Love & Relationships: The most important advice (1 Viewer)

[waitingforwhat]

You continue to search for advice in all areas of love and relationship, not letting the true meaning of love itself take its part. The only advice I have to offer you is no advice. Let love take you its own way, and no matter how corny this sounds, its the unnexpectedness that we all want. Spontaneous relationships blossoming from a time when we had not planned for them to occur, yet knowing that now we're in one that there is no regret.
Forget advice. Its from other people, not from yourself, and therefore any advice that you take is not acting in your true spirit. The game of love involves the challenge, and without the challenge, what is there?
The best thing about falling in love with someone is not knowing what will happen next. That feeling of nervous excitement when you are around them. That unnexpected, yet unforgettable kiss. The hours of conversation where time is lost in words of truth. These things are the best things, and these things are what love will offer, if you let it control you, rather than the other way around.
My advice is, go into the situation unprepared and without expectation. That way, you will walk away without regret. Afterall, how can we be dissapointed with something when we expected nothing in the first place. By no means am I saying not to be dissapointed when someone we admire returns none of what we are sending to them, but accept that they are not interested, and that there are others, and you will find your other.
Take from this whatever you wish, but approach this advice to not be advised with an open mind, and remember, nobody ever fails in the game of love.

 

[hbk_ace]

no one listen to my advice on relaionships cos im a complete loser, i dont know wat im talkin about and if u follow wat i say u will get no where in ure love life

 

[ur_inner_child]

You continue to search for advice in all areas of love and relationship, not letting the true meaning of love itself take its part. The only advice I have to offer you is no advice. Let love take you its own way, and no matter how corny this sounds, its the unnexpectedness that we all want. Spontaneous relationships blossoming from a time when we had not planned for them to occur, yet knowing that now we're in one that there is no regret.
Forget advice. Its from other people, not from yourself, and therefore any advice that you take is not acting in your true spirit. The game of love involves the challenge, and without the challenge, what is there?
The best thing about falling in love with someone is not knowing what will happen next. That feeling of nervous excitement when you are around them. That unnexpected, yet unforgettable kiss. The hours of conversation where time is lost in words of truth. These things are the best things, and these things are what love will offer, if you let it control you, rather than the other way around.
My advice is, go into the situation unprepared and without expectation. That way, you will walk away without regret. Afterall, how can we be dissapointed with something when we expected nothing in the first place. By no means am I saying not to be dissapointed when someone we admire returns none of what we are sending to them, but accept that they are not interested, and that there are others, and you will find your other.
Take from this whatever you wish, but approach this advice to not be advised with an open mind, and remember, nobody ever fails in the game of love.

It's a little hard NOT to ask advice don't you reckon? I mean, aspects of love are constructed through what you see in movies, television, and even as simple as valentines cards.

You have an idea of love constructed in your head, by society... and sometimes when it doesn't go as rosey as the world makes it out to be, you'll feel completely alone, thinking that "love" for you was somehow different (in a way). It's good to talk. It just shows that love never ran smooth. I agree with what you said, but I've got to say that advice, and communication about each other's experiences is a very valuable thing.

 

[hbk_ace]

It's a little hard NOT to ask advice don't you reckon? I mean, aspects of love are constructed through what you see in movies, television, and even as simple as valentines cards.

You have an idea of love constructed in your head, by society... and sometimes when it doesn't go as rosey as the world makes it out to be, you'll feel completely alone, thinking that "love" for you was somehow different (in a way). It's good to talk. It just shows that love never ran smooth. I agree with what you said, but I've got to say that advice, and communication about each other's experiences is a very valuable thing.

wanna be my tutor haha, so complicated

 

[ur_inner_child]

wanna be my tutor haha, so complicated

was it? Hahaha sure! I need a job!!! lol jks.

Basically... you start off thinking that love is as perfect as the love in hollywood. Then you realize it's not. Talking to other people reassures you that the love depicted in hollywood is a total lie So it's a good thing!

 

[waitingforwhat]

Inner child,
By no means do i mean communication is bad. Relationships fail without communication between each other and with others. What my message was supposed to suggest is that taking advice is not always being yourself. Sure you can take advice from a person if you ask them whether you should go for a girl, but specific advice, such as what to say to them, how to treat them, where to take them, is advice best given to yourself by yourself. That way, you know that you have achieved because you acted in your actions, and that things will most likely last longer, as you are being yourself, and will not change in 3 weeks time.

 

[gemita]

Wow, your impressions of "love" are very cliched...
Don't you think it's unrealistic to think you can just 'let go and feel the love, man'? I get what you're saying with the whole letting the relationship run it's course naturally, without expectations, but eventually every relationship is going to come into some sort of conflict. You have to actually be constructive and active in a relationship to keep it working, you can't just lie back and expect 'love' to solve everything. People are entitled to advice, and often it's the most healthy thing you can do, bringing in a fresh perspective that isn't as tied up in it as you are. It can make things less subjective.

Sorry if I'm misinterpreting you, but I felt like your post was kind of condescending, "I am the guru, you people are all so lost, listen to me reveal the truths of love based on my extensive experience". By all means let me know if I'm totally on the wrong track, but to me that's how it came across.

 

[ur_inner_child]

Wow, your impressions of "love" are very cliched...
Don't you think it's unrealistic to think you can just 'let go and feel the love, man'? I get what you're saying with the whole letting the relationship run it's course naturally, without expectations, but eventually every relationship is going to come into some sort of conflict. You have to actually be constructive and active in a relationship to keep it working, you can't just lie back and expect 'love' to solve everything. People are entitled to advice, and often it's the most healthy thing you can do, bringing in a fresh perspective that isn't as tied up in it as you are. It can make things less subjective.

