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maths jokes...u either love em or hate em (1 Viewer)

acmilan

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Haha reminds me of the Physics vs Maths debate @ usyd. Maths got pwned solely on the fact that they werent funny
 

dawso

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Mumma said:
me = 1/cos(c) (from a history teacher actually)
well i think that u will find that i am 2/cos c
 

monique66

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hehe...i hate maths
anyway the other day my friend told me that i always go off on tangents
i told her that i was never on the parabola
we laughed
my 4U friend heard and decided to lecture us about how the locus can constitute many shapes such a circle...
we stopped laughing
:S
 

HayleeKate

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When I tell maths jokes, everyone laughs, but I dont think they understand the maths and the actual joke, just find it amusing that I find it amusing. I ate soup with number noodles in it in class the other day, and we found the average of my cup. Such fun.
 

dawso

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in a 3unit class on exponential growth and decay 2day, this question came up....

"blah blah blah...find the temperate of the water at time 't' "

the response was...... "ok, is time t tomorrow, cause i dont want 2 do it now, ill do it when time is t"
 
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grendel said:
There’s an insane mathematician locked up in mental hospital. He goes around yelling at the other patients, “I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!!!”, at which point the other patient runs off screaming in a fit of hysteria.

He does this all day until at about 8.45pm he comes across a female he has not differentiated yet. “I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!!!”, he yells at her, no reaction.

He yells at her again, “I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!!!”, still no reaction.

He puts his face millimeters from her face and yells at her again, “I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!!!” and she calmly says “I don’t care I am e to the power of x”




Sorry about that.

hey, i actually told this one to my extension maths class, and they were all laughing their heads off! i couldn't believe it!
 

Richiee

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this is a joke we made up while doing vectors,

whats the normal of "a" and "b" - abnormal


How do you make one burn?
Differentiate a log fire!

Do you know a higher cardinal than the pope?
Two to the pope!

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.


Three integrals are hanging around in a bar and one of them has just broken up with his girlfriend.
His two buddies are trying to cheer him up by pointing out all the other mathematical entities he could hook up with.
Just then a REALLY hot looking exponential function walks in and sits down at the other end of the bar so one of the Integrals says to his bummed out friend :
"Hey, look at that exponential function down there, why dont you go and integrate her?"
And his friend just looks over and says "no....it wouldnt make any difference".


TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK
1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.
 
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haboozin

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Richiee said:
this is a joke we made up while doing vectors,

whats the normal of "a" and "b" - abnormal


How do you make one burn?
Differentiate a log fire!

Do you know a higher cardinal than the pope?
Two to the pope!

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.


Three integrals are hanging around in a bar and one of them has just broken up with his girlfriend.
His two buddies are trying to cheer him up by pointing out all the other mathematical entities he could hook up with.
Just then a REALLY hot looking exponential function walks in and sits down at the other end of the bar so one of the Integrals says to his bummed out friend :
"Hey, look at that exponential function down there, why dont you go and integrate her?"
And his friend just looks over and says "no....it wouldnt make any difference".


TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK
1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.
sorry Richiee but these are so bad...
 

who_loves_maths

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Originally Posted by Richiee
Three integrals are hanging around in a bar and one of them has just broken up with his girlfriend.
His two buddies are trying to cheer him up by pointing out all the other mathematical entities he could hook up with.
Just then a REALLY hot looking exponential function walks in and sits down at the other end of the bar so one of the Integrals says to his bummed out friend :
"Hey, look at that exponential function down there, why dont you go and integrate her?"
And his friend just looks over and says "no....it wouldnt make any difference".
doesn't this depend on one's definition of an exponential function? it's not always "e" to the power of something, it can be other numbers... under which case your joke miserably crumbles.

Originally Posted by Richiee
TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK
...
10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it...
this one really depends on whether ppl know what a topological Klein Bottle in mathematics is... and most ppl in this 4u subforum wouldn't know.
 

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