People who arent right for you. (1 Viewer)

[azzie]

I just wanted to know if this was a qwerk of my character or if everyone else had this kinda thing too...


I go out on dates with people, just you know, casually our to drinks or dinner somewhere nice but not fancy, and during the conversation I pick up how the other person acts and talks and thinks pretty well. I basically get an idea of what they're like. Then I weigh it up in my mind and (for the most part, or so far) realise how wrong that person is for me. I know I could convince myself that I like them and that I could have a nice relationship with them for a while, say up to a year. But after that there would be nothing.

So a few days later I totally stop seeing them, stop talking to them and stop thinking about them.

I think I'm really strange.
Anyone else like this?

 

[SarahMary]

I do this too. Well I still talk to them and stuff if i could see them being a friend. But with the last few I've thought "We'd be great for a year or so, but then it'd suck"/ "You're going to end up being an ass to me"/ "I don't find you attractive that way, but you're going to make a really good friend"

It's not even something I necessarily think about or weigh up, it's just a gut reaction, or something I can see happening

 

[*~Dazed~*]

You are lucky it takes one date for you to realise.
It usually takes me a few months of bullshit before my brain registers that it's just not going to happen.

But on the only lasting a year thing... does it really matter? If you can even see it lasting THAT long than surely there is something good about it so its worth a try. And if it only lasts a year, so be it, you enjoyed yourself, cared about someone, loved/were loved maybe and experienced...

 

[santaslayer]

i'd just give it a try unless they'redog ugly or have some massive flaw in their personality that u hate..

id say ur overanalysing too much and not willing to try. this is how i feel from what u've typed only.

 

[SarahMary]

Well i don't know how soon other people jump into going on a date with someone, but dates scare the living hell out of me for one reason or another, so theres just conversation and general hanging out first. So I might have a better impression of the persons personality by then than others
And as aforementioned i dont really think about it at all. For the most part it's a gut feeling. And I stick by my gut feelings, they've never steered me wrong in the past

 

[AlleyCat]

i'd say for the most part i do the same thing, look at the ways in which i differ from a potential love-interest. i'd say though that if you can immediately see the ways in which a relationship wont work out then your instincts are probably right.

there are plenty of fish in the sea, and its good to have fun while you're young. i went through a series of short flings before meeting my current boyfriend, who i wasnt at first attracted to exactly but who fascinated me and understood me. it's only been a few months, and i dont want to jinx myself, but it feels so right.

try and break out of places and people who you are used to, dont limit yourself by only talking to people you find instantly attractive.

 

[jasonmatthew]

better to grow your love into someone than to think they're perfect at first but have to see their flaws.

 

[azzie]

mmm well. I go on dates with different people, I give them a fair shot. I cant say I dont have fun or anything, its nice to talk to people and meet someone new... but theres usually no "spark"- they're very very attractive and can talk but... I can't honestly see myself being with them in the long term.
While everyone says going out with people for a while is alright and you can learn a lot if you just go out for a year and break up and move on, but it's just so dissapointing. Imagine being with someone for that long and then walking away and sure you've learnt new things but you've put all that effort into something but then it's over.

I want someone who's smart, who makes me think and who won't be full on at the beginning. I meet "nice" hot guys who arent very smart or interesting and they're way too easy to work out. It just annoys me.
I judge people too fast. But most of the time I'm right.

 

[AlleyCat]

I want someone who's smart, who makes me think and who won't be full on at the beginning. I meet "nice" hot guys who arent very smart or interesting and they're way too easy to work out. It just annoys me.
I judge people too fast. But most of the time I'm right.

i know exactly what you mean, because i used to get so sick of the same type of people. But what i did was i made a decision that i would step outside my world and find interesting outsiders. i have met amazing friends and am in a wonderful relationship.

 

[azzie]

i know exactly what you mean, because i used to get so sick of the same type of people. But what i did was i made a decision that i would step outside my world and find interesting outsiders. i have met amazing friends and am in a wonderful relationship.

you make me jealous

 

[AlleyCat]

you make me jealous

trust me, if you knew my history with the males of the species you wouldn't envy me. i deserve to be happy, its been a tough ride...

but thanks life's pretty good right now.

 

[Some_Guy]

I just wanted to know if this was a qwerk of my character or if everyone else had this kinda thing too...


I go out on dates with people, just you know, casually our to drinks or dinner somewhere nice but not fancy, and during the conversation I pick up how the other person acts and talks and thinks pretty well. I basically get an idea of what they're like. Then I weigh it up in my mind and (for the most part, or so far) realise how wrong that person is for me. I know I could convince myself that I like them and that I could have a nice relationship with them for a while, say up to a year. But after that there would be nothing.

So a few days later I totally stop seeing them, stop talking to them and stop thinking about them.

I think I'm really strange.
Anyone else like this?

were they too black for you?

 

[katy-g]

You need to rent 'The Sweetest Thing' on DVD.

Will solve all problems.

 

[azzie]

movies have made my expectations unrealistically high already.

 

[55078]

You sound like a perfectionist. Me too. It's not fun.

 

[azzie]

haha yes.
i guess i've thrown away some decent prospective relationships thus far but theres some things you just dont want.
i guess its better being single than fooling yourself?
or are there some people out there who'll tell me dating as many people as possible is the way to go? haha

 

[azzie]

yeh i can convince myself to settle for a day or two but after that i just realise all their faults. and the more i see them and the more someone likes me and is all full on, the less i like them.

i guess for most people theres someone out there and its just a matter of time.
im an impatient person though haha.
someones going to come to this thread and say something like "no true love doesnt exist" and make me all emo haha

 

[MzbLaZeIT]

I just wanted to know if this was a qwerk of my character or if everyone else had this kinda thing too...


I go out on dates with people, just you know, casually our to drinks or dinner somewhere nice but not fancy, and during the conversation I pick up how the other person acts and talks and thinks pretty well. I basically get an idea of what they're like. Then I weigh it up in my mind and (for the most part, or so far) realise how wrong that person is for me. I know I could convince myself that I like them and that I could have a nice relationship with them for a while, say up to a year. But after that there would be nothing.

So a few days later I totally stop seeing them, stop talking to them and stop thinking about them.

I think I'm really strange.
Anyone else like this?

yep trust me
that is sooo me!
they take me out, they tell me they actually do like me and want something further to happen, but im like thinking do i even like him? just coz he likes me and takes me out, do i have to go? why do i feel obliged too?
hell i dont like him! so im gonna save us both time + not talk to the guy anymore!
happens to me

when a guy comes along that WE like + we love, thats when we knows its right to start a real relationship
until them im staying single!

 

[Ranger Stacie]

Maybe you just arent ready for someone right now so your subconscious is picking on the little things to stop you from getting head on into a relationship. I used to do this and I was single for SO long. Anyway as much as you think you know someone after a couple of dates, believe me, you DONT. Youdbe suprised how people are full of suprises. It took me and my bf ages to get together ( like a year)and hes the total opposite of what i or anyone could have imagined me being with, and i think for him as well. All of the reasons I had earlier for not wanting to be with him from the start turned out to be pretty unfounded as well (the things id assumed about him turned out to be incorrect after i got to know him better).I think you should just have fun and do what you want to do, when you are ready then you will just let it eventuate into something more

 

[jessicacissej]

haha yes.
i guess i've thrown away some decent prospective relationships thus far but theres some things you just dont want.
i guess its better being single than fooling yourself?
or are there some people out there who'll tell me dating as many people as possible is the way to go? haha

I'm still single because I do the same thing.
I've tried dating heaps of people, it makes it harder for me personally; it's easier for me to date friends.