Pip Intro (1 Viewer)

[lukey15#]

HI IM CONFUSED WITH MY PIP WOULD ANY BODY BE ABLE TO HELP ME WITH WETHER OR NOT THIS IS SUITABLE AS AN INTRO OR HOW CAN I MAKE IT BETTER AND WHAT HAVE I LEFT OUT. THANKS.

Topic- Equal opportunity in sport on the levels of gender, age, physical, race, political advantages.
Hypothesis- “Is all sport a level playing field”

Introduction-
The central focus of my Personal Interest Project is equal opportunities associated within sport worldwide. Societies and Cultures all over the world for decades have participated in sporting activities were people interact with each other wether it be socially, competitively or for pleasure. It brings together people worldwide to interact and enjoy it.
Who would have thought sport would have developed into a playing field which is unequal? Wether it be political advantages in which people have in sport as to who they know or what there last name is. Or be due to there racial background whether or not they have the right background to determine whether they have the same opportunities. Or depending on there age.Gender discrimination is common, male competitors in many sports are given lucrative wages or sponsorship deals compared to options available for women. Or maybe even physical advantages may play a huge role in having equal opportunities in participating in sport. All of these focus areas of my pip are central issues within alot of societies and cultures.
The reason I chose this topic as my Personal Interest Project is because I have an interest and desire in sport. Also there is a variety of opinions and research sources on this topic. And most importantly because of personal experience and the desire to learn more about discrimination in sport.

 

[Kulazzi]

wether = whether

Wether it be political advantages

Whether it would be.......

or what there last name is

due to there racial

etc. etc.

their

alot

a lot

Also there is a variety of opinions and research sources

are

Overall, I think it is ok, but you need to polish up your grammer. Everyone else would probably pick out more stuff than I did.

 

[Survivor39]

I am not going to comment on your grammar as Kulazzi has already done a pretty good job.

Few things to note:
- You need to introduce your cross cultural perspective. Where is it?
- How is doing this topic contribute to your understanding to the study of Socierty and Culture?
- Have you effectively covered the fundamental concepts in your Introduction? that is, comment on how your topic conceptually relate to societies, persons, cultures, environment across time.
- introduce your approach of Social and Cultural research methodologies. Where are they?

These points are crucial for the inclusion of your Intro. Ultimately the markers will base on these to give you a mark for your Intro. A bad intro mark will unlikely to result in a high overall mark.

 

[Kulazzi]

I've found some stuff on what to write in the intro from the Culturescope Mag Vol. 6 April 2005, our teacher photocopied it for us.

Guide To The Writing Of The PIP
​

Kevin Steed
Head Teacher Commercial Studies
St Marys Senior High School

Introduction

First Paragraph

• What is your PIP about and why did you choose the area of enquiry?

Second Paragraph

• What is your central hypothesis? ie what are you setting out to prove via this research?

Third Paragraph

• What methodologies have you employed in this research and why?
  
• Justify your selection of research toolds - what are their advantages and why are they best suited to your research topic?

Fourth Paragraph

• Explain how your PIP ivestigation will address the cross cultural component
  
• Remember to explain how this cross-cultural perspective will allow you (the reasearcher), to empathise (identify) with the "other"
  
• Also remember to explain how this cross cultural study presents you with a view that is beyond your normal realm of experience

Fifth Paragraph

• This paragraph should allow you to round off the introduction.
  
• It should also explain how this PIP "journey" will enhance both your investigative skills and your socio-cultural literacy

 

[Survivor39]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kulazzi again.

 

[soulshine]

don't you have to talk about the course concepts in the intro too?

 

[Kulazzi]

Here's some more, continued on from intro:


Central Material (CM)

1. Create around 6 (more if that is appropriate to your topic) focus questions that you would like your hypothesis/research to answer. Use these as major headings or chapter titles throughout your CM.
   
2. Go through the syllabus systematically and select all of the relevant course themes that relate to your PIP. Ensure that you ”weave” these into sentences and paragraphs that eventually make up your CM – remember that your PIP should read like ”read” like Society and Culture!
   
3. Always try to blend (synthesise) both primary and secondary data throughout each section of your CM. Where possible, try to support your primary findings with the work of other researchers (secondary resources). Synthesis is the hallmark of a band 5/6 student!
   
