LOOK OUT: The FAMILY GUY Quote Thread (1 Viewer)

[bazookajoe]

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
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Guy 1: Hey, you want a piece of gum?
Guy 2: Oh, thanks.
Guy 1: Ha ha! That was joke gum.
Guy 2: What do you mean?
Guy 1: Now you're addicted to heroin. [laughs]
Guy 2: [laughs then shivers] I'm cold.
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Man: Wow, Lois Griffin. Hey I love your act! Nice melons.
Peter: Hey listen pal!
Lois: Peter, I'm holding melons.
Peter: Oh.
Man: And her hooters ain't bad either.
Peter: Now hang on a second there.
Lois: Peter, I'm holding hooters! (she is holding owls)
Peter: Oh, sorry.
Man: No problem... Your wife's hot.
Peter: Alright that's it!
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Peter:"Whoa, this is so intense... it's almost like the time I forgot how to sit down."
[see peter staring at a couch, then dives into it]

 

[cappen]

Best Thread Evvvvvv

 

[50Cent]

Captain James T Kirk: the members of the away team are Scotty, Spock Myself and Ensign Ricky
Ricky: Ah crap!

(rough quote but you get the idea)
***
Stewie: You get me the wallStreet Journal, you two, fight to the death
***
Stewie: Its every potential man for himself
***
Stewie: Damn you to the bowels of bloody hell
***
Lois: But did you have to get cris those breast implants?
Peter: whatever makes the boy happy
***
Man in White:What do you want?
Stewie: freedom what do you want?
Man in White: i wanta get the hell out of here
Stewie: im sorry were all out of that all we have left is untimely death
Man in White: what is this?
Stewie: Its a boy
sound effect: ZAP CRACKLE
***
Stewie: Damn you, damn the brocolli and damn the wright brothers
***
Peter: Wait i have a good excuse
Brian: ooh wait i loove these
***
scene: Stewies mouth
Incisor: I claim this mouth in the name of incisor, aah bicuspit we meet again
.....the teeth move trying to attack each other
Bicuspit: well shall we bite the tongue then
incisor: On three
Both: one, two
Stewie: aargh
***

sorry about the roughness of the quotes but may fave episode is when Lois learns martial arts and they have that huge brawl

Nice season 4 stuff there. love that shiznit.

 

[Shell]

lois: Chris thats a terrible word! Boobies.

 

[Grizzly]

rough quote :

----
Peter : *hands lios a present*
Lios : Omg peter, its a human finger!...wher'd you get that ?!
Peter : *With one hand under his shoulder, covering his chopped finger thats bleeding* Errr, ebay!
---

haha

yeah, season 4 eps are pretty good. up to ep5 now

 

[SashatheMan]

lois: Chris thats a terrible word! Boobies.

i dont get why thats funny. i seen the episode.

 

[bazookajoe]

Woman: How's your oatmeal honey?
Man: Actually it tastes kind of funny...OH MY GOD THERE'S A BEAR IN MY OATMEAL!

 

[SashatheMan]

Mayor Adam West: How do you know my language?

lol , adam west is a great character. why did they choose old batman though? is he really that crazy?

 

[nerd2die7]

The most awesome episode of my life: the one where Joe enters the special olympics and there's that dude in one of those electrical wheelchairs that talk for him. Yes there is a name, and I don't know it. HILARIOUS.

Yes, you suck. I rule. Who da man, who da man, who da man.

 

[nerd2die7]

lois: Chris thats a terrible word! Boobies.

Hahaha and, "That's a terrible word, nipple."

 

[ariande]

Stewie - you know i rather like this god fellow... hes so.. theatrical you know. a bit of pestulance here and plague there... omnipotence! got to get me some of THAT!

(peter is looking for toilet training books... he has just said that hes catholic)
Man in shop: well you want the 'your a naughty child and thats concentrated evil coming out the back of you'.

hahaha oh dear... so amusing

 

[Samie_Loo]

Peter: You know for a large heavy-set black guy, Cleveland's got a cute little white ass.
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Guy on Airplane: "Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby."
Stewie: "What did you just say?"
Lois: "Stewie, stop fussing."
Stewie: "Pipe down Lois." (Slaps guy on head) "Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, your my bitch."
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Peter: I don't say this often enough, but, uh, I'm gonna die.
Lois: Oh my God.
Stewie: High five! Anyone? Anyone?
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Stewie: Ok, ok. I've got it, I've got it. If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer. You'd need an egg calender. Ah ha ha ha. Oh, that's right. I went there.
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AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA
so random
so hilarious

 

[acmilan]

Tom Tucker: "And now here's Ali Williams with our blackie weather report. Ali?"
Black guy: "It's gon rain!"
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Brian: "The VCR hasn't worked since you tried to tape Monday Night Football."
[Flashback to Peter, watching MNF, pressing record button on VCR. FBI immediately slams through the door]
Agent: "Do you have the express written consent of ABC Sports and the National Football League?"
Peter [holds up paper]: "Just ABC."
[Agents cock pistols and shotguns, fire at VCR]
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Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
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Quagmire: (Running through mall and accidentally into the camera room)-Where am I, am I dead?
Security Gaurd:No, this is where we monitor all the dressing rooms in the mall so we can keep an eye out for shoplifters.
(Woman on Monitor has heart attack)
Quagmire: Oh my god! That one's having a heart attack(Runs to womans dressing room)
Quagmire: (Rubs womans chest and breaths in her mouth)
(Woman Becomes concious)
Woman#2:That was amazing.
Woman#3:You saved her life.
Woman#4:Thank god you know CPR.
Quagmire:What the hell is CPR?
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Peter: I told Lois I wouldn't drink
Quagmire: Don't feel so bad Peter
Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way.
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Quagmire: "Hey there little lady. Why don't you turn around and show me your Lower East Side."
Woman (man voice) : "Sure."
Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off! Wait a minute...pre-op or post-op?"
Woman: "Pre-op."
Quagmire: "Whoa, transvestite, back off!"

 

[GlobalOperation]

i dont know if anyone has seen it b4 but i downloaded the family guy movie the other day.
it never came out here just in america.

ita all about stewie and its the funniest thing in the world.

Stewie is drunk,

stewie: so brian i.. wat
brian: i didnt say anything
stewie: oh i thought.. oh i thought you interupteds me. dont ... dont interupt me
brian: are you ok?
stewie: im as ok as your face?


later on then they leave the table

brian: your drunk
stewie: ur sexy



anyway its the best movie i have ever seen.

 

[gosh]

this is the episode with kiss in it.

Lois Griffin: Why is everybody glaring at us?
Peter Griffin: Why, Lois? I'll tell you why.
Peter Griffin: Your faux pas last night at the concert was so upsetting I called a university professor to tell me what phrase to use to describe it.
<see peter calling up a professor>
Professor: Use "faux pas."
Peter Griffin: Thanks, professor.

 

[Shell]

"and i'll just put this bush here. And if you tell anyone, that this bush is here, i will come to your house and i will cut you!"