Once a cheater, Always a cheater (2 Viewers)

[felixcthecat]

this is such and open ended questioN!! cuz there is no one answer since it realli depends on each person who cheats and whether they feel any guilt in cheating. despite cheating may come in many different forms, just take the most simple one, cheating on urself (playing some random games the night before a big exam, and pretending to urself that u're all ready for it when u're not) .. some people may get a 40%, and think, oh, 'badluck! better luck next time', and they go bac and keep doing those bad habit things.. while some other ppl may understand that they shouldn't be playing the night before a big exam, ANOTHER type of ppl would feel guilty even touching the game the first time..
so even if someone cheats, they have a chance of learning, i guess it realli depends on their own thoughts of their own life and career and maybe how they were brought up to believe the importance of facing what is true, not what seems most ideal

 

[karoooh]

I'm inclined to say "true". The optimistic bones in my body, rather, want me to say "false". I'd love to have some faith in people, but I often hear myself say "once a cheater always a cheat"

I'm like this too, except, my views would probably change to 'true' indefinately because of one person that I do know who has cheated, is cheating and will most probably, always cheat - That arsehole.

So I'm going to vote 'true'.

 

[Danoz The Great]

Voted true .

 

[Darkening]

Also voted true

 

[withoutaface]

habits become a part of who u are and bad habits come easy but die hard.....therefore if once a cheat then they're a cheat, even if the change, that habit will still be there

What if they cheat only once? It's not habitual.

 

[sparkl3z]

once leads to twice leads etc etc....u cant trust it.

 

[jhakka]

once leads to twice leads etc etc....u cant trust it.

The same can go if you say "He didn't cheat once, so he'll not cheat again, and then again after that..." Once faithful always faithful doesn't have the same ring, does it?

 

[withoutaface]

once leads to twice leads etc etc....u cant trust it.

Gotta love blanket statements.

 

[sparkl3z]

it's probably 0.99 percent that do change. forgiving the guy would be like making him more relaxed, you're giving in so easily so he will think "oh why not do it again" not guaranteed either way, but more possibility of a cheater cheating. same for cheater girls 2 ofcourse. cruel to be kind. ends there.

 

[Darkening]

its like quittin to smoke.... chew gun to stop ... *dnno how is this anythin to do with anything... buh meh*

 

[Ranger Stacie]

it depends on the situation upon which the cheating occurred and the persons involved.

 

[ur_inner_child]

ahahah waf.

oh waf.
i miss people like you on bos.
the ratio of people like you are dwindling.

 

[Ranger Stacie]

it's probably 0.99 percent that do change. forgiving the guy would be like making him more relaxed, you're giving in so easily so he will think "oh why not do it again" not guaranteed either way, but more possibility of a cheater cheating. same for cheater girls 2 ofcourse. cruel to be kind. ends there.

i like how you used the guy as the example though

 

[glycerine]

as someone who'll actually own up to cheating and more than once, i think probably true. it's not even about the physical act though, it's about the mentality behind it. cheaters usually find committment extremely hard to deal with and that's a hard thing to overcome. even if you never physically stray again, you'll struggle with the mindset.

 

[braad]

it's probably 0.99 percent that do change. forgiving the guy would be like making him more relaxed, you're giving in so easily so he will think "oh why not do it again" not guaranteed either way, but more possibility of a cheater cheating. same for cheater girls 2 ofcourse. cruel to be kind. ends there.

yep, lets go secks

 

[lilkiwifruit]

I picked true. I know someone who is a habitual cheater... he says it's not because he doesn't love his girlfriend, its because of the excitement of cheating and that its really difficult to change even though he knows that he is hurting the person he loves. Personally, I find gamblers and cheaters tend to be in the same category, both of them need counselling.

 

[glycerine]

I picked true. I know someone who is a habitual cheater... he says it's not because he doesn't love his girlfriend, its because of the excitement of cheating and that its really difficult to change even though he knows that he is hurting the person he loves. Personally, I find gamblers and cheaters tend to be in the same catergory, both of them need counselling.

yes, i agree completely with that. i see sex addiction as extremely valid, as in as valid as affliction as alcoholism or gambling addiction. i know some people don't though because there's not the actual physical addction (ie withdrawals or whatever)

 

[alby]

even if you never physically stray again, you'll struggle with the mindset.

not everyone who cheats intends to do it.

i have cheated twice (kissed someone else, but more than just a single peck). it's not like i'm a habitual cheater, or even like cheating, i just feel asthough i have not control over the situation at the time - my mind seems to dissappear. i regretted and felt guilty both times. i never want it to happen, but it still does. it never feels good and it's not something i do for the fun of it.

there is no 'mindset' of 'oh, this' fun, let's keep doing this', with me its a confused 'oooooooook then..' where i seem to have no control over my actions. it's not a weakness as such for me, but it does make me lose any control or will i usually have.

on the other hand, i know at least 2 people who are habbitual/long-term cheaters and do get enjoyment out of it. once a cheater, always a cheater may be a label stuck on people like them, but not everyone.

 

[glycerine]

ummm you have so missed my point.

part of the mindset is the loss of control. it's not about whether or not you 'enjoy' it. you have cheated twice, :. you had the mindset of a cheater and while you may not ever exchange so much as a stray hug again for the rest of your life, you obviously have the tendency to 'lose control' which could always rear its head again.

btw, i think the 'i didn't intend for it to happen, it just did....' excuse is really weak. you may not have gone out with the intention of cheating, but everyone has choices. be an adult and own up to your actions instead of trying to hide behind a loss of control. you may not have been as in control as you usually are, but that doesn't mean you couldnt've stopped yourself.

 

[alby]

i get your point glyc
i probably am weak when it comes to boyfriends and potentials, which explains why i've had so many stupid relationships in the past.

yes, it's a weak excuse, but it's the only 'reason' (if you can call it that) i have to explain why it happened (ie. i dont know why/how it happened..either time). i'm not saying it didnt happen, i'm just saying that i didnt intend/expect/want it to happen