talks then doesn't (1 Viewer)

iambored

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This has been pissing me off for some time.
What do you make of it if you have a friend / acquaintance / love interest / anyone else who:
is really nice, chatty, asks how you've been.
you see them again from a distance and they look away
you see them again and they say hi and are chatty
you see them again (say, in a classroom) and ask them something and they don't answer, they act like they didn't hear you :chainsaw:

I have met people who do this and is pisses me off because I don't know if they want to talk or be friends or not. If you're one of this species please enlighten me as to what goes on in your mind. If you're not please tell me what you think goes on in their mind.

Much appreciated :)
 
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D_A

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Coincidentally, I have someone whose a kinda... 'love interest' as OP posted and acts like that too. I have developed an urge recently to cut her head open and ask her brain what the heck its thinking of me. =/
 

doodydo

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i must admit that to some extent, i have tendencies to ignore a certain one of my guy friends a bit.
he used to be a love interest but that sorta stopped over time. i dunno what it is. like i talk to him and say hi but thats usually when he's alone. when its just us- its all great, we can talk most of the time. but when others are around, i have this uncontrollable urge not to pay as much attention to him

maybe i'm just playing mind games and trying to make him frustrated. but i seriously dont think that much when i do it.

but i wont see him and walk in the direction or anything.
i dunno. maybe i'm subconsciously playing hard to get even though i have absolutely no feelings towards him..
 

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iambored said:
This has been pissing me off for some time.
What do you make of it if you have a friend / acquaintance / love interest / anyone else who:
is really nice, chatty, asks how you've been.
you see them again from a distance and they look away
you see them again and they say hi and are chatty
you see them again (say, in a classroom) and ask them something and they don't answer, they act like they didn't hear you :chainsaw:

I have met people who do this and is pisses me off because I don't know if they want to talk or be friends or not. If you're one of this species please enlighten me as to what goes on in your mind. If you're not please tell me what you think goes on in their mind.

Much appreciated :)
hmmm... this might sound a tad off

but when days im not looking/feeling my best..

i tend to try and avoid talking or instigating any converstaions with particular people.. say a crush..

and then people misunderstand and take it as im 'snobbing' them cause im too good to talk with them -_-;
 
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I think sometimes it depends on how often you've been chatting to someone, or how much of an acquaintance they actually are.

I find it a little presumptuous to immediately assume that someone wants to talk to me next time we cross paths, just because we've chatted once or twice before, so in situations like that sometimes I'll tend to be a little reserved unless the other person is obviously up for a chat or whatever. When I think about it, this probably seems stand-offish of me but it's just the way I am :)

There are also things like where someone I've spoken to once or twice will go to say hi, and I'll accidentally snob them and realise, but by that stage they've already pulled a "Fuck you" type face and gone about their business, so I just let it slide.

Or when I spot someone I've chatted to once a fair way away, I figure it'd seem a little insane if I'm all OMG HI FRIEND! and wave like crazy, so in situations like that often I'll make a subtle acknowledgement and wait till they get closer for a proper greeting or go about my business, depending on how much time I have to spare, etc.

And well, if someone is deliberately snobbing you, maybe they're fucked in the head. Whenever I do it it is either an accident or out of my lack of social aptitude :) I don't really know why anyone would blatantly ignore you, unless it's just because they've decided you're a cretin and don't want anything to do with you, or maybe don't want anything to do with you in certain situations, in front of certain people, or something like that. Maybe you could ask them, they may genuinely have no idea that they've ignored you at times, or they might explain the situation.
 

AsyLum

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He may not have seen you, i know i don't recognise people even if theyre right in front of me, since im too dazed out
 

Dreamerish*~

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They could be in a bad mood, tired, thinking about other things... etc.

They probably don't mean to ignore you, they're just not in the mood to chat.

On the other hand, there are some people who are just like that. One day they might think it's fun to talk to you, the next day you somehow piss them off. You can tell whether the person you're referring to is one of these by observing how he/she acts around other people. If he/she is snobbing everyone, don't worry about it, but if you're the only one being ignored, then I guess there is a problem.
 

santaslayer

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Maybe Iambored is so good looking the love interest just gets swept off her feet whilst in your presence. Some people actually get nervous when they are approached by a hawt sexy beast. I'm very understanding to those girls. You should be too. :p
 

PerfectByNature

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i know what you mean... i hate it when people do that.
i hate it when im almost always the one who says hi first.
i guess you can either not say hi or just keep on persisting, or ask them why they dont answer you sometimes.
the thing is with this stuff its circumstantial... maybe sometimes they dont say anything cos they have other stuff on their mind or maybe they feel annoyed by youy for some reason... you cant just give an explanation and expect it to cover ever situation
 

happytreefriend

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i have the same kinda thing where my bestfreinds ex is also a good guy friend of mine and cos i dont see my bestfreind as much now that shes moved, its become kinda weird between him and me. i kinda get the feeling that whenever i go to talk to him the rest of the room (if we're at school) thinks im trying to get into his pants and im not. we used wo laugh and have the best time and share so much. he'd tell me about how he felt about my freind and he helped me when i need him. but now im affraid he thinks i dont like him anymore tho now my friend is gone but i do, i really do, i just get really inseure around him when i truely trust him and love him (as a friend) so much. aggghhh! its like this inner emotional battle.
 

