Religion & Relationships (1 Viewer)

[iamsickofyear12]

That's pretty sad to hear, you wouldn't be with someone just because they had a different belief to you on the creation of the universe? (even though both ends have no evidence). Religion isn't something to be fearful of, can you understand that?

Good Luck.

It isn't that simple. Religion isn't just a belief. There are actions that go with it and that is where the problem is.

"even though both ends have no evidence" - I'm sorry but the burden is on religious people to prove there is a god, not the other way around.

 

[sam04u]

No, it's not just that. Religion isn't as simple as "the creation of the universe". With Religion comes a complete set of rules that the followers choose to follow, well, not rules...let's just call them guidelines and a different set of values that is influenced by their religion.
If our views opposed, then obviously we wouldn't get along, and if we don't get along...well, there's not much chance of a relationship, is there?

That's quite true. I'm curiois though, what views of yours are different to those which exist in religion? The heavy emphasis on restraint? I'm quite confused as to what would be a serious issue on views which exist in religion? Do you believe murder to be acceptable? Rape? (I've never really seen any religious few which conflicts with the sane), unless you support things like 'prostitution', and so forth. The only thing which 'could' be of concern is 'apostesy'.

I've noticed that alot of agnostic and atheist people are quite similar to Islamic people, as they're both quite logical. (It may not be your opinion but everyone is free to their own opinion).

Tell me some things which bother you in Islam, as an example. (Therefore I could see the 'differences' which you touch on in your response)

 

[PrettyVacant]

Do my morals have to conflict to those morals that religious folk follow in order for me to disagree with them?
I don't believe in a god, any god. And that would/has seemingly offended some religious people. The fact that people are religious doesn't offend me at all. I'm rather non-chalant about these things, I'm not going to argue with everyone who believes in god that they're wrong and evolution is the way to go.
Back to my morals...
Yes, I believe rape, murder etc are wrong, and I think prostitution exploits women.
I don't do "wrong" things that "non-religious" people are assumed to do. I'm pretty much morally sound (most of the time anyway) and I don't need religion to be a good person.
And I think religion just seems to cause so many problems- war etc.

 

[sam04u]

Do my morals have to conflict to those morals that religious folk follow in order for me to disagree with them?
I don't believe in a god, any god. And that would/has seemingly offended some religious people. The fact that people are religious doesn't offend me at all. I'm rather non-chalant about these things, I'm not going to argue with everyone who believes in god that they're wrong and evolution is the way to go.
Back to my morals...
Yes, I believe rape, murder etc are wrong, and I think prostitution exploits women.
I don't do "wrong" things that "non-religious" people are assumed to do. I'm pretty much morally sound (most of the time anyway) and I don't need religion to be a good person.
And I think religion just seems to cause so many problems- war etc.

It does, but really PV, I know you think you don't 'need anyone to tell you what to do', but many do. Infact alot of the morals which you believe have come from religion. (It might not seem so to you but it is the case).

I believe in religion and you don't do you honestly think that makes us incompatible? (before we even know one another?)

 

[PrettyVacant]

I think you're getting religion and civilisation mixed up. According to your posts in other topics, you seem to relate being non-religious and being immoral as the same thing. Non-religious people are immoral, they DO have inhibitions and they DO have values. It's all part of living in a civilised society where people do not kill/rape each other.
I'm not saying that someone being religious would make them incompatible with me. I'm simply saying that religion may be one obstacle (and in my P.O.V a rather sensitive obstacle) that could get in the way of sustaining a long-term relationship with somebody.
And your seemingly superior view of religious people over non-religious people would be something unappealing that would come from your religious background. Why would any religious person go out with me if they're constantly viewing themselves as superior and judging the way I've chosen to believe (or not believe)?
And the bottom line is, non-religious people do not have weaker moral fibres than those who are religious. That's a generalisation you don't want to be making.

 

[RTTTYTR]

Re: Inter-racial Relationships

There is a differenece between being Jewish and living in Israel. Those who are Jewish are from the religion. Those who live in Israel are not jewish, they are Israeli, and Jeudaism is the official religion not the name of those who live in the country.

Well aware of Israeli's being the nationality & Judaisim being the religion, but im also well aware of why the country & how it was established. As the "Jewish State" following the Holocaust. Is not the follower of Judaism a Jewish person?

