Rules for Customers (4 Viewers)

[iamsickofyear12]

I went over to someones house yesterday to change out the wheels on their bed. She had this crazy dog and she said to me 'it will jump on you but then it will stop' and so she opens the door and this dog jumps on me and is biting at me and barking like crazy. And it didn't stop. She had to pick it up and take it outside. It didn't bother me because I like dogs and I knew it wasn't going to bite me or anything, but for someone afraid of dogs it would of been pretty bad.

 

[my sharona]

Don't glare at me as if I should be cooking your steaks right this second. Food takes time to cook. I'm a waitress, not a cook.

If you want tomato sauce, ask for it. If you want napkins, ask for them. If you dropped your knife, ask for another one. Someone will tell you to fuck off if you're rummaging through the mustard drawer trying to take 500mls of tabasco sauce with you.

Don't let your kids knock over your glass of wine and ask us for another one for free. Your little brat broke our glass. You're freaking lucky we don't charge you for that.

Don't stand in the way of where all the food runners are just because 'you want to see how everything is cooked'. If you block the path you won't get your food.

Don't show up at Mother's day (or any other popular day) for lunch and get pissed at us because we're booked out and we can't find you a table for an hour.

 

[elisabeth]

OPORTO (based on experiences during yesterday's shift...)

- Don't walk up to my register and say you want a chicken burger. Read the menu, idiot.

- There is an obvious queue. Don't stand to the side of there in a huddle with your giggling friends and then get pissed off because I haven't served you.

- Do not come up to us 10 minutes after closing and expect to be able to order 6 meals for your family. Fuck off and cook something at home. It's not fair to keep our entire staff and Erina Fair's cleaners waiting when we should be at home because you can't tell the time.

- If you get lucky and my manager will cook for you because he's spineless, don't you dare be fucking rude to me. You should be grateful, apologetic, smile, say please and thank you...

- Don't expect me to remember your order when there are 20 other people standing around.

- Don't start telling me your drinks before you've finished ordering all the meals. Here's how it works: you order your family's 6 meals, then pay, then I will ask you which 6 drinks you'd like. None of this "a regular bondi meal with a pepsi, a kiddo meal with a water, no, wait, a solo, two regular norm meals, one with a pepsi max and the other an apple juice..." shit.

- All of us have been working there for here ages and know the ropes. Your order is probably wrong because you didn't explain properly what you wanted and sadly, we're not mind readers. Yes, there -is- a difference between a bondi meal and a norm meal. If you looked at the menu for 3 seconds, you'd know.

- Don't order "a norm burger with chilli - yeah, you guys always check to ask if it's a bondi burger with chilli, haha, so I thought I'd make a stand!" and think you're fucking hilarious. You're not.

- Again, do you know how annoying it is when I ask both people in a couple what drinks they'd like and the guy always turns to his girlfriend "hey, what drink do you want, baby?" and he relays her preference back to me? Answer for yourself you spineless cow.

- If you see a burger there and think it's yours, chances are asking me if your burger is ready will be a lot more effective than you bitching to everyone else within earshot and drumming your fingers on the counter. Actually, I know who it's for and no, it's not yours, but being patient and polite means when your food is ready, you'll get napkins, sauce, heaps of chips and they won't have too much salt.

Gah.

 

[Arvin Sloane]

OPORTO (based on experiences during yesterday's shift...)

- Don't walk up to my register and say you want a chicken burger. Read the menu, idiot.

- There is an obvious queue. Don't stand to the side of there in a huddle with your giggling friends and then get pissed off because I haven't served you.

- Do not come up to us 10 minutes after closing and expect to be able to order 6 meals for your family. Fuck off and cook something at home. It's not fair to keep our entire staff and Erina Fair's cleaners waiting when we should be at home because you can't tell the time.

- If you get lucky and my manager will cook for you because he's spineless, don't you dare be fucking rude to me. You should be grateful, apologetic, smile, say please and thank you...

- Don't expect me to remember your order when there are 20 other people standing around.

- Don't start telling me your drinks before you've finished ordering all the meals. Here's how it works: you order your family's 6 meals, then pay, then I will ask you which 6 drinks you'd like. None of this "a regular bondi meal with a pepsi, a kiddo meal with a water, no, wait, a solo, two regular norm meals, one with a pepsi max and the other an apple juice..." shit.

- All of us have been working there for here ages and know the ropes. Your order is probably wrong because you didn't explain properly what you wanted and sadly, we're not mind readers. Yes, there -is- a difference between a bondi meal and a norm meal. If you looked at the menu for 3 seconds, you'd know.

- Don't order "a norm burger with chilli - yeah, you guys always check to ask if it's a bondi burger with chilli, haha, so I thought I'd make a stand!" and think you're fucking hilarious. You're not.

- Again, do you know how annoying it is when I ask both people in a couple what drinks they'd like and the guy always turns to his girlfriend "hey, what drink do you want, baby?" and he relays her preference back to me? Answer for yourself you spineless cow.

- If you see a burger there and think it's yours, chances are asking me if your burger is ready will be a lot more effective than you bitching to everyone else within earshot and drumming your fingers on the counter. Actually, I know who it's for and no, it's not yours, but being patient and polite means when your food is ready, you'll get napkins, sauce, heaps of chips and they won't have too much salt.

Gah.

Hah. Teach you to work at Oportos. Seriously, do you get paid the make the food taste like fecces?

 

[xeuyrawp]

hahhah @ the oporto story.

I've seen people ask for a Chicken burger- why don't you just give them a norm meal?

