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Please analyse story (2 Viewers)

hayabusaboston

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
2,387
Location
Calabi Yau Manifold
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Male
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2013
Hey guys, would anyone be interested in analysing the first bit of my creative piece? Want some opinions on my style of writing, shitty, unsophisticated, elegant, awesome, pathetic etc... whatever you think. Anyone wanna help?
 

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