Read my Section 2 (Creative) Response... (3 Viewers)

[Mellonie]

..........

loved first one,

second one didnt do it for me at all.... i mean so he just learnt nothing...
like so much "nothing" put me off

 

[nwatts]

loved first one,

second one didnt do it for me at all.... i mean so he just learnt nothing...
like so much "nothing" put me off

Haha... oh well.

Nothing isn't for everyone!

 

[arooshika...]

i like the first one but is it possible to write all that in 40mins? i can only write up to 800-1000 words in 40mins

 

[nwatts]

First one was done in the trial.

Second in 40mins here at home.

 

[Libbster]

i like the one about nothing, very creative!!! 14-15/15

 

[Vampire]

Yeh for the cretive writing section I think 800-1000 words is fine in 40 mins...different for the essays though.

 

[ishq]

9 times out of 10 my AOS essays have the thread "the journey is useless" and I get a 14-15/15. I'm not going to stop putting crap on the journey. It's getting me marks.

And I think you've missed the point. Go read some post-modern EE2 majors or pick up a socialist magazine and then read my little piece again. It's more a satire of post-modern literature than the journey. Read my last post to see what it has to do with the journey.

I've read nearly every one of the EE2 major works posted and can appreciate ... many ...of them. Not all - I think it has to do with choice and personal likes/dislikes too. Which is what I was referring to before - about satirising the Journey. But, if you've spoken with people from the Advice Line, then go for it!
I understand what you're doing. It's interesting. But - I dont know - maybe just not for me.

But the positive response is outnumbering the negative - so I'd say you're on the right track!

 

[Ghost1788]

that was boring...i only caught on to what was going on in the last 1/3 of the story...though when you finish you trully know how to finish..excellent ending..i'd comment on the rest but seeing as i didnt understand it ...my english is 'crap' especially when it comes to creative writing

 

[gorgo31]

I'd be careful with the "nothing" one. Yes, people have been postmodern and self-reflective in EE2. But this isn't EE2 - this is a simple writing exercise giving you the opportunity to demonstrate your knowedge, with creativity and orginality, about the concept of Journeys. I thought you sacrificed that for the sake of appearing clever, and I, personally, didn't really find it particularly original. If you were going to follow through and use something like this in the HSC, I'd suggest striking a balance between Journey content and technique. But I am a teenager with no more HSC marking experience than you. Best of luck with it

 

[Captain Gh3y]

Nothing will come of nothing.

Write again.

 

[Vampire]

hahaha well put...(1st one is awesome)

 

[meLoncoLLie]

nwatts, the first one is a good story, but personally, I think there's major flaw it in - the 'voice' is too 'blokey'. The sentences lack sensitivity. I'm not sure if I'm biased (since I know you're a guy), but maybe this is something worth considering.

 

[taco man]

*thumbs up* ur 1st story is excellent, I'm gona check out the 2nd one

 

[nwatts]

nwatts, the first one is a good story, but personally, I think there's major flaw it in - the 'voice' is too 'blokey'. The sentences lack sensitivity. I'm not sure if I'm biased (since I know you're a guy), but maybe this is something worth considering.

Well, considering i've shown this now to three people who don't know me at all, and who all thought I was female, I don't think you've got a great point.

"Growing up among the soft cheeks of my parents, and the bursting aromas of Nan’s green curries." <- what kind of hetrosexual male thinks like that? "Everyone needs to jam this fleeting time of day with as much as they can – to bask in the subtle icecream sky, to light their fires, to play one last time." <- Or that?

 

[Captain Gh3y]

He's right you know, even I'm more blokey than that, and I carry a handbag.

 

[meLoncoLLie]

Well, considering i've shown this now to three people who don't know me at all, and who all thought I was female, I don't think you've got a great point.

"Growing up among the soft cheeks of my parents, and the bursting aromas of Nan’s green curries." <- what kind of hetrosexual male thinks like that? "Everyone needs to jam this fleeting time of day with as much as they can – to bask in the subtle icecream sky, to light their fires, to play one last time." <- Or that?

Yes, from the story you can tell the narrator is a girl, but what I'm trying to say is, the sentences are too fast paced and I couldn't feel the sensitivity.

Please don't get defensive. I wasn't attacking you or anything, just wanted to offer my opinion.

 

[Haku]

Well, considering i've shown this now to three people who don't know me at all, and who all thought I was female, I don't think you've got a great point.

"Growing up among the soft cheeks of my parents, and the bursting aromas of Nan’s green curries." <- what kind of hetrosexual male thinks like that? "Everyone needs to jam this fleeting time of day with as much as they can – to bask in the subtle icecream sky, to light their fires, to play one last time." <- Or that?

was i one of the three privilidged to say that it was written by a girl?

well i loved ur second one especially the twist in the end. But i didn;t get the passionfruit thingy and poem. what is the feeling when u feel like a passionfruit?

 

[butterflybird]

holy crap! your first story is like exactly the same idea that i used in my trial story! nooooo my originality... shattered. the style, the form, the way it's structured... damn you *shakes fist* lol
on the other hand i like the second one, though the 'journey' is a wee bit abstract.

 

[kooltrainer]

i dun get it.. protagonist got raped yeh.. did jenny get raped as well

 

[sf_diegoxrock]

i would suggest you lengthen your story a bit.

oh, and i hope no one decides to steal your story for the HSC.