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Marriage - really the 'best fit'? (3 Viewers)

loquasagacious

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SP and Iron make a good point that evolution/observed behaviour does not necessarily equate to 'right' behaviour.

On the topic of marriage:

Happy to concede that evolution has given us a biology, especially in men, of spreading the seed. However we do not live in a polygamous/polyamorous society and nor have we for a considerable period of time. How then do we explain the institution of marriage. If monogamy is not biological then why is it social? Some kind of sociocultural evolution would appear to have occurred. But why?

Polyamoroy is a model which we can rationalise as working in a hunter-gatherer society, and indeed I understand that there are some such societies still living in this way. In a society like this a men and women mate with multiple other men and women - however caring duties fall to the mother and the tribe as a whole. I suspect that this may also help manage inbreeding in small gene-pools by proving maximum genetic diversity.

These societies are essentially collectivist in nature, there are no great concepts of ownership and food is hunted/gathered/cooked/eaten in groups not individually.

However when agriculture (especially livestock) comes onto the scene we are also introducing ownership, organisation and trade. An individual is responsible for raising and protecting livestock, an individual is responsible for working a farm. Individuals will operate in groups (tribes) with leaders, because this is necessary to defend herds and farms. However crucially they are a group of individuals who trade - which relies on ownership. Specialisation of labour - which can not occur in a collective occurs.

In this environment women can no longer depend on an entire tribe for support because resources are not collective they are owned. The dominant strategy for a woman becomes monogamy with a resource rich man. On the flip-side men can no longer rely on other men to support their children and so their dominant strategy is to amass as many women as they can support, and prevent other men from sleeping with them - polygyny. Also a woman has become a resource for a man a worth amassing for that reason alone.

Also interesting at this point is that the much lower life-expectancy of men (occupational hazard of fighting/warfare) means women may be serial-monogamists having several husbands sequentially. There are some interesting stats that because of this women play a bigger role in our genetic makeup than men.

As society evolved away from farms and towards something we could reasonably call civilisation the economic cost of supporting multiple wives increases and the infant mortality rate declines (removing advantages of having 15 kids in the hope that 2 survive - if 7 survive the costs is now much higher). And so we see what we know as marriage emerging.

As male life-expectancy improved (courtesy of laws we kill each other less frequently) women would no longer need to be serial-monogamists and men ca be more discerning and only marry women without children (less costly). So the concept of the widower and virgin-bride emerges.

Fast-forwarding to the present we are entering an interesting chapter for the evolution of marriage. Women no longer need the support of men to raise a child. This dramatically reduces the incentive for women to marry and more importantly remain in a marriage. Men also have a lower incentive because they don't need to hang around for their children to survive. The disincentive to marry a woman with children is also reduced because her economic capacity can help cover the costs of her existing children.

.......................

Fun fact: My parents are not divorced however I have not yet had a serious relationship with a girl/woman whose parents were not divorced.
 
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eldore44

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Out of a combination of laziness and the need to study for two trials tomorrow, I havent bothered to read the whole thread.
But I'd just like to throw in my two cents here; I think the next generation (or maybe the one after) of married couples will be aware of the large divorce rates and will only enter into a marriage they can sustain, or their divorces will have become so accepted that there isn't going to be fallout from them. So, I think this problem will fix itself soon enough.

In answer to the original post, I think we enter into a relationship because of the old need to be accepted. That and the core human need to reproduce.
 
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SP and Iron make a good point that evolution/observed behaviour does not necessarily equate to 'right' behaviour.
In my opinion, we shouldn't use an absolutist perspective in terms of either religion or evolution/biology when looking at this.

I mean, yes, we could look at biology for an answer to how we *should* act, but biology in terms of evolutionary advantage doesn't take into account our human emotions. Sure, biologically, it would be better to be polygamous, but we don't function solely with a view to advance evolution (consciously, anyway). I'm fairly sure that, after a divorce, most people aren't thinking 'Yay, now I can spread my seed some more!', and the importance of 'spreading one's seed' could potentially be used to legitamise affairs, which could very likely be hurtful etc. and are unlikely to be accepted in biological terms.

On the other side of the coin, if we take the notion of God's command as the absolute from which we judge the legitimacy of divorce/polygamy/marriage, this has negative consequences also. Not everyone believes in God, and those who do invariably have different interpretations of the concept of God Himself/Herself/Itself and what He/She/It would have us as humans behave. So to impose one interpretation of this being and the being's teachings on humans in all their diversity wouldn't be viable, or fair.

Thus, as I said before, we should try not to judge the legitimacy of marriage/relationships with their complex combination of biology and emotional/spiritual aspects in terms of absolutes regarding either biology or religion.
 
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I'd just like to add a point in regard to the 'in favour of marriage camp' (btw, I think that it depends on circumstance and there's no absolute either way, see my above post :p). But anyway, marriage gives a chance to formalise a relationship which is an important symbol of commitment for all involved, not only the partners, but also the other family members.
 

Iheartgays

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It also brings people together.
So when the couple splits up and the kid gets depression and eventually an heros, that's bringing them together is it? I get it, its like the English Advanced "belonging" unit: they belong together in suicidal death. Woooo.
 

Cookie182

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In order for marriage to work God needs to be at the centre of it
How do you explain this to the atheist, secularly married couple who have had 25 long and happy years and are still going?

For them, your statement=0

Your saying "nothing" has to be at the centre of it.
 

Aquawhite

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Marriage is simply humanities way of following tradition and grouping together so that they belong and fit in. It's human nature to want to feel loved - it's been a long tradition that two people will form a deep intimate connection with each other and by tradition, these people will marry/elope.

The 'bond' of marriage is something introduced by religion. And that stirs up a whole new pot of tea.
 

Jeee

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Why's that?
He's aggressive, narrow-minded, manipulative and treats outsiders better than his own family. Yep, I hate his guts. If I was to thank him for one thing, I'd say 'thanks for being my sperm donor.'

Oh, lol, September 13th. Just remembered it's his birthday. Meh.
 

Aquawhite

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He's aggressive, narrow-minded, manipulative and treats outsiders better than his own family. Yep, I hate his guts. If I was to thank him for one thing, I'd say 'thanks for being my sperm donor.'

Oh, lol, September 13th. Just remembered it's his birthday. Meh.
Being your sperm donor lol XD. Donating it to your mother you mean :rofl::rofl:
 

kokodamonkey

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I think marriage is no longer taken seriously as it once was. This is because it is so easy to get out of Marriage. Aswell people dont take enough responsibliity for their actions and work harder at things.
 

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