Sorry if I'm misinterpreting you, but I felt like your post was kind of condescending, "I am the guru, you people are all so lost, listen to me reveal the truths of love based on my extensive experience". By all means let me know if I'm totally on the wrong track, but to me that's how it came across.

Exactly my point! Thanx gemita, this is like the millionth time we've seen things from the same angle! I'd rep you if it lets me!

 

[gemita]

Yeah, I'm not allowed to rep you anymore either!!! Lol, ah well, great minds think alike.

 

[hbk_ace]

im only kidding, i dont think i believe in love, not right now anyway

but its just how everyone always make "LOVE" so complicatd, through movies and music, everything is about the L word

love in my view is just the longing to know that u exist in the world, ie through some one else who cares for ure existence,

then there is love for someone else, that is u care for their existence.

LOL u can tell im into the love thing right now

 

[ur_inner_child]

Inner child,
By no means do i mean communication is bad. Relationships fail without communication between each other and with others. What my message was supposed to suggest is that taking advice is not always being yourself. Sure you can take advice from a person if you ask them whether you should go for a girl, but specific advice, such as what to say to them, how to treat them, where to take them, is advice best given to yourself by yourself. That way, you know that you have achieved because you acted in your actions, and that things will most likely last longer, as you are being yourself, and will not change in 3 weeks time.

By taking an idea off someone else (for example going to the Botanic Gardens) doesn't make you less of the person that you are. They way you'll treat them will inevitably be yourself. Some people just need an idea in your head and they do the rest themselves. I doubt that anyone who took my idea of bra shopping will ask me for a script as well. They'll act themselves in their very actions

 

[neo o]

I advise you to keep posting.

 

[Dougie]

yeah, not many threads with this much reading... it's good for a change!

 

[waitingforwhat]

I apologise if my original message appeared as though stated by a guru-wannabe. The fact of the matter is, relationships are bloody complicated, and the moment we try and complicate them further, we lose them.
I do not think advice useless by any means, otherwise i wouldn't be posting on here. Frankly, i cant really express my opinion for everyone to be able to understand. But those that have been able to understand my point of view know exactly the results i speak of.

Let me say this. Having read the initial comment, either agree or choose not to. Those that do not agree have been unable to understand, or have experienced something else. I apologise for any fuzziness in my text, but english finished on wednesday and now i dunna have to spoke propper.

 

[spooky's.gal]

im confused, in the first post u say 'the only advice i give is to take no advice', but we are supposed to take that as advice? aaaggghhhh!
its like saying 'no means yes, and yes means no. but yes also means yes and no also means no.'
what the fck???
the advice i give is to not post that metaphorical stuff in the middle of the HSC!
many brains will not understand or comprehend this stuff! i get what your saying, but it makes no sense!
great, now i sound crazy too.....oh well.

 

[alby]

when i read this post, this bit stood out the most:

The best thing about falling in love with someone is not knowing what will happen next. That feeling of nervous excitement when you are around them. That unnexpected, yet unforgettable kiss. The hours of conversation where time is lost in words of truth. These things are the best things, and these things are what love will offer, if you let it control you, rather than the other way around.
My advice is, go into the situation unprepared and without expectation...how can we be dissapointed with something when we expected nothing in the first place

as for inner child & gem, i understand where you are comming from...im pretty sure he understands that sharing experiences allows others to see things from a different perspective (lol that sounds like it belongs in a english essay..bloody hell)
but i think he means that you shouldnt prepare every last detail, or ask what every single word said by the significant other means (referring to some threads i've seen around....no offence to the people that posted/replied to them though)

 

[jumb]

You continue to search for advice...

Oh God, you've been watching too many romance movies.

You cant just drift through life and expect love to blossom. You have to take control and seize the moment. Unlike the audience your post is targetting, most people arent sexy enough to have the opposite sex running to try and fall in love with them, or atleast, noone that they will find desirable.

You're post has little merit with the whole topic being some wishy-washy theme brought up in every teenage love movie. The only valid point is being to relax in all situations. Tension is a turn off.

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

i reckon the nervousness is the best part about love, actually making a move on someone you're heaps nervous about... it's the best lol

 

[gemita]

I just think you have to be realistic...yeah, the butterflies and the nervousness and the "Unforgettable kiss" are incredible. But that doesn't last forever. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and while I love him to bits, I don't get the same "oh. my. god. He's holding my hand!" feeling anymore. That's not to say our relationship has faded, but it's just gone to a new level and we can't always be surprised by each other anymore. I think the "no advice is the best advice" is all very well and good for the first stage of a relationship, but as things evolve you have to actually take a constructive part in making the relationship what it is. All the drifting in the blossoming of love just gives me the impression that you're getting this from a bad mills and boon. (Wait...all mills and boon are bad. Anyway.)

 

[ur_inner_child]

I personally think this conversation started off extreme - asking for advice is great. Making independent decisions is great. I think we all agree on that.

Just that, in this day and age where there is SO much sex on the media and in awkward times of the day (as in the stupid mobile accessory ads that sell an orgasm noise as your ring tone) there is a lot of pressure on children. I mean, we all know our fair share of naive little children: those who think that sex is required in a relationship, those who think that having sex means you're "mature" or "cool".... Even just having a boyfriend or girlfriend - some kids think that having one validates them as a person and it doesn't go beyond that.

Asking people for advice (and sometimes it can be a bad thing) hopefully clears up this mess.

And like I said, I don't think anyone has asked for advice to the extent where they write a script for them too. Not that specific Lol.