ripping each other to shreds (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Jethro G
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gloria*
skin graft
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'it feels different' -- i think i know what you mean.
i read my entire work today, for the first time since i completed it, and i don't know. maybe i'm more critical but it seems even more shit than it was. i hate that when i finally decide to step outside myself a little, to a less personal view [one closer to what the markers might have, perhaps] it's kind of too late.
i read my entire work today, for the first time since i completed it, and i don't know. maybe i'm more critical but it seems even more shit than it was. i hate that when i finally decide to step outside myself a little, to a less personal view [one closer to what the markers might have, perhaps] it's kind of too late.
braindrainedAsh
Journalist
Jethro G
Member
thanks...
hehe, is the eliot impression from the latin... hmm... love song...
um.. you guys are funny... post your shit!!! hypocrits!
hehe, is the eliot impression from the latin... hmm... love song...
um.. you guys are funny... post your shit!!! hypocrits!
http://www.geocities.com/huck_f_enn/
jet, saul. sprogged all over your works. hopeless peices of trash. ( : p )
ash.... well, i'll leave it there.
jet, saul. sprogged all over your works. hopeless peices of trash. ( : p )
ash.... well, i'll leave it there.
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Jinglebell
Member
fraid your link is not working, huck....
spin spin sugar
it's gotta be big
huck yours is fucking amazing. i love it.
(and i'm not being obsequious here, i truly thought yours was great. i'll be damned if you don't get 50- seriously.)
(and i'm not being obsequious here, i truly thought yours was great. i'll be damned if you don't get 50- seriously.)
Jethro G
Member
im laughing and i dont know why...
could be a drug...
could be a drug...
Daemontreu
What.
I did an extended poem; a ballad.
The more I read through it the less I like it...
The more I read through it the less I like it...
Daemontreu
What.
Heh. You don't know how happy you've made me.
*relief*Yes! I read yours when you posted it in the other thread... interestingly-great! (Not "interestingly" as in I didn't expect it to be... but, damn. You know what I mean right?) - Kind of lost me towards the end...
Daemonthingy, i liked your ballad alot. Very nice rhyme and rhythms and especially good images. very tasty images. but dude, the repeated lines.??? wtf? i got so bored with them by the second page...
Asylum, mucherly liked your 'story'. sweet pomo action. I really liked your more vague, abstract sections, and especially the first few pages, where it seemed very unrelated and random. I know the 'concept' is important, but it got a little confusing/exhausting later on... whats with the rock? could you explain it for me? I also felt your execution of language in a few places let it down, but only very minorly. It came accross as a little bit rushed at times.
Asylum, mucherly liked your 'story'. sweet pomo action. I really liked your more vague, abstract sections, and especially the first few pages, where it seemed very unrelated and random. I know the 'concept' is important, but it got a little confusing/exhausting later on... whats with the rock? could you explain it for me? I also felt your execution of language in a few places let it down, but only very minorly. It came accross as a little bit rushed at times.
Saul
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you're too critical of everyones work tom, just say that they're good, make people feel better and move on. And with regards to the repetition within ballads (although i haven't actually read thingies work yet) it can be acceptable to have repetition. If you look at Lord Randall (don't think anybody knows how its actually by) you'd see that pretty much every stanza is exactly the same, yet still manages to convey the story of the ballad. (not to mention a really enjoyable poem)
And that's my two cents.
And that's my two cents.
Just cause your story was crap.
Nah, guys, i did enjoy both of them. Criticism is intended to be goodnatured and 'helpful', although i have no idea if either of you plan on doing something similar again. Do you?
and re the ballad thing, i don;t care if its 'accepted' or not, i got bored of it. my two cents =/= your two cents. so ner.
EDIT:
bloody hell saulm you've made me paranoid.
I don;t mean to point out 'flaws'. i guess my natural reaction is to go all deconstruct styles. Both of your works were very high quality. Daemonthingy - i was (honestly) in awe of your poetic abilities. and Asylum - very ingenious concept and i was mucherly entertained and engaged.
:/
empathy tom. empathy. Saul said so.
Nah, guys, i did enjoy both of them. Criticism is intended to be goodnatured and 'helpful', although i have no idea if either of you plan on doing something similar again. Do you?
and re the ballad thing, i don;t care if its 'accepted' or not, i got bored of it. my two cents =/= your two cents. so ner.
EDIT:
bloody hell saulm you've made me paranoid.
I don;t mean to point out 'flaws'. i guess my natural reaction is to go all deconstruct styles. Both of your works were very high quality. Daemonthingy - i was (honestly) in awe of your poetic abilities. and Asylum - very ingenious concept and i was mucherly entertained and engaged.
:/
empathy tom. empathy. Saul said so.
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Jethro G
Member
something smells
fo en ellfar
.... my gowd... i liked both of them... i found the second repetition nice... the first was good too... but as tom said maybe not lastingly good just good... but execution is good too
pomo to the maxo... goodo
toms right with the mixy upology at the startology... hm... i liked it further on as they started congealing and oozing arywhere... um... yeah... (toms one of those different one, watch out for him...)hehe(hehe)
fo en ellfar
.... my gowd... i liked both of them... i found the second repetition nice... the first was good too... but as tom said maybe not lastingly good just good... but execution is good too
pomo to the maxo... goodo
toms right with the mixy upology at the startology... hm... i liked it further on as they started congealing and oozing arywhere... um... yeah... (toms one of those different one, watch out for him...)hehe(hehe)
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Daemontreu
What.
Hey, no offence taken. I personally also found the repetition hell boring. I usually skip those lines anyway Problem is I probably really should have done it as a performance piece, ballads are so not meant to be read. But the repetition had to stay in, unfortunately. Ballad conventions for the 15th century etc. *shrug*
Well, honest opinions are worth something I guess.
Problem is I probably really should have done it as a performance piece, ballads are so not meant to be read. But the repetition had to stay in, unfortunately. Ballad conventions for the 15th century etc. *shrug*Well, honest opinions are worth something I guess.