what constitutes cheating? (1 Viewer)

LHZ309

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just dont over do it ...
presonally i think when ur havin feeling in other guys ... something must be wrong with the relationship !

if this happen 2 things is going to come after that
1. ur bf might start to think that he can no longer interest u
2. u and ur bf just gonna get further and further apart and ... break up comes afterwards

just opinion ... hope i helped
 

AsyLum

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Loz#1 said:
I wouldn't call it a crush, I'd say old feelings have come back into play even though I know there's no chance of ever having a relationship with guy no.2. So, as I've interpreted it, I still love my boyfriend but I feel like we're a bit too 'married' at the moment and guy no.2 is exciting, if that makes any sense at all.
Perhaps the honeymoon is over, and the real tests begin, are you in this for the long haul, if not, then try and let the dude down, I would hate to be dragged along and given that false hood. (having experienced it its not pretty)
 

Loz#1

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AsyLum said:
Perhaps the honeymoon is over, and the real tests begin, are you in this for the long haul, if not, then try and let the dude down, I would hate to be dragged along and given that false hood. (having experienced it its not pretty)
well true, but i'm kind of split down the middle. i see myself being in it for the long haul, but i also see myself having a bit of single fun. people have suggested breaks, but knowing me, it won't have the pretty ending that everything thinks it will. i just want us to be a bit more spontaneous and exciting.
 

AsyLum

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Well talk to him about it, I think thats the key if you want both parties to be happy :) Communication people, communication!
 

Loz#1

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doesn't matter anymore, guy no.2 isn't talking to me! woooo.
 

AsyLum

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Ahh rofl, always nice for things to work out?
 
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samcg

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my ex constituted licking tomato sauce off another guys chest (now my bf) as cheating.. even though i was drunk at the time..
 

King Tut

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aight well i think that emotional cheating stuff is a load of crap cos a lot of the time u cnt control it. If u still love d person ur with n u wanna be with em, then you're gunna ignore ur feelings with the other person. when u start acting on those feelings, even if it's not physical, like messaging all the time or phone calls all the time and flirting, then technically its not cheating, but you should be dumped and not waste your current bf/gf's time. im not gunna run through every scenario but anything physical beyond a kiss is definitely cheating n someone should severely hurt you (physically) for it. That whole friendship holding hands stuff....... i dno depends on how u interpret it. my gf n her best frend was like that n i told her that i thought she had feelings for him, she obviously denied it. i gave her a chance then bout 6 months later we broke up n 4 weeks after that she was with him.... go figure.

Anyway i don't see why best friends need to hold hands :S hugging..... umm look it can happen wen they say hi n bye but nothing excessive or remotely longer than it should be. i'm saying it straight out now for all the girls, if u got a male best frend n u hug him or are even a little bit touchy (even if its in a friendly way) ur bf's gunna get jealous. don't confront him cos he'll probably deny it but i'm telling he you will and he'll try and hide it for your sake so just take that into account :)

Loz i know the other guy isn't talk to you but look, i think you need to make a decision as to who you want to be with. But Asylum hit the nail on the head, now the real test begins. A lot of people give up or quit as soon as things get tough, and the problem you have now is the reason for most marriage break ups - apart from cheating. When things get a bit dull n boring instead of working on it, they go find someone that they see as fun and spontaneous which often leads to cheating. But the thing most people forget, is one of the main reasons you're going out with the person is because you found him interesting and fun. So yeh talk to him, spice things up if you have to.... or just do something fun that will both get your hearts racing instead of the usual stay at home movies.

I say talk to him because he might be thinking the same as you, except he's too scared to talk about it like you, but if you n him don't talk about it, you'll both jus slowly drift apart...
 
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Loz#1

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samcg said:
my ex constituted licking tomato sauce off another guys chest (now my bf) as cheating.. even though i was drunk at the time..
i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
 

flipsyde

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Once it breaks the emotional barrier of 'more than a friend' it constitutes as cheating. If my bf hugs another chick (i.e. a friend, or even if we're out and meet people that night that we have become friends with) I dont have a probelm with that.. I hug my guy friends all the time.. A kiss on the cheek is also fine with me as well. A kiss on the lips is pushing it a bit but if its a friend with no emotion affection that exceeds beyond the meaning of a goodbye or hello kiss, then I could deal with it. I wouldnt be happy about it, but I could accept it. Adding to that kiss, it would have to be a peck, I wouldnt tolerate anything more than a goobye or hello peck.

