Garden Fresh and Stolen Food
It's this modern time when woolies sell oranges for 5 dollars a fucking kilo it is
tempting to go back to the good old days where we grow citrus fruits
and vegetables in our own backyard.there may be fucking fruit flies and snails wrecking your crops but at least you know
what you are spraying your plants with.
no i dont endorse growing marijuana.
here are some tips from Uncle, the y dont call me Uncle for no reason you knows.
- Fucken fruit flies giving you the shits? hgere is how to drown the fuckers.
get a 1.25L PET bottle (like the soft drinks the fat little kids engorge themselves with),
have an idea?
now punch a nice hole twice the diameter of your thumb or so near the top.
what to fill it with?
a liquid that is very smelly to attract flies.
water that you use in rinsing fish guts is good, that kind of stuff.
you could use piss or toilet water after you take a shit but that aint a good idea.
fill up that bottle BELOW the hole with that smelly water.
hang the bottle by the neck with a string and tie it to the branch of the tree
those fruit flies fly around in.
then those stupid pricks should fly in, love some of that smell and drown and die.
- when shallots/spring onions
(same thing, different name, just like penis/cock/dick/phallus)
cost $2 a fucken bunch you can grow it yuourself.
wash the spring onions, then notice from root to tip it goes from white to green.
slice the shallot just above the root, and keep as much of the white for yoruself as possible.
that white region is the most flavoursome part of spring ionion.
then plant the shallot root in a nice moist dirt, root down.
after six weeks you have your very own spring onions, want more then repeat.
your own fucking shallot garden!
- when i was in FOXHOUND i was constantly stealing food.
here is how you want to sample next door Cranky Jim's plantation. first, rip off a leaf or a small sample.
roll up either sleeve and place the leaf on your bicep or any part not noticable.
place as long as your patience holds.
if there is any rash or allergic reaction then there aint no point eating it and your throats gonan be clogged.
if there is no allergic reaction then place on your lip.
if once again there is no allergic reaction then you may proceed to eat.
- also when i was in FOXHOUND i was constantly hunting animals to eat as a source of protein.
do you want to eat your neighbour's dog?
those dogs have a good sense of smell, if you have a pistol (silenced with tranquiliser ammo preferred, like an MK22), shoot it in the head.
neutralise it somehow without alerting anyone. choke it unconscious, etc.
then once the dog is neutralised, dissect it from the chest to its groin with your knife.
be very careful NOT to cut the intestine which will leak dangerous E.Coli bacteria into the dog's flesh.
skin the dog, drain the blood then prepare the meat like any other meat like beef or chicken, into dog casserole or whatever.