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PLEASE read extension 2 major work and reflection statement. I need this!!! (1 Viewer)

wogboy23

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Guys, leave me your thoughts on my major work and reflection statement attached thanks!
It would mean a lot to me as I'm currently assisting someone doing the course.
I submitted it as my HSC major work this year to BOS, but am unsure on where I need to improve etc and what I need to teach.
My teacher has told me its' alright, but hasn't given many recommendations - I ended up with 22/25 for the major and 19/20 for reflection statement (yes, I know the proportionate weightings are all over the place)
Could someone please tell me which mark bracket both fall in? (hopeful for E4!!!)
View attachment Ext 2 major work FINAL1.doc
My reflection statement
[FONT=&quot]Reflection Statement:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The major work I have undertaken examines the interplay of scientific and imperial romanticism in H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine (1895)and The War of the Worlds (1898). A critical study through research and independent investigation has provided an invaluable insight intoWells’ vision for humanity as depicted in his work. His insights and arguments on science and imperialism, expanded, modified and reshaped in these works continue to provide critical and contextual frameworks for a wide range of scholars in modern and post-modern literature. As a result, this study has allowed for a greater understanding of theorists’ perspectives in these texts and an appreciation for the ideas and values represented.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Progress of the composition of the Major Work and originality: [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I chose my major work as I believed it would be challenging and motivating to demonstrate my interest in historical Victorian ideologies and values concerning science and imperialism. In strengthening my critical response, my extensive research and commitment has seen my major work completed. This progress has been successfully achieved through the layout of my major work, as shown for example by the subtitle, Imperialist and Scientific Romanticism—A complex form of parody? After much amending, this argument voices Wells’ scientific ideas of eugenics, time and the Romantic evocation of society’s over-reliance on technology. This is represented in combination with imperialist connotations of racial superiority and colonialism paralleling the ethical corollaries it poses for humanity. These key ideas underpinned by the recurring motif of the vestiges of humanity highlight this originality in projecting concerns for the loss of individuality. This impels Wells’ audience to look back on its society and reassess pre-conceived social and cultural values to strive for a good, stable future. Hence, the dynamic conventions of the science fiction/romance genre have allowed this originality of Wells’ complex perspective on humanity’s future.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Impact of aspects of the independent investigation (texts and individuals) on the development and structure of the Major Work:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The impact of research on key aspects of my major work is conveyed through its systematic structure in cementing Wells’ contextual frameworks and insights into science and imperialism. The impact of my research is underpinned by my representation of Wells’ revolutionary medium and critical lens of satire. Thus, this validates the extended metaphor of the vestiges of humanity in cautioning against the negative impacts of science and imperialism. This is embodied by concerns of technological expansion and Holmsten’s primary concern of the anthropocentric presumptions of man explored in both texts. The direct impact this has had on my research is sustained by the Romantic emphasis against the scientific rationalisation of nature and the Modernist principles of eugenics against racial inferiors in order to simulate “a world where the elites of the future will kill off the deceased, ill-informed or unintelligent members of the human race.” (Achenbach ref 1 pg. 123) [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Significantly, it is clear the research process is paramount in deriving the vision and conclusions of H.G. Wells through the interplay of imperialist and scientific romanticism. This is concluded by the Wellsian Symbols of Demise. This subtitle portrays the egalitarian principles of physiognomy in condemning the antagonist. It also portrays the omnipotent force of the Sun as both a symbol of demise under the “absolute black skies and abominable desolation” expressed in The Time Machineand hope. In effect, Wells’ figurative language, coupled by theoretical readings of Philmus and Berger, credit Wells’ overall cynical attitude toward a stable future. This is hardened by Wells unable to reconcile the competing images and contextual concerns of science and imperialism clearly. Rather, as a consequence to this dilemma, Wells almost affirms a bleak-apocalyptic vision through the existential dread of “some black star infecting all the Skies.” (Astraea Redux 111-14) This reinforces Wells’ overall sceptical outlook on man’s progression, should these unchecked values continue.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Concept of the Major Work and links to the English course:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The lengthy creation process has allowed for an articulation of key ideas and sub-headings, adding authority to my concept of this imperialist and scientific interplay, enmeshed among conflicting Romantic and Modernist contexts. My major work in direct correlation to the science fiction genre of the Year 12 Extension 1 course is supported by the intertextual concerns of the loss of individuality and redundancy of the unique ‘human’ self. This influence is exemplified by the consolidated irony in H.G. Wells’ texts, depicted further by the Bokanovsky Process as the “major instrument of social stability,” in Brave New World (1932).The Advanced English Preliminary study of Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe (1719), has also stressed the significance of the beginnings of imperialism and nascent capitalism, adopted and extended in both H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine and The War of the Worlds.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In essence, these transitions incisively display the structure of the major work highlighting paradigm shifts through different mediums and values. This reflects universality respective to context, as studied in the Advanced HSC course by the comparative study of Frankenstein (1831) and Blade Runner (1982). The later study of the Advanced course, has also revealed the links of my major work to the History and Memory module. This is revealed by the interlocking relationships reflected in the interplay between scientific and imperialist concerns, as in the nature of History and Memory. The scientific fear of eugenics, entwined by the imperial concern of industrialisation holistically broadens ones understanding of human experiences. In effect, this interplay adds greater emphasis to Huxley’s liberal humanism of the Utopic/Dystopic tradition, strikingly mirroring War of the Worlds.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]““Brave New World” is a fantastic parable about the dehumanisation of human beings. In the negative described in my story, man has been subordinated to his own inventions. Science, Technology, Social Organisation, these things have ceased to serve man; they have become his masters.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Reflection on the planning and processes of the Major Work and final achievement of the Major Work:[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The production of my major work has seen the documentation of the core interplay of imperialism and scientific romanticism I wish to present. Reflecting on the processes achieved, despite a lengthy period of stagnant research due to time management issues I am satisfied with my critical work’s articulation of H.G. Wells’ satiric eugenic and colonial concerns in both texts. This was particularly difficult due to the interaction of these concepts explored from different angles and the perspectives of my theorists, thus gradually but effectively shaping H.G. Wells’ complex vision for the future. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In order to crystallise the vision I had for my major work, my drafts needed to be amended. This is depicted by my ideas being densely expressed, but also the need to balance my argument more strongly, as conveyed by more textual depth and close referencing to The War of the Worlds. I have acted on this feedback by more clearly refining my ideas in developing a stronger response allowing the reader to understand the intended aims of my major work. The dynamic ‘Well’ of satire has successfully taken shape.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Therefore, the impact of the independent investigation has allowed for a key insight into the interplay of imperialism and scientific romanticism Wells assesses in The Time Machine and The War of the Worlds. An in-depth and edifying study has revealed an appreciation for Wells’ ideas and values in my major work. Thus, these enduring contextual paradigms surface this impetus for change, embedded within and beyond the ‘Well’ of satire. [/FONT]
 

