Losing weight to get a bf/gf (1 Viewer)
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RabbitRabbit
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I think exercising to loose weight is a good idea since you sound a little insecure about what people are thinking about your body. But getting your ex back sounds like a rather stupid reason to go about all this work. If you are to actually loose any weight, you should aim to get a better boyfriend that appreciates you for you, and then you can rub it in your ex's face like a jelly donut
crazyhomo
under pressure
so when you said "serious guys think models look ugly anyway", what you really meant was "some guys find certain models attractive, while some other guys don't find those same models attractive and i don't know wtf 'serious' means"sparkl3z said:
you're a genius
a lot of women in this thread seem to be saying 'your right guy will like you for who you are'. Ask yourself this, if someone you find unattractive comes up to you, will you like them, even if they have a great personality? I would guess: no. They'd instead be a friend.
It is purely instinctual to go out with people we find attractive.
I don't see a problem with losing weight to find a bf/gf, as long as you do it healthily (i.e. exercise, healthy eating and not throwing up).
It is purely instinctual to go out with people we find attractive.
I don't see a problem with losing weight to find a bf/gf, as long as you do it healthily (i.e. exercise, healthy eating and not throwing up).
withoutaface
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Finding and trying to win back are completely different things though.
loquasagacious
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My position seems to agree with most seen here so far, but here it is anyway.
*100kg on a 5'9 frame is fat and is unhealthy. Thus you should loose weight for your own health.
*Clearly this is hurting your self-confidence/self-worth. Thus you should loose weight to feel good about who you are.
*Physical attractiveness is an important part of whether people want to have relationships with other people and the tendency is for relationships to form between similarly attractive people. Thus if you want to date (date as opposed to fuck, the later just requires more availability) more attractive men then you must be more attractive loosing weight will go a long way to doing this.
Ok so we've established that you should loose weight now here are the caveats:
*Loosing it to win back an ex will fail and is a bad motivation.
*Trying to loose it too quickly will be bad for you (especially once you pass the initial period of easy loss).
*DONT become anorexic or bulemic.
*DONT loose motivation because you fail to loose a kilo a day for a month and transform yourself into the hottest girl at school in a month. These things take time and effort.
And now some practical advice on loosing the weight:
You must eat healthily and exercise.
You will likely need to eat less and exercise more.
As far as diet you should:
Eat: lean meat, chicken, eggs, etc. Minimise the ammount of frying. Avoid refined sugars (eg fruit good candy bad). Go for higher fibre carbs eg brown not white rice and bread. Eats lots of vegetables.
If you live at home this may mean cooking your own meals to avoid your parents unhealthy cooking or persuading them to eat healthier.
As far as exercise you should:
Do lots of cardio, especially; riding, rowing and swimming.
Where ever possible substitute walking/riding for driving/etc.
Do some bodyweight exercises (crunches, pushups, tricep dips, hyperextensions).
Do some weights; free weights and compound movements (squat, deadlift, bench press, chin-ups).
Take up a martial art; loose weight, build flexibility, gain confidence and defend yourself.
Joining a gym would be a good idea.
*100kg on a 5'9 frame is fat and is unhealthy. Thus you should loose weight for your own health.
*Clearly this is hurting your self-confidence/self-worth. Thus you should loose weight to feel good about who you are.
*Physical attractiveness is an important part of whether people want to have relationships with other people and the tendency is for relationships to form between similarly attractive people. Thus if you want to date (date as opposed to fuck, the later just requires more availability) more attractive men then you must be more attractive loosing weight will go a long way to doing this.
Ok so we've established that you should loose weight now here are the caveats:
*Loosing it to win back an ex will fail and is a bad motivation.
*Trying to loose it too quickly will be bad for you (especially once you pass the initial period of easy loss).
*DONT become anorexic or bulemic.
*DONT loose motivation because you fail to loose a kilo a day for a month and transform yourself into the hottest girl at school in a month. These things take time and effort.
And now some practical advice on loosing the weight:
You must eat healthily and exercise.
