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Beege

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In What Ways Does The Author Draw You Into The World Of The Novel? (We All Fall Down)


Robert Cormier's We All Fall Down is a compelling novel about individuals who 'fall down' in society, hence the title of the novel. The novel itself is ultimately pessimistic as it contains a negative plot. Techniques are used to compel the reader to explore the text. These techniques include the events, themes and the structure of the text.

The beginning is the most important part of the novel as it instantly draws the reader into the novel. The characters known as 'The Trashers' charge their way into a local neighbourhood home trashing everything in their path. 'The trashers went through the house leaving everything broken, they trashed everything in their path.' The responder learns that The Trashers have no mercy and are very aggressive. This compels the responder. Karen Jerome, the victim of the trashing ends up in a coma due to being pushed down the stairs. This lets the reader wonder if she will ever wake up? An important aspect that compels the reader to continue reading. Short sentences are also used to create suspense as well as violent verbs such as 'piss on the walls' and 'trashing' to interest the responder.

The Avenger in We All Fall Down is arguably the most important character in the novel because of the events created by him that compels the reader. The Avenger is a mentally unstable character who ends up killing a school bully named Vaughn Masterson. 'The bones crunched as the bullet penetrated his face.' At this moment, the event shocks the responder and the responder discovers the character of The Avenger, what he is like. The Avenger ends up killing again, this time his grandfather as he may be 'on' to his grandson about what he did to Vaughn Masterson. Cormier uses this event to keep the responder interested in his novel. The novel would lose much of its suspense without The Avenger as his character is the most interesting.

Cormier uses two important events in his novel that adds to the suspense of his novel. One of the events is the ending of the first episode of the novel when the responder discovers that Jane gave Harry Flowers the key to the house. A plot technique designed to once again persuade the reader to continue reading. The other event that Cormier uses in his novel is the ending of the second episode. Jane Jerome is kidnapped by The Avenger because he is angry at the fact that Jane is dating one of The Trashers (Buddy Walker). The Avenger constantly reminds Jane that he is '11 years old.' Jane uses the strength of her mind to escape her situation, 'An 11 year old wouldn't look at a girl's breasts.' This event creates suspense for the responder. 'He slit both of his wrists and then stabbed himself in the stomach.' Violence which is conveyed to add to the suspense of Cormier's novel. This thrilling climax effectively draws the reader into the storyline.

Cormier has effectively drawn his readers into his thrilling novel. He has spread all of his events out well. If he used all of the events at once the reader would lose interest. The themes that he has conveyed have also added to the novel. Cormier has created a novel that effectively draws the reader 'into the world.'




I want you guys to give me some feedback. Would be greatly appreciated.
 

hufakasy-prid3

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Haii Um Dats An Awesome Essay

Though I Wouldnt Really Kal It An Essay Its Just Too Short

So R U Adding Anything Else Because That Essay Is Band 6 Potential

Love The Introduction!!
 

Beege

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hufakasy-prid3 said:
Haii Um Dats An Awesome Essay

Though I Wouldnt Really Kal It An Essay Its Just Too Short

So R U Adding Anything Else Because That Essay Is Band 6 Potential

Love The Introduction!!
thx really? I don't know what else to put in my essay. I have already done my assessment on this module and I haven't gotten the result back yet. The question for the task was really bad. 'Discuss the ending of We All Fall Down'. I just mentioned the events leading up to the ending and how Buddy, Jane and The Avenger have changed or didn't change. e.g. Jane has become a stronger individual and Buddy has gone back to his old ways as he is a weak character.
 

RyLix

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man nice essay. you used alot of quotes which is good. But the essay is too short, the body must be longer, i think its good to do 8 - 10 lines per paragraph. use more words instead of repeating each word. Yea i also agree that hte intro is good, it draws your attention because of the persuasive language you have used.
 

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Beege said:
These techniques include the events, themes and the structure of the text.
This doesn't seem to make sense, are you implying that the events, themes and structures themselves are techniques?