4. Ensure that you source all information via footnote (even if it is from your primary research). Source all of your primary research to your appendix items (include the exact appendix page number via your footnote).
   
5. Place all quotes from questionnaires/focus groups/interviews etc. in italics and source them.
   
6. Do not insert photos, graphs or diagrams unless you intend explaining and analysing them (otherwise place these into the appendix and simply refer to them via the footnote).
   
7. When you quote your statistical findings in the CM, always try to explain what social and cultural forces were at work to produce that data. Remember, the examiner is looking to see if you are attempting to analyse (make a judgment) this data.
   
8. If you attempt to analyse your findings throughout the PIP, your marks starts to trend upwards into the Band 5 range (ie 19-24 marks). If you simply describe your findings, your mark will never move out of the Band 3 mark range (ie 13-18 marks) because of its descriptive nature.
   
9. Always have a copy of the HSC PIP marking guidelines beside you as you write the CM (you can find it here). Focus specifically on the 25-30 (Band 6) mark range. There are not secrets to the marking process. If you adhere to these guidelines, you should score in that mark range (assuming of course, that you express yourself clearly, concisely and utilise the relevant course themes and concepts).
   
10. Always show your work to your teacher to obtain constructive feedback. It’s also a good idea to get others to read your work (Mum, Dad and friends). They will pick up spelling errors, poor grammar etc. and will also provide a litmus test for how clearly you have expressed your ideas.
    
11. Be prepared to rework your CM many times. Every sentence and paragraph should be crafted to ensure that it delivers a powerful socio-cultural message.
    
12. As you write, constantly ask yourself, Is this section I’m writing helping me to prove my hypothesis? If the answer is no, then what you are writing is just meaningless padding. It helps you to meet the word limit, but does nothing for your research.
    
13. Also try to ensure that you carefully craft the concluding sentences of each sub-heading so that it ”leads” into the next section of your PIP. By doing this, you create a smooth flow of thoughts and ideas throughout the entire PIP response. Remember, it’s all about continuity and integration!
    
14. Always be on the look out for information pertaining to your PIP topic. Read the newspaper every day. Place them on your favourites file re your home computer; visit the school library; browse quality bookshops; check out www.amazon.com for book titles; read the weekly TV guides; watch and listen to the ABC; regularly check the ABC website (especially ABC On-line). In short, become even more socially literate!
    
15. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to plagiarise information. Various internet searches are undertaken as a matter of course at the Marking Centre. This is especially true of work that reads/sounds as though it were produced from an academic source.
    
16. Finally, immense yourself in your research. Enjoy the process, become expert, and grow as a person!

Writing a PIP Conclusion

First Paragraph

• What did you learn as a consequences of your chosen social investigation?

Second Paragraph

• Did your research prove the hypothesis that you established for your enquiry? If not, why not?

Third Paragraph

• How effective were your research tools?
• How appropriate were they with the advantage of hindsight?
• Did they work? Why?

Fourth Paragraph

• If you were to undertake this research again, what changes would you make to both your research methodology and process? Why?

Fifth Paragraph

• How has this research enhanced your social literacy?
• How have you grown as an individual and researcher because of the PIP experience?

That’s all everyone, hope you make the most out of these guidelines.

Edit: Can this be stickied please?

 

[Kulazzi]

don't you have to talk about the course concepts in the intro too?

I guess you have to "weave" them in the CM - not talk about them directly. Look at the post above, this is what I got on how to write a fantastic PIP and to get a band 5/6

 

[lukey15#]

hows this

How is this is this a better introduction i will worry about grammer later.

Topic- Equal opportunity in sport on the levels of gender, age, physical, race, political advantages.


Introduction

First Paragraph
• What is your PIP about and why did you choose the area of enquiry?
The central focus of my Personal Interest Project is inequalities within sport. Sport is an important institution in many societies. Many people consider sport as a conservative institution that reflects the values of the most powerful members of society.
Internationally the sporting field is an avenue of equal opportunity the so called level playing field no matter what colour your skin is just talent competing one on one team against team. Is that the playing field we see? I don’t think so as sport has become more professional it has brung along with it many un equal oppprtunities. Such as political advantages in which people have in sport as to who they know or whether or not they have the right last name. Or be due to there racial background whether or not they have the right background to determine whether they have the same opportunities. Or depending on there age. Gender discrimination is common, male competitors in many sports are given lucrative wages or sponsorship deals compared to options available for women. Or maybe even physical advantages may play a huge role in having equal opportunities in participating in sport. All of these focus areas of my pip are central issues in the International sporting arena.