You will likely need to eat less and exercise more.
As far as diet you should:
Eat: lean meat, chicken, eggs, etc. Minimise the ammount of frying. Avoid refined sugars (eg fruit good candy bad). Go for higher fibre carbs eg brown not white rice and bread. Eats lots of vegetables.
If you live at home this may mean cooking your own meals to avoid your parents unhealthy cooking or persuading them to eat healthier.
As far as exercise you should:
Do lots of cardio, especially; riding, rowing and swimming.
Where ever possible substitute walking/riding for driving/etc.
Do some bodyweight exercises (crunches, pushups, tricep dips, hyperextensions).
Do some weights; free weights and compound movements (squat, deadlift, bench press, chin-ups).
Take up a martial art; loose weight, build flexibility, gain confidence and defend yourself.
Joining a gym would be a good idea.
SweetSeasons
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lol, yeah I've lost 20kg when i was like 14 n I kept it off... n I've recently lost 10kg more since chrissy... I just wanna be 65-75kg. which is the hlth weight range or something like that for my height.
I dunno.. I know I prolly wont get him back and part of me doesn't really want him back, but a part of me wants him to see me and just go damn she's fine.
I want guys too look at me and go damn she's fine.
I know being over weight is unattractive... I just I dunno..
I feel like the only thing I can find to motivate me to lose weight is the fact it'll get me a nice lookin boyfriend, and like I will be able to find a nice guy because there will be more guys who show interest. Do u girls get me? No matter how nice a guy is he's gonna go for what attracts him, if I'm attractive to I dunno more guys then I'm gonna have more guys to chose from...
I dunno.. I know I prolly wont get him back and part of me doesn't really want him back, but a part of me wants him to see me and just go damn she's fine.
I want guys too look at me and go damn she's fine.
I know being over weight is unattractive... I just I dunno..
I feel like the only thing I can find to motivate me to lose weight is the fact it'll get me a nice lookin boyfriend, and like I will be able to find a nice guy because there will be more guys who show interest. Do u girls get me? No matter how nice a guy is he's gonna go for what attracts him, if I'm attractive to I dunno more guys then I'm gonna have more guys to chose from...
loquasagacious
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I beg to differ.
I would suggest it is quite easy to become afflicted by insecurities, etc. To become influenced by an idea that not eating or throwing up is a great way to loose weight. Finally to become somebody who doesn't eat or regularly induces vommiting.
In a purely physical sense I could become an anorexic or bulemic today.
More importantly that line was inserted to suggest that sweetseasons/brogan should not become depressed and that there are healthy ways to loose weight etc.
And finally no I dont really care if you were once bulemic/anorexic spare me, unless of course you would like a pithy little vitriolic analysis of yourself.
I would suggest it is quite easy to become afflicted by insecurities, etc. To become influenced by an idea that not eating or throwing up is a great way to loose weight. Finally to become somebody who doesn't eat or regularly induces vommiting.
In a purely physical sense I could become an anorexic or bulemic today.
More importantly that line was inserted to suggest that sweetseasons/brogan should not become depressed and that there are healthy ways to loose weight etc.
And finally no I dont really care if you were once bulemic/anorexic spare me, unless of course you would like a pithy little vitriolic analysis of yourself.
i know, the question was what do GUYS think about this but i'd like to have a say too, if i may. I know a few people who do this and i think its incredibly stupid. Guys are not as shallow as you think they are and i'm sure a golden personality will win over a skeletal figure.SweetSeasons said:
Losing weight for health reasons eg: diabetes, high cholesterol is acceptable for obvious reasons.
loquasagacious
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Guys like girls that are in between, not skeletal OR fat.
Yes we are that shallow, if we're going out with a fatty it is because we are ugly/fat/undesirable ourselves and/or have low self esteem etc.
If you have a golden personality but we're not attracted to you then you will be a friend not a partner/etc thats the way of the world. We arnt going to suddenly see you as being several dress sizes smaller/cup sizes larger/etc because you have a great personality (we might if we were drunk though).
