Simpsons Quotes thread (1 Viewer)

[Lexan]

Bart - "the cat burgalar stole my stamp collection!"
Homer - "YOU had a STAMP COLLECTION?!" *points and laughs hysterically and marge and lisa join in*

 

[Lexan]

just a few other quotes i love


Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)


Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

[Legham]

Homer:
Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember that time I took a home wine making course and forgot how to drive?

You forgot the:
Marge: That's because you were drunk!


That's what makes the quote so hilarious.

 

[Trisk]

*homer looks at laddy (the 1200$ dog bart purchased with Santos il halper credit card)
"Oh yeah; a dog like that you'd have to feed every day"

 

[all.time.fiend]

Bill Cosby: Now my good man, what do you like to play?
Kid: Pokemon
Bill Cosby: Pokemon! Pokemon with the pokey and the man and the thing with the guy comes out and the thing and he like to fowowoarrrarrrarrrrghhhh


Moe: "Moe's Tavern?"
Bart: "Hello is Al there?
Moe: "Al?"
Bart: "Yeah Al. Last name Coholic?"
Moe: "Let me check. Phonecall for Al. Alcoholic"
"Uh, Jacque Strapp"
"Is I.P.Freely here"
"Is there a Butts here? Seymour Butts?"
"Uh Homer Sexual?
"Mike Rotch"
"Amanda Hugginkiss"
"Hugh Jass"
"Ivonna Tinkle"
"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt"

 

[MaNiElla]

I just love it when Nelson points at people and goes "ha ha"

Oh, and when Mr.Burns puts his hands together and says: "Excellent"

 

[icecreamdisco]

Troy: Come on Jimmy, lets take a look at the killing floor!
Jimmy: *gasps*
Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating, that allows material to sluice through so that it can be collected and exported.

 

[goony]

Insurance guy: This place Moe's you left just before the accident. this is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: don't tell him you were at a bar, but what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store...I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: hehehe, i would've never thought of that.


Someday i'm going to walk into a french exam (I don't take any french subjects at the moment), sit through reading time, open the booklet, scream out "LE GRILLE?! What the hell is that?!" and run out screaming.

 

[chocchipfox]

Homer: [Sickly sweet] Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Laaaaane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."
Marge: "Well Duh!"

 

[Zrap]

Homer as beer baron
Detective Dude: *Looks into the distance from a lookout* Im Going to catch you beer baron
Homer: *hiding in the bushes from a distance* No you wont
Detective Dude: Yes, Yes i will
Homer: Wont.
ROFLTOMATOES

 

[ZEROtheHERO]

Ralph: My cats breath smells like cat food

RalpH: I LIKE MEN NOW

Ralph: Why does everybody run from me? (pees his pants) LMFAOo


Manjula: Apu its 4 am, your late for work..
Apu: oooHHh i was having the most beautiful dream. i dreamt that i was dead
Manjula: ooOhhh no, you not dying on me, not till their outa college
Apu: Look ill die when i want ok

LMFAOOO

HOMER AT THE FAKE RELIGION PLACE:

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA LEADER, LEADER, LEADERRRRRRRRRRR...
I LOVE THE LEADERRRRRRRRRR

ROFLMAO! CLASSIC!

 

[Here]

Lionel Hutz: "This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

Chief Wiggum: "Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!"

 

[runtlocks]

Marge: I haven't been in a play since high school, and I thought it would be a good chance to meet some other adults.
Homer: Sounds interesting!
Marge: You know, I spend all day alone with Maggie, and sometimes it's like I don't even exist.
Homer: Sounds interesting!

 

[watatank]

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Simpsons

 

[runtlocks]

Ding, dong. The sound of the Liberty Bell. Ding. Freedom. Dong. Opportunity. Ding. Excellent schools. Dong. Quality hospitals.

 

[atreus]

some of my favourites.
Marge: Homer, that's your solution to everything: move under the sea. It's not gonna happen!
Homer: Not with that attitude!


Homer: OOOHHH! Floor pie!


Lisa: Dad, why are you singing?
Homer's Brain: Tell a lie, tell a lie, tell a lie!
Homer: I got a small role in a Broadway musical! It's not much, but it's a start.
Homer's Brain: Bra-vo. (slow clapping)


Lisa: I just had a bad dream!
Homer: Ah, sure, you just lie down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd but I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's hiding in the...
Homer: AAAAAHHH! BOOGEYMAN!!!! You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun! (storms into Bart's room and wakes him up) Bart, I don't want to alarm you but there may be a boogeyman or boogeymen in the house!
Bart: Aaaahhh!

 

[runtlocks]

Bart, I don't want to alarm you but there may be a boogeyman or boogeymen in the house!

the best

 

[Bainesy]

the best

no it isnt. it was funny the first time but hearing it a second time, it loses a lot of its humour

maybe the best joke is when skinner says "i think it was a boaking accident"

other than that simpsons is pretty crap. think about it. when your a kid you dont understand half of the stuff the 40+ writers are putting in the show as they are jokes that only adults would understand. and alot of adults dont watch it because of all of the kiddie jokes. therefore quite a crap show, there are much better ones such as raymond, friends, seinfeld, becker, ect which have jokes that you can understand. make the switch, away from simpsons to anything else, as anything > the simpsons

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Insurance guy: This place Moe's you left just before the accident. this is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: don't tell him you were at a bar, but what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store...I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: hehehe, i would've never thought of that.


Someday i'm going to walk into a french exam (I don't take any french subjects at the moment), sit through reading time, open the booklet, scream out "LE GRILLE?! What the hell is that?!" and run out screaming.

hahahahahahaha

are you talking the about the episode where he tries to build the barbecue? "WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!" lol.

also one of my all time favourites (if it's been posted, sorry):

Lisa: Forget it, Bart. To get those tickets we'd have to be part of Springfield's cultural elite!
Homer: (entering) Can you believe Flanders threw out a perfectly good toothbrush? (brushes teeth with it)

hehe.

 

[Omium]

Future Lisa gets thrown into prison

Judge: I sentence you to 20 years on monster island
Prisoner: Dont worry its only a name

(Monsters Chasing After Lisa)

Lisa: You said it was only a name
Prisoner: What i meant is that monster island is actually a peninsula