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Relationship Advice (1 Viewer)

AsuTeksu

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I’m curious as to whether this thread is alive and will receive a response.

There’s me and another person, let’s call them Nemo (why Nemo? no specific reason, just sounded ✨ snazzy ✨)

Nemo and I have been friends for nearly a year now. Nemo’s in Year 12, I’m in Year 11. We’re not together romantically and never have been, although, we have confessed feelings for each other but don’t want to rush into anything despite friends and others “shipping” us and encouraging a romantic relationship.

First I’ll provide a bit of context. I’m a person who thinks it is courtesy to reach out to someone when you haven’t heard from someone in a while, and I often expect the same in return because I believe that’s the bare minimum of a friendship. Nemo has a history of mental health problems; this comment will make sense later.

In saying that, I recently had a health scare which meant I didn’t contact Nemo for a good week and this follows from us contacting each other every day. As someone who spoke with Nemo every day, I would have expected that they would have reached out to ask if I was okay, and they didn’t.

I expressed my disappointment with Nemo, to which they said I don’t understand what they’re going through with the stress of HSC and the whole world against them. I agree with that, however, this is the second time this has happened. I find that when I “disappear from the face of the Earth” due to a health scare, when I return and ask why it is that Nemo didn’t reach out, they always say they haven’t been in the best place mentally.

What hurt the most is that Nemo’s told me “I love you” on so many occasions, but yet said that they don’t know what love is and never will. Of course, that made me realise, how can you say “I love you” if you don’t even know what love is? In that case, it’s just been a lie.

So I’d like to ask, as individuals on the outside of this situation, which one of us is in the wrong? Does it seem like a relationship worth keeping (and not necessarily in a romantic sense)?

Feel free to ask any questions for further clarification.

-3-
 

nsw..wollongong

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I’m curious as to whether this thread is alive and will receive a response.

There’s me and another person, let’s call them Nemo (why Nemo? no specific reason, just sounded ✨ snazzy ✨)

Nemo and I have been friends for nearly a year now. Nemo’s in Year 12, I’m in Year 11. We’re not together romantically and never have been, although, we have confessed feelings for each other but don’t want to rush into anything despite friends and others “shipping” us and encouraging a romantic relationship.

First I’ll provide a bit of context. I’m a person who thinks it is courtesy to reach out to someone when you haven’t heard from someone in a while, and I often expect the same in return because I believe that’s the bare minimum of a friendship. Nemo has a history of mental health problems; this comment will make sense later.

In saying that, I recently had a health scare which meant I didn’t contact Nemo for a good week and this follows from us contacting each other every day. As someone who spoke with Nemo every day, I would have expected that they would have reached out to ask if I was okay, and they didn’t.

I expressed my disappointment with Nemo, to which they said I don’t understand what they’re going through with the stress of HSC and the whole world against them. I agree with that, however, this is the second time this has happened. I find that when I “disappear from the face of the Earth” due to a health scare, when I return and ask why it is that Nemo didn’t reach out, they always say they haven’t been in the best place mentally.

What hurt the most is that Nemo’s told me “I love you” on so many occasions, but yet said that they don’t know what love is and never will. Of course, that made me realise, how can you say “I love you” if you don’t even know what love is? In that case, it’s just been a lie.

So I’d like to ask, as individuals on the outside of this situation, which one of us is in the wrong? Does it seem like a relationship worth keeping (and not necessarily in a romantic sense)?

Feel free to ask any questions for further clarification.

-3-
yall confessed ur love to each other and are friends? hows that work
 

carrotsss

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I’m curious as to whether this thread is alive and will receive a response.

There’s me and another person, let’s call them Nemo (why Nemo? no specific reason, just sounded ✨ snazzy ✨)

Nemo and I have been friends for nearly a year now. Nemo’s in Year 12, I’m in Year 11. We’re not together romantically and never have been, although, we have confessed feelings for each other but don’t want to rush into anything despite friends and others “shipping” us and encouraging a romantic relationship.

First I’ll provide a bit of context. I’m a person who thinks it is courtesy to reach out to someone when you haven’t heard from someone in a while, and I often expect the same in return because I believe that’s the bare minimum of a friendship. Nemo has a history of mental health problems; this comment will make sense later.

