway, you should really sit down and think, where is this relationship is going?, is it worth it?, is there hope?
you just gotta get really serious and talk to him and ask him what he wants, and if he says he is committed to you, then really, you have to trust him and support him and just be there for him. but if he is hesitant, check the signs and ask yourself, is this what u want?

 

[ygyf]

"Which never god damn happens cause he's always got an excuse"

sounds lyk u really tired of his excuses, if u r, then dnt stick wif him anymore

 

[KeypadSDM]

It's like fuck a part time boy friend

That sounds hot.