Don't know about that.
There are a lot of people in my grade better than me. Heck, I don't even think I made the top 20 for EE1 at my school. It meant sooo much to do so well in Trials. I cried when I got the essay back, I really did.
I'm incredibly torn. Let's be honest: The reason some schools do better is because they have an edge that they hide from other schools. If I reveal my "star" essay, then you'll see some interesting things I was given. But then again, after this year, everyone will know about it, because the markers will see what we do, pass it onto other teachers, and etc etc.
I'm pissed off because I'm not a "special perfect person". If I was, I'd be in the hghs "hall of fame". I'm also pissed off because I thought I got over the whole "who cares about being one of the special perfect people" thing years ago. Obviously I didn't. I'm also jealous that my friend got in and not me (human nature) but at the same time I'm so incredibly proud for her and to know her. She has worked her butt off this year, and through all the sweat and tears and grown into an amazing person who knows so much more than she thinks she can, writes so much better than she believes, is more talented than she could ever imagine, and truly deserves to have her name and work immortalised for all time.
I on the other hand am just a stupid, immature, over-competitive, over-emotional, silly twit who relies too much on cheap thrills and who is not standing in good stead for tommorrow.