In saying that, I recently had a health scare which meant I didn’t contact Nemo for a good week and this follows from us contacting each other every day. As someone who spoke with Nemo every day, I would have expected that they would have reached out to ask if I was okay, and they didn’t.

I expressed my disappointment with Nemo, to which they said I don’t understand what they’re going through with the stress of HSC and the whole world against them. I agree with that, however, this is the second time this has happened. I find that when I “disappear from the face of the Earth” due to a health scare, when I return and ask why it is that Nemo didn’t reach out, they always say they haven’t been in the best place mentally.

What hurt the most is that Nemo’s told me “I love you” on so many occasions, but yet said that they don’t know what love is and never will. Of course, that made me realise, how can you say “I love you” if you don’t even know what love is? In that case, it’s just been a lie.

So I’d like to ask, as individuals on the outside of this situation, which one of us is in the wrong? Does it seem like a relationship worth keeping (and not necessarily in a romantic sense)?

Feel free to ask any questions for further clarification.

-3-
Your feelings are definitely valid, and I can see how it’d be really hurtful for someone to not care enough to send a message. Maybe this is bad advice but I feel like if you’re always the one starting convos (which seems likely if they didn’t message you at all over that week), I’d just let them be the one to start convos for a bit to see how it goes, because imo it’s not rlly healthy for one person to be carrying the relationship like that. It’s hard to say if the relationships worth keeping I feel like you’d be better off asking people irl that since they’ll know ur situation and the people better yk.
 

AsuTeksu

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yall confessed ur love to each other and are friends? hows that work
We didn't think an official relationship would really do anything for us. Nemo mentioned one time that they wanted to take me on a few dates first before actually asking me out, so I don't even know. Although, I feel that my feelings for Nemo are much stronger than theirs for me. Feels like they take things for granted sometimes.

im calling the police
Aha, Nemo's 17, I'm 16 so we're safe from Police for now 💀
 

AsuTeksu

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Your feelings are definitely valid, and I can see how it’d be really hurtful for someone to not care enough to send a message. Maybe this is bad advice but I feel like if you’re always the one starting convos (which seems likely if they didn’t message you at all over that week), I’d just let them be the one to start convos for a bit to see how it goes, because imo it’s not rlly healthy for one person to be carrying the relationship like that. It’s hard to say if the relationships worth keeping I feel like you’d be better off asking people irl that since they’ll know ur situation and the people better yk.
Thank you, @carrotsss, I'll do that

Nemo and I have common friends and Nemo's known to be "bad at responding." Their friends have told me not to take it personally, although, I find it odd they have time to online shop and scroll social media yet "not have the time" to spend a minute to send a message; maybe that's just me. I begin to question whether their feelings are genuine or not
 

carrotsss

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Thank you, @carrotsss, I'll do that

Nemo and I have common friends and Nemo's known to be "bad at responding." Their friends have told me not to take it personally, although, I find it odd they have time to online shop and scroll social media yet "not have the time" to spend a minute to send a message; maybe that's just me. I begin to question whether their feelings are genuine or not
Yeah there are definitely some people who aren’t great with responding (I’m not really great with responding myself tbh, I can get super distracted and in my own world) but ignoring you when they have feelings for you is definitely pretty weird
 

nsw..wollongong

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but wait am i the only one confused like if some guy deadass confessed their love to me id def ask what are we 💀 if we're not a couple how on earth would 'loving' each other be beneficial to either of us if its not for heartbreak ykwim
 

carrotsss

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but wait am i the only one confused like if some guy deadass confessed their love to me id def ask what are we 💀 if we're not a couple how on earth would 'loving' each other be beneficial to either of us if its not for heartbreak ykwim
nah but some people want to take it slow idk and also you get to continue that fun phase where u both clearly like each other but it’s not like guaranteed yet yk
 

AsuTeksu

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I take it you're assuming that I said "I love you," it was only Nemo, never felt comfortable saying it back 🥴
The fact Nemo said, "I love you" so early on was a bit of a red flag for me~
 

SadCeliac

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relationships in high school r just stupid ngl only the talking/middle ish phase is fun but otherwise its a waste of time like why r u doing this shi in high school
As someone in a healthy relationship I'm gonna disagree straight up. You have someone who you trust wholeheartedly who you can talk to about life and issues that you may not even want to discuss with other people, plus it's just an extra someone who sees you for you and not study study study (also like it's nice to have breaks in life from study)
 

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