Official: Joke Thread (3 Viewers)

[onur91]

A penguin is driving down the highway, his car breaks down and is towed to the nearest garage. The mechanic tells the penguin to go inside the shop and help himself to some ice cream while he takes a look at his car.

It's about 40 degrees that day, so the penguin eats his ice cream while its melting, leaving his face covered in vanilla ice cream. He makes his way towards the mechanic, who is working away under the bonnet. The mechanic says to the penguin without looking up, "it looks like you a blew a seal", and the penguin replies, "no, I only had a Cornetto"...

 

[xMaNx]

Why does a white bear dissolve in water?

Because they're polar!

I wish I were your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves!

cool joke.

A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"

diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"

not cool dude.

 

[Reanna]

the religion which says dinosars romed the earth before man

the fact that you can't spell 'roamed'

 

[CardCheat]

What's the only positive thing about black ppls?

HIV LOL

serious lol

 

[ohexploitable]

haha fuck

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

A business man met a nice young asian girl at a bar and managed to get her into bed that night.

When on the golf-course the next day, he bragged to his friend; "She was gorgeous. One thing though, during sex she kept yelling something out in Japanese. I think it was some kind of victory cry or something..."

His friend, fluent in Japanese, asked; "Can you repeat it to me?"

The man repeated the 'cry' and a strange look ran across his friend's face; "What?"

"That means; 'Wrong hole'..."

 

[Deezee3]

your mum so fat, she had to order cheats for wii fit

 

[pony_magician]

womens rights