The reason I chose this topic as my Personal Interest Project is because I have an interest and desire in sport. Also there is a variety of opinions and research sources on this topic. And most importantly because of personal experience and the desire to learn more about discrimination in sport.

Second Paragraph
What is your central hypothesis? ie what are you setting out to prove via this research?
My central hypothesis is “is all sport a level playing field” In my Pip I am setting out to prove through reseach that within sport there is various inequalities usually involving a form of discrimination against a person or group.

Third Paragraph
• What methodologies have you employed in this research and why?
• Justify your selection of research tools - what are their advantages and why are they best suited to your research topic?
The methodologies both qualitative and quantitatve in which I have employed in my research in order to obtain primary data are firstly, a focus group involving five people’s opinion on the main topics e.g. political advantages, age, gender, physical, race. Secondaly, I interviewed, surveyed and questioned a range of people involved in sport for example players, spectators and coaches. Some of these people included the Australian Matildas soccer team and coach Allan Santrac, five Aboriginal elite soccer players, peers, six local rugby league players and a local netball team. Aswell as sent them overseas to Auburn University in America to be completed. Thirdly, questionaires are included in above interviews. Fourthly, Surveys conducted were both open and closed ended questions for example (Y,N). Surveys also included in interviews. Fifthly, observation and participant observation I went and observed Sydney United Soccer Club who are ethnically based. Found out that seven out of eight coaches involved in the club were of Croation background also majority of players in the club were of Croation background aswell. Similar results were shown through Bonnyrigg White Eagles a Serbian based club. And Marconi Stallions an Italian Based club. This methodology showed me that there is many politics within sport in Australia. Finally personal reflection through personal experience I have seen inequalities in sport e.g. people being picked for sports due to there physical size, age, gender, and political advantages.
The reasons why I choose these methodologies is because they gave me various views and opinions.


Fourth Paragraph
• Explain how your PIP ivestigation will address the cross cultural component
• Remember to explain how this cross-cultural perspective will allow you (the reasearcher), to empathise (identify) with the "other"
• Also remember to explain how this cross cultural study presents you with a view that is beyond your normal realm of experience
My PIP investigation will address the cross cultural component through contrast and compare between my perspective of racism in sport to the perspective of African American elite sports players in America at Auburn University. This cross-cultural study presents me with a view which I is well beyond my normal realm of experience within these inequalities involved in sport.

Fifth Paragraph
• This paragraph should allow you to round off the introduction.
• It should also explain how this PIP "journey" will enhance both your investigative skills and your socio-cultural literacy
My pip “journey” will enhance both my investigative skills so I can continue in life to use various research tools and methodologies in order to learn certain things. It will also enhance my socio-cultural literacy.

 

[lukey15#]

can somebody explain these points for me thankyou.
????????????????????????????
1) how much should you talk about your methodolgies in your introduction for each one do you have to right why you used it.?????????????
2)How is doing this topic contribute to your understanding to the study of Socierty and Culture?
3)Have you effectively covered the fundamental concepts in your Introduction? that is, comment on how your topic conceptually relate to societies, persons, cultures, environment across time.

4)It should also explain how this PIP "journey" will enhance both your investigative skills and your socio-cultural literacy
5)Remember to explain how this cross-cultural perspective will allow you (the reasearcher), to empathise (identify) with the "other"

 

[xanthanotus]

have you had a chance to read past pips, (with a knowledge of what marks they got). i like you was stumped with the introduction, and found after reading a few i had a far better idea as to what was expected, especially when you compare between different ones.

 

[xanthanotus]

heres my pip introduction, my teacher (a past pip marker) gave it 98% after reading, and my actual submitted pip received an estimated mark of 29/30. if you read this and then look at the points you posted, i think you should be able to apply the all in here some where to some extent.




In Australia, the role of primary carer in the family, through out history has been designated solely for women, it was expected that women would give up their carers to raise a family, when that time came, my mother did it, and her mother did it, and this trend was continued back through out our family history.

