Please check my Thesis. (1 Viewer)

Snickerhead

New Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2010
Messages
4
Gender
Male
HSC
2010
A sense of belonging plays a significant role in both creating an identity for an individual and shaping their character.

This is supposed to cover two related texts and be flexible enough for the unkown exam essay question.
My two related texts is a picture book titled "Belonging" by Jeannie Baker and "Sweeney Todd" by Tim Burton. Focus topic is Romulus.


Please comment/suggest/improve/reword. Much appreciated.
 

nutman

New Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
21
Gender
Male
HSC
2010
Your thesis sounds good man
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Sadiah

Member
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
989
Location
In a world beyond yours.
Gender
Female
HSC
2009
A sense of belonging plays a significant role in both creating an identity for an individual as well as shaping their character.

This is supposed to cover two related texts and be flexible enough for the unkown exam essay question.
My two related texts is a picture book titled "Belonging" by Jeannie Baker and "Sweeney Todd" by Tim Burton. Focus topic is Romulus.


Please comment/suggest/improve/reword. Much appreciated.
Whichever suits you best. :)
 

thongetsu

Where aren't I?
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
1,883
Gender
Male
HSC
2010
IMO it's a bit too specific with the identity and character shaping. What if the question is about relationships or acceptance or communities?
 

Snickerhead

New Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2010
Messages
4
Gender
Male
HSC
2010
IMO it's a bit too specific with the identity and character shaping. What if the question is about relationships or acceptance or communities?
Its going to cover my two texts and romulus which mainly focus on the shaping of the character. and the question would not specificly ask about types of belonging, it has to be general.
 

William kamel

Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Messages
279
Gender
Male
HSC
2009
A sense of belonging plays a significant role in both creating an identity for an individual and shaping their character.

This is supposed to cover two related texts and be flexible enough for the unkown exam essay question.
My two related texts is a picture book titled "Belonging" by Jeannie Baker and "Sweeney Todd" by Tim Burton. Focus topic is Romulus.


Please comment/suggest/improve/reword. Much appreciated.
This is not really a thesis, it's not even specific at all, it's actually really vaig, you need to elaborate more as in thesis terms, in order to make ur argument/essay solid.Like for example why does a sense of belonging create an identity....etc for the inidividual. Once u have made that extra statement then ur fine to go.

I know coz, this was exactly how I wrote my essays last year at the start of the HSC. This will be the best advice u'll get, coz I only learnt it just b4 my half yearlies. Many students fail to fully understand this until the trials come.
 

Snickerhead

New Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2010
Messages
4
Gender
Male
HSC
2010
This is not really a thesis, it's not even specific at all, it's actually really vaig, you need to elaborate more as in thesis terms, in order to make ur argument/essay solid.Like for example why does a sense of belonging create an identity....etc for the inidividual. Once u have made that extra statement then ur fine to go.

I know coz, this was exactly how I wrote my essays last year at the start of the HSC. This will be the best advice u'll get, coz I only learnt it just b4 my half yearlies. Many students fail to fully understand this until the trials come.

Well I thought of that too, but i need it to be general so I can adapt to any question thrown at me. Aren't thesis statements only supposed to be one line? clear and conscise?
 

student6625

Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2010
Messages
98
Location
Sydney
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2010
Well I thought of that too, but i need it to be general so I can adapt to any question thrown at me. Aren't thesis statements only supposed to be one line? clear and conscise?
A thesis is a clear statement that is referring to/giving your opinion on the question.

1) Basically, you state your thesis which changes depending on what question you get asked,

2) then you write briefly about YOUR own understanding on the concept of belonging (taken from the rubric).

3) After that, you discuss the ideas about belonging evident in your prescribed & related text (3 is best).

4) When you've done that, link these ideas back to the question i.e. how do these ideas support the question being asked.

5) Now you begin the analysis of your text. It's something like

-Idea 1 about belonging
-How its demonstrated in the prescribed text
-How its demonstrated in your related text/s
-Link back to question

6) Repeat the same for each idea until you finish your analysis.

7) Conclusion, state each idea once again and how they relate to the question.

That's pretty much how you can adapt your generic essay to any question being asked. Just make sure you somehow link your analysis and ideas back to the question. They don't need to be changed completely for every question, just slightly altered.
 

nutcracker

Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2009
Messages
351
Location
the restaurant at the end of the universe.
Gender
Female
HSC
2010
Its going to cover my two texts and romulus which mainly focus on the shaping of the character. and the question would not specificly ask about types of belonging, it has to be general.
The question could very well ask about more than just identity. They could easily ask you to talk about relationships, places, experiences, etc. If you just focus on identity, not only in your thesis, but also throughout your whole essay, you could get into trouble =/ I suggest you broaden your focus.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top