wogboy23

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Did you seriously write your RS in Report form?
My English Extension 2 teacher (marker of the subject as well) said that was good -we changed the RS sooo many times - structure and content
 

firstneg

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I have honestly never, ever, ever seen that done before. Even in my report assessment task I did not use subheadings and I received 20/20 from my teacher, likewise an EE2 marker. I would constructively tell you that it breaks the 'flow' of the RS, although this isn't early August so it really doesn't matter.
I am mentoring three people, and have basically told them not about my flaws, but the process needed to avoid such obvious flaws such as lack of clarity derived from not enough time editing.
Perhaps you could work from this slant rather than relying on your own work?

I also did a critical and if you are interested in reading it you are more than welcome, just tell me.

Plus this should be in the EE2 forum and not general discussion.
 

wogboy23

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I have honestly never, ever, ever seen that done before. Even in my report assessment task I did not use subheadings and I received 20/20 from my teacher, likewise an EE2 marker. I would constructively tell you that it breaks the 'flow' of the RS, although this isn't early August so it really doesn't matter.
I am mentoring three people, and have basically told them not about my flaws, but the process needed to avoid such obvious flaws such as lack of clarity derived from not enough time editing.
Perhaps you could work from this slant rather than relying on your own work?

I also did a critical and if you are interested in reading it you are more than welcome, just tell me.

Plus this should be in the EE2 forum and not general discussion.
Hmm, thanks for that. I was going to put this in the EE2 forum, but was afraid it would subsequently leave it unattended. I thought noone would read it.
I've seen a few peoples reflection statement from previous years who did quite well using subheadings. I hope it doesn't affect my mark too greatly though, but we shall see.
I wouldn't mind reading your work, but I would also like to know how I could improve mine.
Seeing as you were clearly an exceptional student in the course, would you be able to tell me in which band (or marking range/bracket) my MW and RS statement falls in (perhaps for the RS discounting the subheadings because I do think they work)
 

firstneg

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I wouldn't say that I was 'exceptional', I think I just picked a topic that my teacher enjoyed. I just 'played the game' as they say.