Beege said:
The responder learns that The Trashers have no mercy and are very aggressive. This compels the responder. Karen Jerome, the victim of the trashing ends up in a coma due to being pushed down the stairs. This lets the reader wonder if she will ever wake up? An important aspect that compels the reader to continue reading.
How does it compel the reader? --> techniques

Beege said:
Short sentences are also used to create suspense as well as violent verbs such as 'piss on the walls' and 'trashing' to interest the responder
The techniques are mentioned in isolation. You should incorporate them into the part where you say how they communicate themes etc.

Beege said:
'The bones crunched as the bullet penetrated his face.' At this moment, the event shocks the responder and the responder discovers the character of The Avenger, what he is like.
Mention the technique that causes this shock e.g. onomatopoeia in 'crunched'

Beege said:
The Avenger ends up killing again, this time his grandfather as he may be 'on' to his grandson about what he did to Vaughn Masterson. Cormier uses this event to keep the responder interested in his novel. The novel would lose much of its suspense without The Avenger as his character is the most interesting.
You could expand on this with more analysis of techniques and examples

Beege said:
Cormier uses two important events in his novel that adds to the suspense of his novel. One of the events is the ending of the first episode of the novel when the responder discovers that Jane gave Harry Flowers the key to the house. A plot technique designed to once again persuade the reader to continue reading.
NAME the specific techniques. 'Plot technique' is too general.

Beege said:
The other event that Cormier uses in his novel is the ending of the second episode. Jane Jerome is kidnapped by The Avenger because he is angry at the fact that Jane is dating one of The Trashers (Buddy Walker). The Avenger constantly reminds Jane that he is '11 years old.' Jane uses the strength of her mind to escape her situation, 'An 11 year old wouldn't look at a girl's breasts.' This event creates suspense for the responder. 'He slit both of his wrists and then stabbed himself in the stomach.' Violence which is conveyed to add to the suspense of Cormier's novel. This thrilling climax effectively draws the reader into the storyline.
Once again NAME the specific techniques and examples that cause this effect of suspense.

Beege said:
Cormier has effectively drawn his readers into his thrilling novel. He has spread all of his events out well. If he used all of the events at once the reader would lose interest. The themes that he has conveyed have also added to the novel. Cormier has created a novel that effectively draws the reader 'into the world.'
Pretty random conclusion in my opinion


Apart from the lack of detail and length, there was a bit too much story telling and nowhere near enough depth of analysis of the text. In my opinion it's of band 4 standard. You need to analyse the techniques and relate them to their effects and then how they communicate certain ideas which draw the reader's interest. Hope that was critical enough lol :D

Surprising how some people reckon it's an awesome essay....lol
 

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I'm not going to go into this too much, but I'm just going to comment on the intro and general structure, cos otherwise I'll rewrite it and god I procrastinate my own work too much as it is.


Firstly you don't answer the question explicitly enough

In What Ways Does The Author Draw You Into The World Of The Novel?

Still reading through your essay I'm not entirely clear how the author does this, you didn't answer it in your intro, or your body and your conclusion doesn't match up. I know that you know what you're talking about, but you have to spell it out.

General tip the first sentence of an essay should relate directly to the question, with a few tweaks you could do that.

You should try and beef up your intro, publishing dates, author's name, the full title,

answer the question
introduce the texts
your argument
show why counter argument is wrong
show evidence
this is important to society and us becuse

Your main problem is that you don't follow the two basic rules of essays
1) answer the question clearly
2) talk about what you are going to talk about, then talk about what you said you were going to talk about

You should use the words from the question in your argument and then use those same words in your topic sentences, and linking CONTINUOUSLY, I read your intro and thought your argument was events, themes and the structure of the text
but you seemed to talk about
the beginning, a character, and other events in the novel, which doesn't match your introduction at all

Your conclusion doesn't fit either. Your conclusion should literary be your introduction in different words, don't feel compelled to add anything extra, thats just detrimental. You haven't answered your main argument and you go on about one facet ie "events spread out" and themes which you have not mentioned at any point during the body, what are these themes you speak of?

It does feel that you are retelling the story a bit, but that's mainly because your argument isn't that strong, and that can be changed with a bit of work.