So I think its high time you grew up, looks matter end of story. Its not shallowness its just how it is.
Yes we are that shallow, if we're going out with a fatty it is because we are ugly/fat/undesirable ourselves and/or have low self esteem etc.
If you have a golden personality but we're not attracted to you then you will be a friend not a partner/etc thats the way of the world. We arnt going to suddenly see you as being several dress sizes smaller/cup sizes larger/etc because you have a great personality (we might if we were drunk though).
So I think its high time you grew up, looks matter end of story. Its not shallowness its just how it is.
You're stupid to want your old boyfriend back if he only got rid of you because you're fat. He's obviously not worth it if he's like that. He sounds like a really shallow guy. It's good that you're kinda doing it for yourself instead, so that you will be healthy and stuff.SweetSeasons said:
[Anyway, insert a lot of healthy weight loss encouragement here]
Smart guy.Pace_T said:
I have thought that if I want a really hot athletic guy, I should develop some sort of athleticism and adopt a healthier lifestyle. There's no chance I'd ever be able to take up basketball though (that's just pushing it too far). Soccer, yes. God I love soccer.
kaitie
the evenstar
losing weight to get a bf/ gf should more be..lose weight to be healthy and happy..because potential partners aren't gunna want to date someone who whinges about the way they look and who is really sad or moody, and generally not pleasant to be around..if losing weight is what it takes to get you up and active and happy and bring out ur personality..go for it..(then again u can be podgy and have an awesome personality..)
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that's been my issue is that when i was larger..i would whinge, whine and go.."god im ugly..im so fat..that chick is so much hotter than me that's not fair" which i still do..but now internally..(at least trying to) cos its not a turn on for ne-one..gotta have confidence
u said u wanna lose weight to get ur old bf back.. i agree with tres bien>> if he dumped u for being fat..he's an a-hole and u should go out there with ur new found hotness and attractiveness and go for it.
if the guys decent..he won't care that ur a little rounder than the average stick. u gotta have booty
hope everything goes well for you
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that's been my issue is that when i was larger..i would whinge, whine and go.."god im ugly..im so fat..that chick is so much hotter than me that's not fair" which i still do..but now internally..(at least trying to) cos its not a turn on for ne-one..gotta have confidence
u said u wanna lose weight to get ur old bf back.. i agree with tres bien>> if he dumped u for being fat..he's an a-hole and u should go out there with ur new found hotness and attractiveness and go for it.
if the guys decent..he won't care that ur a little rounder than the average stick. u gotta have booty
hope everything goes well for you
bogen
New Member
i think it's important to try and maintain ones aperence if not for the opposite sex then for yourself, im not saying put a full face of make up on everymorning all im saying is try and have a little dignity about you, guys tend to go for that.
for us guys it's much similer, wash your hair regularly and use deoderant.
quite simple really
for us guys it's much similer, wash your hair regularly and use deoderant.
quite simple really
SweetSeasons
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nah he didn't dump me cause i'm fat.. i just always felt when i was with him that he deserved better. I never said it 2 him, i seriously am a really out going person, no one that knows me would even take a second guess that I was unhappy with the way i look... but when it comes to like sex n stuff espeshially, I was always with held abit because I felt unsexy.
nah i don't wanna be a skeleton, I think sexy is having lol tits and ass and a bit of a curve on ur belly...
nah i don't wanna be a skeleton, I think sexy is having lol tits and ass and a bit of a curve on ur belly...
flipsyde
Shutup!...that's why
Hey Angie hun, nice to hear from you again....SweetSeasons said:
Anyway I think that its silly for someone to lose weight to get a bf/gf because people should like you for who you are. I know that I'm a little overweight, but by bf likes me for who I am. I'm losing the weight because I want to and not because my bf will like it/be more attracted to me. Its just something that I want to do for me.
I guess yeah sure its fine to want to lose weight to make YOU feel better, but certainly wouldnt do it to impress someone else. If someone was like "please lose the weight for me" and I was increadibly overweight and they were saying it to be kind/cos they care about me then I would.