Dimsimmer

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Some people can be weird. They might be nice one day and ignore you the next or act like a dickhead. So unpredictable.
 

MouNtY

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i think i actually do this quite a bit. and it's mainly because of reasons some of the other people have said.

sorta like if i've tlaked to someone a couple of times and see 'em again i'm not gonna rock up and just go "OMG HOW ARE YA!", cauze that's just way wierd. so i tend to ignore them until they come and talk to me. sorta like i don't like to look like i need friends desperatley so i'm gonna go and have conversations with someone i've onlyy spoken to a few times.

i don't do it just cause i like to be a snob
 

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SpoRTsGaL said:
I HATE being ignored, especially when the person is walking in my direction and pretends to not see me, and especially when I have a thing for the person. I mean, it isn't hard to see a 6ft female standing or walking in front of you, unless you're blind.

Anyway, I sometimes fake blindness, but not for some particular people. Most of the time, though, I am in my own little world, so I don't see them.
Im blind :( </3
 

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hmm, interesting topic.
i can come off as a bit standoffish sometimes, usually around people who i don't know well, or who im shy around. usually i'll see them up ahead ,and then say hi when i walk past, but sometimes this awkward situation happens ,where we both see each other from a distance, look away coz its too far to yell out to each other, and then its all awkward 4 some reason when we actually meet up. i dont know how else to explain it. sometimes though, i just zone out, and completely dont see the person standing in front of me. those times i laugh it off... :p occasionally i'll be alone with someone whom im not very well aquainted with and the convo is just a series of awkward silences ,esp. if the other person doesnt talk heaps either. its weird, coz around my friends i talk heaps but around people i dont know well i clam up, a lot. i also have an ingrained habit of not looking at people when i speak to them. im not snobbing them, im not even doing it conciously 99% of the time, its just something ive always done. its not as if i look deliberately away or turn my back, i just dont look them straight in the face a lot of the time and some people have interpreted that as being a snob. im really not.

on the same topic though, to those people who get offended when others don't see them/are awkward around them/dont talk much, why????? because ive had people not see me/not hear/zone out before and i never get annoyed or anything, i just accept that they didnt see me and get over it. what exactly is so bad about it? not everybody is on the ball 100% of the time.
 

SmokedSalmon

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iambored said:
This has been pissing me off for some time.
What do you make of it if you have a friend / acquaintance / love interest / anyone else who:
is really nice, chatty, asks how you've been.
you see them again from a distance and they look away
you see them again and they say hi and are chatty
you see them again (say, in a classroom) and ask them something and they don't answer, they act like they didn't hear you :chainsaw:

I have met people who do this and is pisses me off because I don't know if they want to talk or be friends or not. If you're one of this species please enlighten me as to what goes on in your mind. If you're not please tell me what you think goes on in their mind.

Much appreciated :)
Hahaha... I know the feeling. It happens to practically everybody. After someone acts distant towards you (when they were perfectly fine the day before), you end up thinking about the scenario for hours on end, analysing every last detail... wondering if they like you, or if they were just having an off day, or if you did or said something wrong (i.e. did you fart?). Very very annoying. Well actually... for me, that close scrutiny happens for crushes/love interests only. If its mates or acquaintances, I usually think they are having a bad day and give them room.

I've had this thing happen to me quite recently too. I made friends with this guy randomly, we got along and joked around for a bit... then after a week he starts acting bizarre. :rolleyes: Like he looks away from me and doesn't meet my eyes when I see him in a lecture. :p
When this has happened in the past I figure that its either: he can't stand me or he really likes me and gets all nervous around me. :\
But, I tend to change my behaviour around guys I really like. Sometimes I get so nervous when I see them I try to avoid eye contact by looking at my boring sneakers or mumble something if they speak to me. Its terrible! My brain's saying 'speak you idiot, don't just clam up'.. but my mouths not moving. :chainsaw:

If it really is getting you down, then just bring out the chainsaw, turn it on and demand what their beef is with you.
 

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