I'm going to be honest, I don't think this is a good essay. You don't have a clear argument, and I kept getting lost in it. If I were you I'd spend more time structuring it, learning how to make an argument and argue it continuously. Remember to sign post, use words directly from the question in your argument and in your topic sentences and linking sentences. The markers are looking for these sign posts.

Figure out what you're talking about and make sure you stay on target. If its themes, talk about themes, if its structure talk about structure, if its language, talk about language, if it characters etc. I think as soon as you do that, it will improve 10 fold, its not just you, most people don't do it either so don't feel this is a personal attack.

sorry my cat is begging for attention and likes stepping on the deleto key, so if this post is a bit all over the place, its not my fault.

The book did sound interesting though, I think I'll read it.
 

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Well it wasn't the essay I wrote for my assessment. When I get the essay I wrote back I will post it on here and can you guys please give me opinions about it please because it would help me greatly.

P.S English is shit
 

Beege

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This is for educating rita but here is my progress so far. Can you guys tell me if I'm on the right track with this essay.

Educating Rita, a play written by Willy Russell, ‘Feeling Good’, a song written by Nina Simone explores new life for the individuals as they change from their old world into a new and better world. People change because they want to open up more opportunities in their lives and overall increase their standard of living. These texts revolve around this theory.

Educating Rita by Willy Russell explores the growth and change of Rita, a middle classed hairdresser who seeks new life because she is unsatisfied with her current situation. The difficulty of leaving her old world and entering the new world is symbolized by Rita struggling to open the door of Frank’s office. This makes the responder believe that changing is rather difficult. ‘Everyone expects me to have a baby. I don’t…I wanna discover meself first.’ Her ambition is to move ‘into the world’ before she does anything else and her vocabulary is very colloquial symbolizing to the responder that she is not yet educated. To change she has to sacrifice everything including her relationship with Denny. The burning of Rita’s books depicts the people that are close to Rita not accepting her change. ‘I wish I could talk like that’ indicates for the reader that she immensely wants to be educated like the other students.
 

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Beege said:
This is for educating rita but here is my progress so far. Can you guys tell me if I'm on the right track with this essay.

Educating Rita, a play written by Willy Russell, and‘Feeling Good’, a song written by Nina Simone explores new life for the individuals as they change from their old world into a new and better world. People change because they want to open up more opportunities in their lives and overall increase their standard of living. These texts revolve around this theory.

Willy Russell's play Educating Rita explores the growth and change of Rita, a middle classed hairdresser who seeks new life because she is unsatisfied with her current situation. The difficulty of leaving her old world and entering the new world is symbolized by Rita struggling to open the door of Frank’s office. This makes the responder believe that changing is rather difficult. and perhaps the physical divide between rita's world and frank's? and theres also the window which separates rita from the other students!‘Everyone expects me to have a baby. I don’t…I wanna discover meself first.’ Her ambition is to move ‘into the world’ before she does anything else and her vocabulary is very colloquial symbolizing to the responder that she is not yet educated. hmm...i think its more about the pressures of society to conform to her world and their fear of the unknown (e.g. education) russell's contrasts the so-called 'Educated class' with the lower class society through the speech of frank and rita. maybe find examples of where its obvious that rita and frank are of 2 different worlds? To change she has to sacrifice everything including her relationship with Denny. The burning of Rita’s books depicts the people that are close to Rita not accepting her change. ‘I wish I could talk like that’ indicates for the reader that she immensely wants to be educated like the other students.
i think its pretty good so far! just need to elaborate the first paragraph a bit more...theres also the bit about where she makes it into her desired world, conforms to that world of the educated class, realises through trish's attempted suicide that the educated world isnt all that great and decides to remain true to her beliefs and individuality. theres also frank's change! a light mention of him :)
 
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Beege

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lizziegirl said:
i think its pretty good so far! just need to elaborate the first paragraph a bit more...theres also the bit about where she makes it into her desired world, conforms to that world of the educated class, realises through trish's attempted suicide that the educated world isnt all that great and decides to remain true to her beliefs and individuality. theres also frank's change! a light mention of him :)
Well yeah I was gonna add the stuff you mentioned just then in my essay anyway but thanks for the feedback! I just have one question, do my related texts have to be the same length as the discussion about Educating Rita? because I think I got marked down a couple of assessments ago for talking too much about my prescribed text and less about my related texts.
 