Also, I saw someone make a lame joke about the Norm/Bondi chilli thing. I looked at the poor worker then at him and his gay friends and told him he wasn't funny.

 

[xeuyrawp]

Hah. Teach you to work at Oportos. Seriously, do you get paid the make the food taste like fecces?

Shuttup, Arvin, you're like a 13 year kid who sits all day pretending he's a character in starwars and alias whilst everyone in here has an actual job.

 

[Arvin Sloane]

Shuttup, Arvin, you're like a 13 year kid who sits all day pretending he's a character in starwars and alias whilst everyone in here has an actual job.

In SOVIET UNION, people care what you say.

 

[xeuyrawp]

In SOVIET UNION, people care what you say.

Yes Arvin, you're in the soviet union or the galactic senate. May the force be with you.

 

[Arvin Sloane]

Yes Arvin, you're in the soviet union or the galactic senate. May the force be with you.

Hey, that's almost funny - Good try! And plus ten points for your clever use of smilies. Not everyone has that skill.

 

[funky_a]

Oportos is yum. Anyway, IMO male customers are just so much easier to sell to in my work.
Guy: Hi, I'm looking for a perfume for my mum.
Me: Ok. Does she have a particular favourite scent or frangrance?
Guy: Um, I'm not too sure
Me: Ok, would you like to try [insert name of most expensive frangrance I'm representing]
Guy: Yeah, that's nice. I'll take that
Me: We also have this in a gift pack, would you be interested in that?
Guy: Yeah, sure thanks. You've been really helpful.
Bwahahaha.

 

[xeuyrawp]

Oportos is yum. Anyway, IMO male customers are just so much easier to sell to in my work.
Guy: Hi, I'm looking for a perfume for my mum.
Me: Ok. Does she have a particular favourite scent or frangrance?
Guy: Um, I'm not too sure
Me: Ok, would you like to try [insert name of most expensive frangrance I'm representing]
Guy: Yeah, that's nice. I'll take that
Me: We also have this in a gift pack, would you be interested in that?
Guy: Yeah, sure thanks. You've been really helpful.
Bwahahaha.

Hey, as long as they like the product and walk out of the store smiling, you've done your job.

 

[funky_a]

Hey, as long as they like the product and walk out of the store smiling, you've done your job.

Except they're probably buying it for someone who don't like the product. But ah well. That's no longer my concern.

 

[xeuyrawp]

Except they're probably buying it for someone who don't like the product. But ah well. That's no longer my concern.

Doesn't matter, straight guys are expected to buy bad perfume.

 

[funky_a]

Doesn't matter, straight guys are expected to buy bad perfume.

Not so true. Most of my guy friends smell delish, and are not gay. I think clueness guys are expected to buy bad perfume...or prehaps most guys are in fact clueness but have gfs or good chick friends to pick out nice perfumes for them.

 

[townie]

ATTENTION CUSTOMERS:

-Dont be so fucking suprised when we've taken down the special tickets on sunday night, or changed the special's display. u seem to think we can do it after we close on sunday night, well let me tell u what would happen, the whole process takes about 4 hours with one person doing it, so, lets say i worked from 8-12 on sunday doing ur fucking specials for monday, thats 6 hours pay (time and a half on sundays), thats about 100 bucks woolworths has to pay extra, lets take that accross a thousand stores, costs woolworths money, prices go up! so get a fucking life and deal with the fact that the special tickets mite not be up 3 hrs b4 we close! grrrrrr

 

[moffat]

here's a rule for retail customers-
- wear clothes when going into a store. It's pretty bad seeing half-naked ppl walking around the store. especially when they go through your register. have some decency and cover up.
-don't come through to the registers whilst wearing what you want to buy. Surely u came into the store wearing shoes/a top so why can't wear what u wore in going out.
the other day some guy just lifts his leg up and slams his foot on the desk in front of me to scan the thongs he wanted to buy, opposed to taking them off his feet first. that is so rude.

 

[my sharona]

Oportos is yum. Anyway, IMO male customers are just so much easier to sell to in my work.
Guy: Hi, I'm looking for a perfume for my mum.
Me: Ok. Does she have a particular favourite scent or frangrance?
Guy: Um, I'm not too sure
Me: Ok, would you like to try [insert name of most expensive frangrance I'm representing]
Guy: Yeah, that's nice. I'll take that
Me: We also have this in a gift pack, would you be interested in that?
Guy: Yeah, sure thanks. You've been really helpful.
Bwahahaha.

I'm curious. What is the most expensive fragrance you're representing?

Lets hope it's nothing by jLo.

 

[modelzsuck]

I'm curious. What is the most expensive fragrance you're representing?

Lets hope it's nothing by jLo.

I like jLo Glo, my mum bought it for me for my birthday last year, its expensive, and baby doll, but I like jLo Glo betta.

 

[my sharona]

Anything that needs to sell itself with free CZ rings or necklaces isn't worth buying. I don't care if it's expensive.
In fact, I don't care what you say because it's bound to be a waste of space.

 

[live_without_it]

Based on my experiences at Video Ezy last night:

RULE:

Before yelling and threatening staff, gather ALL the facts, and make sure you are correct.

STORY:

If you want to argue with me and yell and threaten me, saying that our process for returning is fucked and that you returned a particular movie... despite the fact the computer says it hasnt been returned AND we cant find the disc in the store... thats fine.

It just makes it soo much funnier when you come back an hour later saying you found the disc in your dvd player at home.

By this stage I have barred your card and banned you from the store. Have a nice day dickhead.