Under different circumstances, and at any other time, Hamlet would not have been equal to the task set to him by the ghost of his late father. It was only through the death of Polonius, the sending-away of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and the loss of sanity by Ophelia that Hamlet was able to avenge his father’s death by killing his uncle. Without killing Polonius first, Hamlet would never have been able to kill his uncle. This is due to the fact that Polonius was really the grandfather of the local bully at Hamlet’s primary school. This boy, as a young child, was sent back in time whilst under a curse so as to make him bully Hamlet throughout junior school. This caused a build-up of friction between the two which resulted in Hamlet being run over by the bully at around age 30 whilst stumbling home drunk from the local pub. However, this did not eventuate as days before this happened, Hamlet stabbed Polonius after the bully (who pretended to be an adopted son) stole Hamlet’s new collectable marbles. This caused Polonius never to have children, and thus the bully was never born to complete his job. Therefore, Hamlet was still alive to kill his uncle when the chance arose.
This, however, was not the only thing that was prohibiting Hamlet’s orders. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern also played a key role. This came about due to the fact that the Queen of England was poised to catapult dead beavers towards Castle Ellsinore as part of a ransom. Given the average weight of a dead adult male beaver is 15kg, and the launch velocity from the specially made siege catapults was around 250km/hr, the momentum carried from a said beaver would be around 1041 kgm/s. Considering the average .303 bullet is 40 grams, this means that to have approximately the same damage potential, the bullet would have to be fired at around 93 750 km/hr. Therefore, these beavers would have caused considerable damage. However, since hamlet sent Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to England to die, this didn’t happen, as this pleased the Queen, who was a Cannibal, and enjoyed Danish flesh. Therefore, she didn’t fire the catapults, and didn’t kill Hamlet in the process.
There was still another reason, however, as to why Hamlet would not have been able to kill his uncle if the events that took place hadn’t have happened. If Ophelia had not have gone insane, Hamlet would not have been able to kill his uncle. This is due to Ophelia really being an insane giant squid tamer from Kiribati, hell-bent on killing all royalty in the world. It is no secret among insane giant squid tamers from Kiribati that having any intercourse with royalty will trigger the curse placed upon them by the aliens (the same who built the pyramids), causing them to go insane. Ophelia’s hormones, however, got the better of her, just before she was able to execute her plan. This caused her to go insane, meaning that her squids didn’t get fed, and thus went off to hunt the Norwegians, thus causing their prince, Fortenbras, to lead them from Norway to Denmark to stay safe. Also, since Ophelia was insane, she was unable to complete her assassination of Hamlet, allowing him to kill his uncle.
As can obviously be seen, the events that occurred leading up to Hamlet’s killing of his uncle to complete his dead father’s wish had to happen, or else hamlet would not have been alive to complete the request. Therefore, it must be disagreed that, under other circumstances and at any other time, Hamlet would have been equal to the task.