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Beege said:
Well yeah I was gonna add the stuff you mentioned just then in my essay anyway but thanks for the feedback! I just have one question, do my related texts have to be the same length as the discussion about Educating Rita? because I think I got marked down a couple of assessments ago for talking too much about my prescribed text and less about my related texts.
perhaps u dont have to discuss it as indepth as Educating Rita- just 1-3 quotes & techniques in each paragraph to demonstrate the contrast/differences of the growht of ur other text's character to Rita.
 

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Beege
Not a bad essay, but not a good one either.
The stuff you mentioned in the first paragraph are not answered in the body of the text. Make sure what ever you write you answer.

I read it and didn't get it. You need to treat the marker/reader like someone who knows NOTHING and by the end they need to know.

You are also telling the story. Not analysing it in detail and to the extent needed for higher marks.

You will also get butchered by the length. That is definately not enough.

I am sorry to put you down, but Standard is easy, but to get good marks there are ppl out there who will be writing pages. Yes, more doesn't equal good, but there are ppl out there who will write good and write a LOT.

I missed out on a band 6 by just a few marks, and I wrote at least 1400 words for each of the essays and it was good quality material, i spent 6 months rewriting it again and again till it was no problem, and still didn't get me a band 6.

If you want band 6, u need more than that.

You have the potential. GOOD LUCK!!

Ur Education rite essay. I can help a bit more coz i did that myself..

Everything you write, you need a quote. It is crazy i know, but quotes is wat allows the market to know u know ur stuff? You cand remember them well that that is what forms the basis of ur argument. you need the supporting evidence, and quotes are the best!

So you said that because rita is finding it hard to open the door, show it. And show the progresion of her finding it easier and in the end 'the door flew open' etc etc. There are lots of things you can discuss.

I would suggest reading last yrs HSC responses, they give a good indication of wat is expected of good and bad. They are very helpful. I learnt how to write essays and everything that day. It is a worthwhile $30 to spend.. or just borrow it off someone... =D

good luck!

and don't think standard english is horrible. It is good. it is hard to do well yes.. but it is a very good course!

i will still pick std english if i got to redo my HSC.. which is something I realli wanna do... haha!
 

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You are also telling the story. Not analysing it in detail and to the extent needed for higher marks.
I noticed that in less than a second.
So what's the module and its elective for this text ?
Because that's what you have to focus on.

You will also get butchered by the length. That is definately not enough.
Most definitely, 3.5 pages is the bare minimum in Standard English I'm told.
I also agree 3.5 pages is sufficent.
Too little your marks will plummet.
Too much and you will lose too much time.

I would suggest reading last yrs HSC responses, they give a good indication of wat is expected of good and bad. They are very helpful. I learnt how to write essays and everything that day. It is a worthwhile $30 to spend.. or just borrow it off someone... =D
Teacher hands them out and YES they are helpful.

I am sorry to put you down, but Standard is easy, but to get good marks there are ppl out there who will be writing pages. Yes, more doesn't equal good, but there are ppl out there who will write good and write a LOT.
To YOU English may be easy, however, English is my (and many other's) weakness successfully exploited. It requires the most effort next to Maths. Ext. 1.

In terms of writing, most of the time those who write a ridiculously lengthy essay achieve very high marks and I still can't comprehend how much time they used up.
But still, of course it isn't good practice, balance is the key.

and don't think standard english is horrible. It is good. it is hard to do well yes.. but it is a very good course!
Refer to first line of above response to previous quote.
 

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I've almost finished my prepared 'into the world' essay and I will post it here when it's complete. It's 964 words so far.
 

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K I've finished my pre-prepared into the world essay. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

‘Why & How Do People Change In Your Texts?’

