Putting u'r parents in a nursing home.. or caring for them...!!! (1 Viewer)

[physician]

Do u think that as we become young men and women some of us husbands and wives.. that we should decide to put our parents in a nursing home.. or would u be one of those that look for a more reasonable and respective choice..?

our parents look after us when we're young.. feeding us.. bathing us... helping us to walk.. get on our feet.. making sure we are cared for in the best manner.. and keeping us safe...

when our parents become old.. some becoming grand parents... its like a switch around... most become helpess... unable to feed themselves.. some fall to sickness.. heart problems.. some are unable to walk... some become disabled mentally... all sorts of thing occur.... but most imnportantly if u look at a grandpaernt.. u will notice that some (not all) have become like children.. they are unable to feed themsleves.. and need someoine to do it for them..

Do u think its our responsiblity as the next generation.. to take care of our parents when they aren't able to do so themsleves.. or would u put ur parents in a nursing home...

Yes.. a nursing home does not mean u despise ur parents.. or that u've neglected them.. but should'nt we at least have a larger respect and tolerance.. as to take care of our parents oursleves...

I mean naturally.. a sane mother or father would love their child.. and would take care of them... but young men and women.. dont always repay the same gift to their parents...

A parent that has reached old age.. may not disagree if u tell them that u have decided to send them to a nursing home.. but deep down inside their heart will be broken.. wishing that u would 'personally' care for them....

what do u think?

 

[joujou_84]

omg id neva put my mum or dad in a nursing home.........thats so sad......i remember this old woman in the nursing home that was on my way to skool.......shed wave to me every morning.....and she always look so lonely and sad......and then one day she didnt wave......but yeh......evn if they were sick...id make sure i got them a nurse to take care of them at home.........parents take care of kids through thick and thin......them becoming sick is not an excuse to chuck them in a home......its a personal choice i guess......but i wouldnt do it....

 

[Kulazzi]

same joujou. We have three generations in our house. my grandparents from my dad's side lives with us. It's like a tradition or even a ritual. It's part of our religion, to take care of our parents when they grow old. To never neglect them or place in some nursing home. I would never put mine in a nursing home. And as joujou mentioned, a nurse. We have hired some people from a company to shower our grandparents because they can't do it themselves, and we can't do it for them, b/c obviously, we are too busy with our current lifestyle.

 

[Xayma]

Probably a nursing home. One that allows them to have some independance however, with the serviced apartments/flats.

I dont plan on having kids, and most likely won't have the time to look after my mother or father.

 

[Raiks]

My parents have actually told me they'd rather they be in a retirement home because they want my sister and I to live our own lives without the burden of having to look after them, our children as well as working. Plus retirement homes etc would easily surpass the level of care available in the home while also providing them a more social atmosphere.

Mum made the valid point which applies to the whole 'they looked after us as children, we should look after them as they grow older'... she made the point that they made the choice to have children and had the responsibility to care and nurture them, but the children never made the choice of having parents so the same responisibility shouldn't be extended to that situation. I'm not saying that as children, we should just leave our parents in a shithole wasting away the days, because I know personally I love my parents enough that I'll make an effort in helping them in their later years. It's just that parents shouldn't just place that expectation that their children will look after them as a given.

 

[Generator]

They should be more than fine living in suburbia/a coastal town... Their parents and grandparents managed to survive (or are still going strong), afterall.

I have been told that the only thing that I owe my mum and dad is thanks for what they have done (and will continue to do)... I am not in any sort of social or financial debt.

 

[Raiks]

They should be more than fine living in suburbia/a coastal town... Their parents and grandparents managed to survive (or are still going strong), afterall.

I have been told that the only thing that I owe my mum and dad is thanks for what they have done (and will continue to do)... I am not in any sort of social or financial debt.

That's the same with me. As long as I appreciate what they've given me, then they said they are happy... well except for the 20 grand I owe them of course

 

[mr EaZy]

thats cool, hmmmmmmmmm

id take care of em myself i reckon, like visit as regularly as possible and do the stuff we do now as a regular family. i think thats all i can say now

 

[hipsta_jess]

I volunteer in a day centre for the elderly and disabled, and until the beginning of '04, I was dead set against nursing homes, however, now, I see that sometimes there isn't a choice, theres times that if you truly loved your parents, and wanted them to recieve the best possible care, you would realise that you couldn't do it yourself, and would place them in a facility that would best take care of them.
That being said, a lot of the people in nursing homes and the like nowadays, I feel don't need to be there, but rather, partners/children/etc cannot be bothered to take care of them

 

[katie_tully]

I'd send my parents to a nursing home only when they become immobile, or need care that I cannot provide them. I'd also not just send them to any nursing home though, I'd make sure it was decent..

But then again, I always warn my parents.. Be nice, I'm picking your nursing home.

 

[Raiks]

There are many really nice retirement villages all over Sydney. Thats where my grandparents are and there isnt anything wrong with it.

As for my parnents I doubt, if had the means, that I would have them living in the street. But most people these days have money planned for retirement - unlike those of my grandparents generation.

Yeah, that's the big difference. People these days plan ahead so they can retire comforatably so the need for children to look after their parents when they grow old is a less common occurance.

 

[soha]

i would never put my parents in a nursing home
i feel the cycle changes..
they take care of you..then you take care of them

its probably the least you can do for them..after all they have done for you

 

[Ranger Stacie]

its easy to say "id never put my parents in a nursing home" but sometimes theres no other choice. My grandad has dementia, and has no idea who any of us are and has at one point actually threatened my dad with a knife, which is why he is in a nursing home..

 

[soha]

im not dissing ppl who put their folks in nursing homes
coz sum are good and some ppl actually like it there

they also have facilities and nurses and stuff that old ppl need
if i could i would take care of my parents
but i wouldnt just put them there for no reason.

 

[johnson]

i work in a nursing home so i have lots of mixed opinions about it..but basically i agree with hipsta jess. i would only put my mother in a nursing home if i really could not take care of her, i.e she has extreme dementia or needs pallitative care. life in a nursing home can be very depressing, depending on which specific one..i wouldn't recommend my one, but i probably shouldn't say which one i work at.

there are many residents whose children have more or less dumped them in there because they don't want anything more to do with them. about a quarter of our residents were't picked up even for christmas, which was very sad. but there's this one lady who treated her family real bad, she threw scalding hot tea over her husband's face, so her family had no choice but to put her in our place.

 

[katie_tully]

My mum worked in a nursing home. It was sad to see some oldies who were still there in the head and everything stuck in a home, with barely any visitations from family.
I wouldnt do that, it'd only be if my parents were no longer able to help themselves at all. By that I mean, if they were slightly immobile they can always get community nursing at their own house, things like that...
Nursing homes are pretty much the final straw

 

[johnson]

well yes, there are different levels of 'nursing home' anyway, there are self care units which are located on the same site as working nurses, there are hostels which are for level 4 to level 8 residents (i think) and the true nursing home is for level 1-3 patients who are in need of pallitative care or are immobile and need constant aide.

 

[MasterP]

I'll let my sister worry about all that. I don't think I'll care that much where they end up. I'll respect their personal wishes, I suppose.

I know I would detest being put in a home.

 

[katie_tully]

I'll be dead before I go into a nursing home.
Trust me. I'll make sure of it.

 

[MasterP]

I say the exact same thing.