thesis for journeys (1 Viewer)

cupid4u

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can somone please read over my thesis and see if i am on the right track? :)

None of my teachers will get back to me.
serves me right for not doing it sooner.








What separates imaginative journeys from other physical or inner journeys, is that the travelling of one place to another is done through the imagination. This allows the individual to escape reality and resolve issues in imaginative sense to apply to real life. This imaginative sense has the power to transform the way the individual looks at the world, through an expansion of the mind which results in growth and experience. The poetry of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, specifically Kubla khan and this lime tree bower my prison depict thought processing through the imagination to arrive at specific conclusions. The board of studies stimulus text the wind in the willows by Kenneth grahame is a children’s story in its literal sense to entertain, while also underlying a criticism of the English class system of the time, written in 1907. Its shows the concept of imagination to resolve reality and a growth in understanding. Requiem for a dream, a novel adapted for film, directed by aronofsky who uses his personal style to depict the spiral into addiction and how the characters escape from reality for pleasure in the form of drug highs and hallucinations ultimately destroys them and leads them to change how they look at the world.
 

danish222

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Hey

Your thesis sounds pretty good. To improve it I would:
  • reference the texts properly- 'Title' (author, publisher, date).
  • Define 'journey' before explaining how an imaginative journey is different. Expand your definition of imag. journeys. (ie what is imagination/what does it allow you to do)
  • Give less information about your texts- that should be left for the essay. If you explain it all in the intro there's not much point reading the essay. ie. don't give it away so much.
  • Read through and fix some typos.
  • Still preface your main points/concepts.
  • In the exam make sure you ajust your thesis so it answers the set essay question clearly.
All the best!
 

cupid4u

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how about this:

A journey in its most literal sense, Is a movement involving a catalyst and a conclusion, with challenges for the individual along the way which have the power to expand the mind, body, and soul. What separates imaginative journeys from other physical or inner journeys, is that the travelling of one place to another is done through the imagination. The imagination allows the individual to escape reality and resolve issues in fantasy, through speculating, that they can then apply to real life. This imaginative thought process has the power to transform the way the individual looks at the world, through an expansion of the mind which results in growth and experience. The poetry of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, specifically Kubla khan and this lime tree bower my prison ; The board of studies stimulus text the wind in the willows by Kenneth Grahame; Requiem for a dream, a novel adapted for film, directed by Darren aronofsky, all exemplify these ideas.
 

Forbidden.

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danish222 said:
Hey

Your thesis sounds pretty good. To improve it I would:
  • reference the texts properly- 'Title' (author, publisher, date).
  • Define 'journey' before explaining how an imaginative journey is different. Expand your definition of imag. journeys. (ie what is imagination/what does it allow you to do)
  • Give less information about your texts- that should be left for the essay. If you explain it all in the intro there's not much point reading the essay. ie. don't give it away so much.
  • Read through and fix some typos.
  • Still preface your main points/concepts.
  • In the exam make sure you ajust your thesis so it answers the set essay question clearly.
All the best!
Why would you need a date ?
My teacher says only the name of the text and the composer is needed.
One of the HSC Advisers I called says the name of the text for referencing is sufficient.
 

danish222

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Much better :)

Make sure you reference the texts at least once in your essay though- i find it easiest to get it done in the intro. 'Title' (author, publisher, date) for poems and Title (director/author, publisher, date) for films/books
 

danish222

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Forbidden:

You asked 'why would you need a date?' That's just what I've had drilled into me ;) Besides, the date it is written will have an impact on the author writing it- with contextual factors etc. Plus some books/films have remakes or may have the same name as other books/films so this simple way of referencing will minimise confusion.
 

triggy

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thats a heaps good intro. yeh. mines shit. if anyone has any imput would be nice.


"Through imaginative journeys, we can be taken into worlds of speculation. Whilst reality holds restriction on the human desire to escape from their fears and troubles, imaginative journeys provide that escape. Writers can ignore the restrictions reality holds on possibilities, as their only limit is the power of the individual's imagination.
The power of the imagination challenges the readers thinking, allowing reality to be seen from a different perspective. Through imaginative journeys, writers not only provide an escape from reality, but use them to deliver their underlying assumptions to society. This can be seen in Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poetry, "This Lime-Tree Bower My Prison" and "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner", Margret Atwood's poem, "Journey to the Interior" and the novel "Peter Pan" written by J.M Barrie."