Educating Rita, a play written by Willy Russell, ‘Feeling Good’ a song written by Nina Simone and Extreme Makeover by the American ABC television network explore new life for the individuals as they change into a new and better world. Techniques are used such as symbolism, metaphors and types of language including formal and colloquial to communicate changes in individuals and their new lives. People change because they want to open up more opportunities in their lives and overall improve their standard of living. These texts revolve around this theory.

Educating Rita by Willy Russell explores the growth and change of Rita, a middle classed hairdresser who seeks new life because she is dissatisfied with her current situation. She wants to move become part of the educated middle class as it will increase opportunities for her. The difficulty of leaving her old world and entering the new world is symbolized by the stage direction of Rita struggling to open the door of Frank’s office. ‘He looks at the door but no one enters although the handle keeps being turned’. This separates Rita’s uneducated life from Frank’s academic life. Also the window in Frank’s office symbolizes a barricade between Rita and educated people, she has to change her way of life before she can be a part of educated society and she hasn’t changed as of yet. ‘Everyone expects me to have a baby. I don’t…I wanna discover meself first.’ Her ambition is to move ‘into the world’ before she does anything else and her vocabulary is very colloquial ‘meself’ symbolizing that she is not yet educated and has a lot to learn before she becomes a different person. To change she has to sacrifice everything including her relationship with Denny. The burning of Rita’s Chekhov books depicts the people that are close to Rita not accepting her change. If she changed then she wouldn’t be a part of their lifestyle; she would be different to them because she would be educated unlike them and would not fit in with them anymore. ‘I wish I could talk like that’ indicates that she immensely wants to be educated like the other students. Eventually the window is no longer a barrier when she sits with the other students on the grass. The author uses two separate acts in his play to indicate a transition for Rita into a new world. In the first act she doesn’t develop but has the determination to change. In the second act she starts to become different. The first noticeable change in Rita is when she moves in with Trish, another educated individual just like Frank. ‘To talk properly, as Trish says’ She seeks to emulate those she admires, such as Trish and follows a predetermined set of social rules to become educated. The stage direction ‘She is dressed in new, second hand clothes’ symbolizes her shift in personality, while the clothes are new to her, her personality is borrowed. The stage direction of Rita knocking instead of struggling is another indicator of her changing, her attitude and personality is improving, she is becoming a better individual in society ‘There is a knock at the door’, she has changed from an uneducated and ignorant person into a more sensible and knowledgeable woman . She now believes that her older books and essays are ‘irrelevant rubbish’ which means she has learnt to appreciate higher-end literature because of her new way of living, she now understands harder material as she has learnt to become educated, the literature of ‘educated people’. Rita eventually learns that the educated life doesn’t exactly bring happiness when Trish attempts to commit suicide, ‘Trish spends the other half of her life trying to kill herself’. She changes her name back to ‘Susan White’ as it sounds more formal compared to Rita indicating that she wants to erase her unfulfilling past, her uneducated past. Passing her examination means now that she has more opportunities and has moved into a new and better world because of Frank who has assisted her in becoming more educated.

‘Feeling Good’ a song written and performed by Nina Simone is about a new and better life for the singer as she has woken up and has realised that her life is more fulfilling than the previous days she has woken up. The composer uses symbolism in her lyrics to create awareness of the new and better world she has woken up to ‘Birds in the sky, you know how I feel, sun in the sky, you know how I feel’ This symbolizes bliss for the composer as her new day appears to be far superior compared to the previous days in her life. The jazz style of music used in this song creates an upbeat background to add to the composer’s story indicating that it is positive. She claims that the new day has brought her new life ‘It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me and I’m feeling good’. This means that her overall standard of living has improved drastically, her attitude about the world around her has changed as a result of her night sleep ‘And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me’. Her new life has also created a sense of freedom for her ‘Oh freedom is mine and you know how I feel’ meaning that her new perception of life has broadened her opportunities, she can now do what she wants to do in life as opposed to her old life.