I would make an informed guess that you would definitely be in the E4 range, because I have seen a lot of crud that has gotten an E3. I seriously think people that get <35 must not have the true aptitude for the course, pulled an all-nighter or just couldn't be bothered. Someone at my school in the '10 cohort used the wrong their/there/they're and you/you're all through his work and still managed to pull a 37.

So don't worry about your work and reflect on your process to help your other person!

I read your work and just assumed that you wanted to focus on many different theses rather than the one? It isn't really clear in your RS
 

wogboy23

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I wouldn't say that I was 'exceptional', I think I just picked a topic that my teacher enjoyed. I just 'played the game' as they say.

I would make an informed guess that you would definitely be in the E4 range, because I have seen a lot of crud that has gotten an E3. I seriously think people that get <35 must not have the true aptitude for the course, pulled an all-nighter or just couldn't be bothered. Someone at my school in the '10 cohort used the wrong their/there/they're and you/you're all through his work and still managed to pull a 37.

So don't worry about your work and reflect on your process to help your other person!

I read your work and just assumed that you wanted to focus on many different theses rather than the one? It isn't really clear in your RS
Thanks for that. Yay, at least it's not 'crud'. We only had 3 people do the course and I came first in it. I hope to make an E4. Do you think maybe my RS might let me down. I thought it clearly stated my major work and its intentions. What do you think of my 'major work' itself? A possible mark perhaps?
hahahah, my teacher also told me I 'played the game' well :)
 

firstneg

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hmmm well in your RS, I have got to say that one crucial element is completely lacking. I assume that you never saw Tony Britten talk? Not only is he hilarious, but he really stressed the importance of audience. From what I can see here:
This impels Wells’ audience to look back on its society and reassess pre-conceived social and cultural values to strive for a good, stable future. Hence, the dynamic conventions of the science fiction/romance genre have allowed this originality of Wells’ complex perspective on humanity’s future.

this is your only mention of audience ( I even ctrl-f'd it). The use of audience is incredibly imperative! I had ten teachers mark my work and they all told how audience was the key in your RS as it underpins your understand of your concept.

ie this is my little bit on audience, it is fairly formulaic as it mentions where it would be hosted, which is absolutely crucial.

One of my purposes was to form a fresh academic viewpoint on Atwood’s work through the investigation into her female characterisation. As such, I understand the esoteric nature of my work. Therefore the ideal audience for my work is Atwood enthusiasts and those interested in representations of females. The structure of my essay into five separate sections is to allow it to be read in its entirety or for each of the separate novel entities to be hosted on a feminist pop-culture online magazine such as ‘Bitch Magazine'. After my mother’s book club was assigned Atwood’s The Year of The Flood, I can also envision my work being a supplement to book clubs, with the members generally in Atwood’s target audience of women in the Baby Boomer and X Generations.
 
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wogboy23

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:( *dies internally* *sobs*
I thought audience was underpinned in my major work, besides the statement you extracted. I thought audience was mentioned in my intro with modernist and post-modern literature then indirectly referenced through some of my critics perspectives and their quotes -Holmsten, Acheback and even Huxley
ahh I've stuffed it :(
I thought it was alright, seeing as how I got 19/20 for my RS first time around (the only recommendation was at times language control and my ideas needing to be at times less densely expressed) likewise for my major work. what did you think of the major btw? mark?
 

firstneg

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no, you basically have to spell it out like everything in English. It is unfortunate that you did not receive any annotated RSs that are linked directly to the EE2 syllabus
I have no idea in terms of marks, at all, sorry. Also I don't know how critical works align so a 45 could be impossible or go down to a 40. I cannot make an informed guess on marks, so I do not.
Do you really go to SBHS? I find it hard to believe that only three people did it...
 

wogboy23

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Nope, just put it there so people don't really know what school I go to. Thanks for all your input though. I appreciate it. I don't really know how to mentor my friend and help him though. I'm a bit confused. Do you think my major work and RS has E4 potential though??
 

firstneg

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I did actually say before that yes, I do believe that it has E4 potential. Stop worrying about it, you will know in less than two weeks.
 

wogboy23

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Thanks firstneg!
Any other opinions which I can take on boarD?
 

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