Prisoner To Parents 'Love'. (1 Viewer)

[tres bien]

No drinking
No drugs
No boyfriends
No going anywhere wthout prior permission
No sleep overs
No driving in cars with certain people
No holidays with friends
No doing anything you want to do.

I'm 20 and I used to have all of those rules enforced on me. One by one, some have been lifted. I don't want to drink or take drugs anyway, and I don't want to go to any sleep overs, but I can go to places, I think now I can have a boyfriend (as long as they approve of him...well I have to get married in the next 5 years!!) and I can go into cars with my friends.

I kind of understand what you're going through. You need to take baby steps to get each rule removed. You also need to tell them that you will be doing things, rather than ask them. For example: "I will be going to [some certain place] and I will be there until [some certain time + 1hour or so]. If you need anything, call me. If there are any change of plans, I will call you."

 

[aleachim]

Hey, I feel your pain. I'm not allowed sleepovers, holidays with friends (let alone seeing them too much in the holidays - mum wants me to study...), etc. and I was not allowed to date but reasoned with my dad. He'd rather I did not have a boyfriend but now realises good intentions are not always for the best. Parents impose all these rules on us becasue they are just being cautious - part of the job description!
I'd agree that you should negotiate and if that proves futile: rebel slowly... but don't take my word for it!

 

[テリー]

Seriously i think ur parents are doing what they think is the best for you, you're 18 already and they still think of you as a little kid? They want you to have a good life, yes, but when its overwhelming you should Talk to them! Be greatful you have parents like that (not saying you are not)
Think of it this way, your are a 18 year old girl who is in University and sooner or later you're going to bump into someone you'll fall in love with, if it gets serious, it can lead to commitment = move out with him -> marriage -> independent -> kids!! = your own family!!!
which means you'll move out of the and might even move overseas with the man. For parents (when you're the single child and girl), its like a "loss" because you move into the man's family and therefore inherit his last name and they can feel they've lost something in their life - YOU, the very child they brought up in the past 19 years
This could be the reason behind why your parents (esp. your father) wants to give you the most "love" (stacking you with physical goods) they can in that period of time. Also they asked for your respect? Yes but that isn't mean "obeying them", they want you take their advice seriously and thats a sign of how much they care about you, afterall you're their child (you'll always always be FOREVER AND EVER!!)
Like i said, talk to them, confront them and tell them what YOU want instead of what THEY want.
If this doesn't work.. belief me, it's time to move out and show them what you're capable of!

And as for myself, i'm 17 and i already have removed most of those rules in the rule book because i tell them what im capable of taking care of myself and my friends while im out with them and the least I do when i'm out is to tell them where im going and what im doing so they don't get pissed off at me when something happens

 

[P_Dilemma]

I HATE parents who treat their kids as if they were investments, not merely human.

-P_D

 

[テリー]

It's not their problem that you took it that way...

 

[poloktim]

Yes, the said it, No Bf's... um I'm basically Little Miss My-daddy-still-thinks-im-a-virgin.

You mean you're not?

 

[ybnormal]

no Exphate.
i have manged to gain more than three friends in my life. just have quite a few whose parents are very relaxed

 

[littlewing69]

Tell your parents they live in Australia now and to get with the program.

DING DING DING DING.


If that fails, give them back all the shit they've bought you, and go make it on your own. It's a big world out here.

 

[stazi]

ingoesout, out of interest, what nationality are your parents?

 

[.:BL4D3:.]

My dad is always like "Oh it's no use anymore, I've lost you" and yet he still tries, makes you think about the strategies he employs. I agree with banco, (yarrr, asian parents ftl) they should get with the program. Sorta hard for me though, still financially dependant on parents, that is, they won't let me get a job, how annoying. That and tutoring is taking all of my time.

Haha, Serius, you crack me up. I should try that...

 

[iambored]

For parents (when you're the single child and girl), its like a "loss" because you move into the man's family and therefore inherit his last name and they can feel they've lost something in their life - YOU, the very child they brought up in the past 19 years

since when? girls tend to stay closer to their parents than guys and also tend to 'run' the household so if anything it's the other way around.

ingoesout -

Seriously, they have sacrificed EVERYTHING to give me a good life, they have no life of their own, so to rebel would be to kill them.

And respect means OBEYING them.. unconditionally.

which is exactly why you have to work on changing the rules, one at a time, not rebelling.

No going anywhere wthout prior permission - start telling them what you're doing and start with the small things that they are comfortable with 'hey mum my friend and i were thinking of seeing a movie tonight at 8' eventually to 'hey mum i'm going to the movies with my friend tonight'

No drinking - do your parents drink any type of alcohol? if it's ever there or they offer it to you drink a little some so they get used to the idea.

No boyfriends - i think it's a matter of, when you meet the right person, tell them and introduce him to them

etc.

 

[aj_number_10]

my parents dont like me hammering bitches but theyv gotta see im young so i made it pretty clear a few years ago, i wasnt scared to do anything in front of them (accept sex) and for that they came pretty accepting of it.

they were always cool with alcohol and that

 

[iambored]

rofl me too, probably my favourite troll

 

[babydoll_]

I was in the same position as you, my parents were really strict for ages until and including the time I started uni. You have to push a little bit even if it makes them mad. Start with things like going out later and just push a little, so they can see that you have a life outside of them.

The drinking and drugs thing is quite reasonable though, I think.

 

[faintygirl83]

Start being more assertive with your parents! Tell them to stop throwing money at you all the time - its pretty crazy they bought a house for you for an 18th birthday present! Encourage them to spend money on themselves and let them know you don't want the whole world to revolve around you.

And if you want to pay your uni fees, pay them! Don't worry about what they say, just don't even mention it to them.

 

[chiselwick]

Yeah okay, being put under control and restricted can be really tough, but you've still manged to find ways to escape. It may not be my place to say...but have you ever considered how lucky you are? Seriously...not many 18 y.o. people already have a house in their name. They've paid for all your education costs...that's something I'd kill to have. I used to go to a private school... My parents let me go one condition: I get a scholarship and can pay off any costs that they charge. Yeah... I managed to keep it up for one year...then I moved schools.

But I agree....you should have a little more freedom.