Extreme Makeover, by the American television channel ABC is a television show about individuals who undergo cosmetic surgery because they feel uncomfortable with their appearance which prevents them from having a satisfying life. Each episode, two fortunate people are selected and they go through a number of procedures including surgery, dental work and shopping for new clothes. Before and after shots of the patients are used to contrast the differences between their old and new worlds. The after shot symbolizes that the individuals who have participated in this television show have changed. Tracking shots around the participants’ faces also emphasizes change. Their new appearance portrays new life and means they have moved into the world. The world that will provide them with more opportunities and it will create happiness for them.

Many people change throughout their lives for a number of good reasons including improving life satisfaction and broadening their options. Getting educated, waking up in the morning or even undergoing surgery can help individuals transform. Change is very important because it leads to growing mentally and emotionally which will benefit the person who is changing.
 

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~Sw33ti3~ said:
I am sorry to put you down, but Standard is easy, but to get good marks there are ppl out there who will be writing pages. Yes, more doesn't equal good, but there are ppl out there who will write good and write a LOT.

I missed out on a band 6 by just a few marks, and I wrote at least 1400 words for each of the essays and it was good quality material, i spent 6 months rewriting it again and again till it was no problem, and still didn't get me a band 6.

If you want band 6, u need more than that.
I agree that Standard is easy, but I don't agree that you need more than 1400 words quality material to get band 6.

I got close to band 6, and that was mainly because I screwed up Paper 1 big time. I couldn't tackle the questions in Paper 1 well enough, probably because I got way too nervous doing an official HSC exam for the first time, and I estimated that I probably got 25/45 raw mark in Paper 1 whch was terrible. For Paper 2 though, I felt very confident that I answered the questions convincingly, yet wrote no more than 5 BOS booklet pages each for Module A and Module B (equates to about 2.5 A4 pages each), and 7-8 (about 3.5-4 A4 pages) for Module C since I prepared two related texts instead of one. Plus, I even had 5-10 minutes of time left to quickly read over my responses in Paper 2.

Considering that I ended up with a high band 5, I'm pretty confident I would have got band 6 in the exam if I hadn't stuffed up Paper 1 so badly. A friend that I know didn't write any better or more than I did, and he got band 6 for his exam mark since he didn't screw up Paper 1 (but his school mark dragged him down just an annoying inch away from totalling band 6 lol).

So I can safely say that even 700-800 words can do the trick for a band 6. I mean I probably didn't go anywhere over 1000 words in each of my responses in both papers and still managed approximately band 6 level responses in Paper 2. You just need to keep your eye on answering the question, the rubric and giving a convincing and concise argument.
 

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My assessment is on tuesday and I need to get my into the world essay checked, it's pretty urgent plus my friends mum is an english teacher and she is going to mark it today.
 

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Well I got the mark back for the we all fall down essay I did last term and I only got 50% FUCK!!! and I don't know my rank for it. Why english why?!?
 

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Beege said:
Well I got the mark back for the we all fall down essay I did last term and I only got 50% FUCK!!! and I don't know my rank for it. Why english why?!?
The we all fall down essay just wasn't all that crash hot. It's been said before but the most important thing in an english essay is contact with the question. It's all about the relationship between how and what. You spent waaaay to much time on the what part, retelling the story and using nice quotes. However these just sat in the middle of nowhere serving no real purpose. Your writing needs to be much much denser, with every sentence serving a specific purpose. You need to first deal with the WHAT, ie what the text is saying, and what comment it makes in relation to the question. Secondly you need to deal with the HOW. This is where you 'fell down' as it were. You had the quotes in there, but there seemed to be no real relationship between your quote and what the text was saying. Your quote MUST support what you are saying about the text. Furthermore, you then MUST show HOW the composer says whatever he/she is saying through SPECIFIC use of techniques (ie extended metaphor, vivid imagery, first person, truncated sentences, change of perspective....composers will generally use at least one of those so take your pick as long as it supports what you are saying) Don't just technique dump as this looks really obvious. There has to be a good flowing connection between your WHAT (your comments) and your HOW (techniques and quotes [btw, your quote should contain the technique you're talking about])

Hope this helps, PM me if you want me to give you more specific feedback on one of your essays
 

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