I personally though want it all, I want the family and the career and as selfish as it may sound I don’t want to place my career on ice to begin the adventure of starting a family. So the other most likely option would be to place the child in day care, would it not?
Maybe five years ago this would have been the case, but in 2003 it is not uncommon to see a father, tending to a child in a pram, or trying to control the dripping mess of a toddler trying to devour an ice cream nearly the same size as it.

My objective through my research is to discover why new fathers are choosing to give up their careers and take on the role as the primary career in their family.

My cross cultural comparison is between dads who chose to stay at home and become the primary carer and dads who chose to continue working.
I will also be looking at statistics and fathers from the 1970’s and 80’s to achieve an understanding of past perceptions of stay at home dads in Australia, and then look at young males, who will become the future dads of Australian society, so consequently time will make up a second smaller cross cultural comparison.

My PIP topic is associated to Society and Culture through clear conceptual relations. Concepts such as beliefs, change, family, gender, society, stereotypes, role, time, and values will be explored in the course of my project.

To come to a concise conclusion, I plan to use a range of methodologies ranging from interviews to content analysis.
Interviewing will form the basis of my research. In choosing interviewees they will fall in the brackets of either, new dads remaining at home as the primary carer, dads who remain working, and fathers from the 1970’s and 80’s. Through the use of surveys, I plan to question males aged 19 to 29 with no children at present, this will form the basis of my probable scenario, I also plan to survey people in my local community to see how they view stay at home dads, and their situation.
Through content analysis I will look at a range of different media types including TV shows, newspapers, magazines and the Internet, to see how they portray stay at home dads. Some of this will also form the base of my secondary research.
Through the use of statistical analysis, I will be able to examine trends within Australian society, and also look at future possibilities.

At the completion of this project I anticipate to reach a better understanding for why this option is becoming an increasingly popular alternative for new families, in contemporary Australia.

 

[Kute_Princess]

hyey ur intro soundz awsome... im freaking a little though. i know there is a post on this somewhere but, seeing as you went so well in your PIP i thought id ask u. Does the whole pip get written in 1st person? I wrote mine in 3rd person.... lol now im a tad freaked

 

[Kulazzi]

Are you including personal reflection/participant observation in your PIP? If you are, then you would have to write in first person otherwise it would sound wonkatated.

Get someone else to read it and see if they understand.

 

[xanthanotus]

haahaa i wrote my intro in first person and the majority of my central material in 3rd person, i initially attempted to write it in first person but it didnt sound right is some places. my conclusion was in first person/3rd person, i found mine changed depending on what i was actually writing about, alot of the research was explained in 3rd person, but it is necessary to talk about your self, and i found it easier to write these aspects in first person.

the class on the whole and past pips i read (a hell of a lot) all differed, some combined both, some used only first person or 3rd person. i think it just what you feel comfortable writing.

as long as you get across the personal aspect, you shoudl be fine.

 

[Kulazzi]

haahaa i wrote my intro in first person and the majority of my central material in 3rd person

That's what seems to be happening to me too! Except for the parts where I include personal reflection. It will just happen naturally.

 

[Kute_Princess]

okay so like... i havent really even got half way thru or nething haha yer i succccckkkkkkkk anyway... my topic is santa .. i hav no personal reflection 4 this? do u hav 2....wat do i reflect on?? infact, i havnt really used and primary info. thats guna b a problem huh ? lol

 

[Kulazzi]

my topic is santa .. i hav no personal reflection 4 this? do u hav 2....wat do i reflect on?? infact, i havnt really used and primary info. thats guna b a problem huh ?

you don't have to. But you could talk about your belief in Santa when you were little only to realise by 12 years of age that santa wasn't real. Or when your parents told you. etc. etc. Basically your experiences and stuff.

You really don't have to but if you think it will help you in your PIP - eg. understanding the concept of Santa being real/not real- then feel free to do so.

 

[white_spazzy]

is there anyone who can give a difinitive answer regarding the form in which you write the PIP intro?
i wrote mine in first person, and had two people check over it who didnt see it as a problem and one who did and thinks i should write it in 3rd person?
which is the correct way?

 

[xanthanotus]

there is no right or wrong way to write it, either first or 3rd or a combination of the both is fine, as long as you cover the objectives you will be fine regardless of the approach you take.