:confused: i dont stand a chance..
 

danish222

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ok- no need to swear. Your intro is just missing some things. You need to set up the idea of what a journey is first and then go into what an imaginative journey is. You might have noticed the words 'speculation, imagination, inspiration' are important to the topic, so try to incorporate them into your intro. Explain what they are/how they are important to an imaginative journey. Your concepts are sounding good, so long as you back them up in your essay. Hope that helped a bit :)
 

zaqwerty

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So. I'm happy with my thesis. But will my answer be downgraded by only analysing "Kubla Khan"? I find it difficult to write about more than one.
 

colyrook

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How about...



“You take the blue pill, the story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
This quote from The Matrix cryptically explains what my texts have taught me about the concept of Imaginary journeys; that they take us from the present reality and transfer us into an unreal existence or different world that can only ever exist in our minds.
These voyages fuelled by the human capacity to imagine prove that a journey is not simply a physical movement from one place to another but can be a vehicle for learning, growth and self-discovery.
Four particular texts portray the concept of imaginative journeys;
The Novel Ender’s Game, written by Orson Scott Card in 1985
The Matrix movie trilogy, directed by the Wachowski brothers (1999-2003)
The song lyric Puff the magic dragon, written by Peter Yarrow, and performed by vocal group Peter, Paul and Mary
And the story excerpt Wind in the Willows, by Kenneth Graham from the BOS stimulus booklet.
These texts consist of many journeys occurring in the imagination of the characters, and inspire a journey to be undertaken in the imagination of the audience.


Help please?
 

latin minority

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The Problem that i am having and i guess many of u Have is incorporating Imagination,Inspiration, Speculation and Underlying assumptions into The Intro.
Can Anyone suggest any ppointers???
 

danish222

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zaqwerty:

I'd strongly advise you analyse two poems. Coleridge is the prescribed text so should be the main part of your essay. You must use it to prove each concept- which could be very difficult if you only have one poem and the exam question doesn't suit it perfectly. I'd suggest Lime-tree if you don't know which to choose.
 

zaqwerty

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I got told that each text had to be written about equally, hence the choice of only one Coleridge poem :(. Trust me to find out NOW that I have to do two.
 
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danish222

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colyrook:

Great idea to start with a quote, and a good one at that.

Some suggestions:
  • use 'imaginative journeys' not 'imaginary'
  • don't say 'cryptically explains' because it is uneccessary- the marker knows it will not directly tell you, that is why you need to write the essay.
  • try not to write in 1st person
  • 'the concept of imaginary journeys' is not a good phrase to use. There are many concepts of imaginative journeys... eg. they take us out from present reality.
  • basically- rework the second sentence.
  • 3rd sentence is great.
  • You should try and work in 'speculation, imagination, inspiration' as most questions would focus on one of these. So mention how these words relate to imaginative journeys
  • 4th sentence- perhaps something like 'Four texts which explore assumptions of imaginative journeys are...'
  • A faster/easier way to reference is 'Title' (author, publisher, date)
All the best
 

danish222

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Latin minority:You don't have to use them all, but if you want to... think of them in this order, 'speculation, imagination, inspiration.' One leads to the next eg. when you speculate it leads to imagining and more often than not you are inspired by your journey. Underlying assumptions can be added in anywhere you put your concepts. eg. 'Texts explore assumptions such as...'Good luck
 

colyrook

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danish222 said:
colyrook:

Great idea to start with a quote, and a good one at that.

Some suggestions:
  • use 'imaginative journeys' not 'imaginary'
  • don't say 'cryptically explains' because it is uneccessary- the marker knows it will not directly tell you, that is why you need to write the essay.
  • try not to write in 1st person
  • 'the concept of imaginary journeys' is not a good phrase to use. There are many concepts of imaginative journeys... eg. they take us out from present reality.
  • basically- rework the second sentence.
  • 3rd sentence is great.
  • You should try and work in 'speculation, imagination, inspiration' as most questions would focus on one of these. So mention how these words relate to imaginative journeys
  • 4th sentence- perhaps something like 'Four texts which explore assumptions of imaginative journeys are...'
  • A faster/easier way to reference is 'Title' (author, publisher, date)
All the best
Thank you so much. I owe you!
 

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