wat the hell is wrong with me ?! (1 Viewer)

[Jezzabelle]

okies....

i think i am seriously cursed. Four guys in my lifetime I have fallen for and who have told me they loved me, have moved interstate and so broken up with me before they went because they didnt want to get to attatched.

perth, melbourne, newcastle(yeh its not interstate but... blah) and now adelaide...

*cry*

so not fair. nye he says (completely sober i might add) that he likes me lots, that he has never told a girl this before, but he thinks he loves me...

and today he says, he's been thinking a lot, and he's gotten too attatched to me already and doesnt want to hurt me when if he goes to adelaide so he wants to break things off!

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

how can i convince him to relax, have fun, live for the moment and not worry about maybe having to say goodbye?

I knew about his desire to study dentistry in adelaide before we went on our first date, i knew wat i was getting myself into. but i enjoy his company, he makes me happy now, and thats enough for me

any tips on how i can convince him to not quit on us?

 

[Dynamix]

sorry, no tips becuase im in exactly the same situation- i got involved with this girl after schoolies and she knew i was moving away for uni next year, but we got involved anyway. NYE is completely amazing, and i think "we can give a long distance relationship a try" but then i cop this morning "i dont think its a good idea"- all i want to do is spend time with her until i have to leave.

 

[Jezzabelle]

he's already enriched my life in so many ways, and makes me be a better person. And I just love being around him, he's just an incredible person. I dont want to lose him, and i want to have as much time as possible with him before he goes... because, well, he makes me glow and i want to know everything there is to know about him

 

[Cape]

but wouldn't you like to see him do what he has wanted to do for ages??

 

[Nick]

he's already enriched my life in so many ways, and makes me be a better person. And I just love being around him, he's just an incredible person. I dont want to lose him, and i want to have as much time as possible with him before he goes... because, well, he makes me glow and i want to know everything there is to know about him

maybe he couldn't stop vomiting at horrible cliches

just a thought

 

[Jezzabelle]

but wouldn't you like to see him do what he has wanted to do for ages??

woah... i never said i didnt want him to go to adelaide!!
His pursuit for his dreams is one of the many qualities i love about him. I'd be so ecstaticly happy and proud for him if he got in
I just want to keep getting to know him better while he's in syd but he's scared because he's falling in love

 

[Cape]

sorry ... misinterpreted it ... perhaps you should have a long chat to him about how you feel about it all.

 

[Dynamix]

thats the worst problem, being in a no win situation- education has got to come first, but u dont want (them) to leave. It really sucks.

 

[Jezzabelle]

yeh, we are talking, we havent face to face yet tho...

sometimes i think i've convinced him, and then he'll go all stubborn again... its very tug-of-war imagery

 

[Senator04]

This is a really tough thing, but maybe he is right. If you doget to know each other better, he might fall in love and want to stay, (which I don't think u want from what uve said) or even worse if you do become attatched it may be one of those teary Casablanca style moments, when despite the fact that you love him, you may have to let him go for his betterment. Which would make it harder on you than it is now.

I think you should try and encourage him to have some fun in the time you have left, but try not to get too attached. One of my mates has had the same expereince, except the girl is going out of the country, they had fun when she was still here but didnt get overly attached.

BTW this might be little consolation, but I'm sure that if youve had four guys move out of the state on you recently a 5th one will come along really soon, and want to stay to be with you.

 

[Paulus]

Firstly, I don't think anything is wrong with you, though perhaps you could post this in the "unluckiest person" thread. I'm not sure if any advice from me is going to help too much; if you've been in a similar situation other times you should have a fair idea how things will play out - tho I can try and explain his point of view bcos I've been in a similar situation, and by no means should you believe his leaving is any reflection on you as a failing.

I met a girl whilst in Europe, and thought at first it fine to play around with no attachment, then thought - oh, better cut this off and not fall for someone 11 hours behind you, but did. It was devestating to leave, and distance relationships are well stressful. She said she wouldn't fall for anyone else, and so in the end I stopped replying to her in the hopes, for her sake, she would think me a bastard, move on and be happy. I'm not so arrogant as to assume I can make someone feel so strongly, but that's another problem with distance relationships, you can't truly gauge your partner's feelings.

If you're not with someone, you're distanced from their flaws and it is difficult to move away from the elevated image you have of them. It's a a valid call to say that it'll be difficult if you get close, and no matter how much you just want to play around before his leaving, it is difficult to command your feelings, and stop yourself from falling. So as I said, this may not be how you feel - you should know that much - but it could be how he feels, and therefore means there's nothing's wrong with you.

 

[neuro_logik]

Solution == Punch him in the mouth

 

[Cyph]

Solution == Punch him in the mouth

Ahh, a logical solution.. good man!

 

[AsyLum]

Jezzabelle, there is something wrong with you.

It seems you live in the wrong place Thats about it though.

 

[Shuter]

okies....

i think i am seriously cursed. Four guys in my lifetime I have fallen for and who have told me they loved me, have moved interstate and so broken up with me before they went because they didnt want to get to attatched.

perth, melbourne, newcastle(yeh its not interstate but... blah) and now adelaide...

*cry*

so not fair. nye he says (completely sober i might add) that he likes me lots, that he has never told a girl this before, but he thinks he loves me...

and today he says, he's been thinking a lot, and he's gotten too attatched to me already and doesnt want to hurt me when if he goes to adelaide so he wants to break things off!

Stop going for the ones with money, who hence have the ability to easily move interstate. Also stop believeing everything they tell you. "he has never told a girl this before" oh bullshit he's probably said it 20 times.

 

[rockstar01]

I know EXACTLY how u feel, my girlfriend has gone to melbourne for 5 days!

 

[Paulus]

That's not exactly "exaclty" the same feeling.

 

[spiny norman]

Well, I have a slightly more upbeat story about a long distance relationship.

My sister was at a pub when she met an English bloke. He was here for two years on a working VISA as an accountant (but he isn't a completely dull guy). He'd already been here for about half a year when they met, but not long afterwards they formed a relationship. The time came for him to leave back to England and they both decided for the better of the two of them they might as well break up.

A year passes, and neither of them has a relationship last more than one night. She gets a university degree in a Diploma of Education and accepts a job as a PD Teacher in the UK. They met, got back together again, have been together again for a year and when she comes back here to live in a year's time it is expected that he will come too and, my parents and I think, they are likely to eventually marry.

I realise this is very different as they are both in their mid-twenties and you, I am assuming, are not. But I think that you may as well make the most of the time you have together and let whatever will be to be, because God knows what the future shall bring.

 

[Senator04]

But I think that you may as well make the most of the time you have together and let whatever will be to be, because God knows what the future shall bring.

Yeah, thats a good suggestion. Roll with the punches, if ur spending time with him, he will remember why he sort of fell in love with you, and everything will be ok.

 

[Dejected]

Solution == Punch him in the mouth

a good punch never hurt anyone