 

[sam04u]

And the bottom line is, non-religious people do not have weaker moral fibres than those who are religious. That's a generalisation you don't want to be making.

I know that, I've always accepted that, but the truth is the 'moral' values which influence non-religious people are usually controlled by society. If something which is immoral now, becomes popularised by media, then slowly they will be influenced. In my opinion atheist/agnostic people, should gather psychologists, philosophers and psychiatrists, to formulate a 'code' by which all atheists should believe in. (as to cause consistency), so that there are safeguards in place.

Back to what you said, I don't really know, I don't think religious people are 'better' then non-religious people. I value people based on how logical they are. (You seem 'quite' logical)

 

[Not-That-Bright]

If something which is immoral now, becomes popularised by media, then slowly they will be influenced.

I don't think so, I think you'll find atheists/scientists/agnostics and skeptics are the sort of people that are usually against the grain when it comes to popular moral standards etc etc.

In my opinion atheist/agnostic people, should gather psychologists, philosophers and psychiatrists, to formulate a 'code' by which all atheists should believe in.

Well the code would be the scientific method, I think most atheists/agnostics/etc generally believe in the scientific method and materialism. That's our code, right there. I don't speak for all but I do believe I speak for most. Of course there will be disagreement, but you see... disagreement is a part of our code, it is what we value - the ability to disagree, argue and admit when you are wrong.

Anyway... as far as relationships go, if the girl only had a personal belief in a God and/or was very secular, I'm sure I could see past that difference if she was a nice person.

 

[RTTTYTR]

How much influence does the idea that if a Jewish women doesnt bring her kids up jewish, they arnt matter? From what I can moralise it seems like it would/could have a big influence, Hitler almost wiped the Jews out, so it would be the obligation of a Jewish women to ensure her kids are Jewish.

If you are Jewish or know more about this could you please tell me if im right/wrong.

 

[azzie]

I think religion, like a lot of other things may get in the way in a relationship, but it's not an issue unless you make it one.

For example, I might hate steak but my boyfriend could love it. So he's not going to force me to eat steak and I won't ban him from eating it- we can do our own things and still be together and happy.

In the same way, I think many people can be together, though religion is a more complex and more important issue than who eats what (unless you're really pedantic about your food).

I could be Christian and my boyfriend Athiest and it could work. I wouldnt force him to be Christian, and I wouldn't make him uncomfortable with my faith. If you accomodate for each other and are always open minded, willing to learn, then not only will you build a strong relationship but also a healthy way of dealing with people in the outside world who may not share your views and approaching other issues with a calm and collected manner, and in a state where you're willing to learn new things.

 

[luscious-llama]

My boyfriend's a strong Christian
I'm not sure what I am but I don't believe in his God.... thats for sure...

We respect our respective beliefs and stuff, but we dont' let that get in way of being together. After all a relationship is about love and acceptance... religion shouldn't get in the way of a good relationship.

 

[Season]

^^ my father is jewish and the main reason they are in Australia is because of the Halocaust and all that jazz.

Okay the thing about the Jewish religion is that if you are born a Jew (ie your mum was one) then you are a Jew for life. Thats just how it is, its also extremly difficult to become a Jew if you weren't born one because the Jews trace their beginnings from the 11 brothers of Israel. Its a lot easier to become a Christian priest then a practising Jew.

However a lot of people don't practise the Jewish religion ie keep Kosher and visit the synagogue. When my grandparents came to Australia the first thing they taught their kids was that they were Australian through and through. They didn't practise their faith they kept their backgrounds hidden as much as possible. Because the faith is passed through the mother most practising Jews are pushed to marry other practising Jews to keep the faith alive. Same with most religions though.

 

[RTTTYTR]

I could be Christian and my boyfriend Athiest and it could work. I wouldnt force him to be Christian, and I wouldn't make him uncomfortable with my faith. If you accomodate for each other and are always open minded, willing to learn, then not only will you build a strong relationship but also a healthy way of dealing with people in the outside world who may not share your views and approaching other issues with a calm and collected manner, and in a state where you're willing to learn new things.

What about any possible offspring? How would that work (religious or not)?

 

[RTTTYTR]

^^ my father is jewish and the main reason they are in Australia is because of the Halocaust and all that jazz.

Okay the thing about the Jewish religion is that if you are born a Jew (ie your mum was one) then you are a Jew for life. Thats just how it is, its also extremly difficult to become a Jew if you weren't born one because the Jews trace their beginnings from the 11 brothers of Israel. Its a lot easier to become a Christian priest then a practising Jew.

However a lot of people don't practise the Jewish religion ie keep Kosher and visit the synagogue. When my grandparents came to Australia the first thing they taught their kids was that they were Australian through and through. They didn't practise their faith they kept their backgrounds hidden as much as possible. Because the faith is passed through the mother most practising Jews are pushed to marry other practising Jews to keep the faith alive. Same with most religions though.

So does that mean regardless of the parents wishes, any offspring from a Jewish woman is automatically Jewish? Or could a Jewish woman who possibly could be married to a non-Jew, bring children up as non-Jewish?

 

[azzie]

What about any possible offspring? How would that work (religious or not)?

Ahh what are we, cats? They're called "children"

And let's admit, you're probably not thinking about kids at this age.

As for later on, you'd hope to be able to raise your kids in an intelligent manner, giving them all the information of their parents beliefs and letting them decide what they think is right for themselves.

 

[RTTTYTR]

Ahh what are we, cats? They're called "children"

Ok yeah sorry, should have explained. Genetic offspring=kids=children.

As for later on, you'd hope to be able to raise your kids in an intelligent manner, giving them all the information of their parents beliefs and letting them decide what they think is right for themselves.

Im a tad, confused on how 1 year old children can make this choice.

And let's admit, you're probably not thinking about kids at this age.

Hypothectically, speaking. I created this thread as an more mature more serious relationship based discussion. By serious I mean at the minimum living together.

 

[azzie]

Im a tad, confused on how 1 year old children can make this choice.

Minus the comma, I can explain.
You raise your kids so that they see both sides of your beliefs, if possible even other world religions so they can make the choice themselves when they are of fit age to do so.
It's like you're saying a child should know what profession they want to be when they're 1 year old. Of course that wont happen.
Nothing should be forced upon children, they should be given all the information possible and then able to decide for themselves.
Clearly not everyone needs to have a religion from the word go.

Hypothectically, speaking. I created this thread as an more mature more serious relationship based discussion. By serious I mean at the minimum living together.

You have real issues with punctuation dear.
A serious relationship isn't framed as simply living together. People can be in a serious, committed relationship without living together. This topic is about religion, isnt it? So I have friends who are Christians who got together and didn't live in the same house until they were married.
I don't think living together is any measure of how good or serious the relationship is or is not.

 

[RTTTYTR]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, he thought you didn't understand what 'offspring' meant, az.

Funneh.

I realised she knows what it is, I was making a point of the technicalities of the matter, and the pointless need to correct someone for using the term offspring as opposed to kids.

 

[glitterfairy]

I think it's certainly possible but it depends on the people involved and how fanatically religious they are. I think relationships can work provided both people are willing to be sensitive to the other person's religion and try to keep their relationship somewhat seperate from religion (ie not trying to drag partner to church etc etc)

For example I'm agnostic - I don't really care about other people's religions so long as they respect the fact I don't feel the same way and probably won't anytime soon. This implies them being somewhat open minded, never trying to convert me, not talking for hours on end about how awesome their religion is etc etc etc...

I think some people are more inclined to be intolerant of other religions. Maybe they've been raised from the cradle in a totally one-religion environment and aren't built to cope with other religions. Maybe it's just really important for them to be able to discuss/share their faith with their partner, etc. In my opinion it epends a lot on how into their religion they are - how much they go to church, family influences, personal values and so on. And then of course there might be past influences - maybe one girl might be totally turned off Christians because when he dumped her he said it was because "she was evil" (although in reality he was just a jerk and pulling the religion card because he sucked). *shrug*

I gotta admit though, I'd be sprinting away at top speed if I was in a long term relationship and my partner said "hey honey, I love you but if or when we have kids, they're going to grow up as Christians/Catholics/Jews/Seventh Day Adventists - oh and by the way there's going to be zero further discussion or compromise on this." <--- I think when you run into people like this (and they do exist), you should run, because the relationship is just not going to work :/

 

[LynH1326]

Re: Inter-racial Relationships

I'm sick of people with no idea pretending to be experts on things.

Just shut up.

Just because I do read and educate myself so that I can be a better person, doesn't mean that i am pretending to be an expert. At least I am not ignorant.