Once its a kiss/hug/holding hands (or more) than goes beyond meaning friends, then that IS cheating. That I dont tolerate, you cheat, you're gone!

As for looking...well come on all guys look. I dont have a problem with my bf checking aout another chick becasue to be honest if there's a hot guy walking around (especially shirtless) I'm going to look, he cant stop me. Once the look goes beyond going 'Oooo0' and him having thoughts beyond just going "shes hawt"... I wouldnt consider THAT cheating but i'd be annoyed at it. Ive given my bf permission to look at other chicks. I want to be able to look at other guys, and besides hes going to look regardless. I'd rather know about it then have him do it behind my back. My bfs office at work has women in bikinis..mainly female wrestlers whomb hed never have a chance with anyway, so y'know what... looking is fine with me.

King Tut, you're right about the whole male best friend thing to.
 
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King Tut

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flipsyde said:
A kiss on the lips is pushing it a bit but if its a friend with no emotion affection that exceeds beyond the meaning of a goodbye or hello kiss, then I could deal with it. I wouldnt be happy about it, but I could accept it. Adding to that kiss, it would have to be a peck, I wouldnt tolerate anything more than a goobye or hello peck.
a kiss on the lips??? a kiss on the lips isnt what friends do, THATS when it starts becomin more than friends. friends kiss on the cheeck when sayin hello and goodbye. you kiss your gf/bf on the lips when you say hello n goodbye. how can you bring your friend up to the same level as your gf/bf???

n about the whole checkin out other guys or girls thing, i guess its fine as long you dont make it obvious when your with then...... cos 1. a lot of the time they'll think ur not interested in them n 2. its just plain rude.
 
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Loz#1

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King Tut said:
a kiss on the lips??? a kiss on the lips isnt what friends do, THATS when it starts becomin more than friends. friends kiss on the cheeck when sayin hello and goodbye. you kiss your gf/bf on the lips when you say hello n goodbye. how can you bring your friend up to the same level as your gf/bf???

n about the whole checkin out other guys or girls thing, i guess its fine as long you dont make it obvious when your with then...... cos 1. a lot of the time they'll think ur not interested in them n 2. its just plain rude.
my friends are just as important to me as my bf and if someone wants a peck on the lips, they'll get it. i'm sure when flipsyde said 'kiss', she meant a peck, not an outright pash. geez.

and my boyfriend knows when i'm checking out guys and i know when he's checking out girls and we all have a big laugh. relationships don't have be so...stuffy.
 

King Tut

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yeh i know she meant just a peck...she said that
flipsyde said:
Adding to that kiss, it would have to be a peck, I wouldnt tolerate anything more than a goobye or hello peck.
n i agree with everythin else she said, but u dnt go kissin anyone - regardless of who they are, or what type of kiss - while you're goin out with some1.

Can i just ask why u feel the need to kiss one of ur best frends on the lips? even if its just a peck, what happened to a kiss on the cheeck?

n bout the hole checkin out other ppl, its fine but a lot of the time it makes the other person feel like they're not there or you're not interested in them or something along those lines. it may be okay in your current relationship and even in a few others but not everyone's. its not about it being "stuffy", its just that sometimes u gotta respect the other person, like my friend was out with his gf n her friends, n of course all the girls were checkin out guys n woteva, n she was sittin on his lap but the thing that i really find ignorant and disrespectful, is his gf turns around while she's on his lap, n jus goes fuk he's hot! (about another guy)
i noe im not the only 1 that see's it that way cos i knew 1 of the girls in that group of girls and she said they were all jus quiet after that. they said it was slak n u shuldn do it while ur bf is around n u noe wot, theyre aboslutely right
 

Loz#1

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i seriously gave up attempting to read your post thanks to the serious lack of correct spelling so i'll just answer what i processed.

i don't automatically go round kissing my friends on the lips, but if they want to, i'll do it because they're close to me and i know my boyfriend would understand that and he'd probably do the same thing.
 

flipsyde

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Loz#1 said:
i seriously gave up attempting to read your post thanks to the serious lack of correct spelling so i'll just answer what i processed.

i don't automatically go round kissing my friends on the lips, but if they want to, i'll do it because they're close to me and i know my boyfriend would understand that and he'd probably do the same thing.
I agree with Loz here on both accounts..learn to spell, and I dont care if its a platonic peck. Like Loz I dont go around kissing my friends on the lips, but if they wanted a peck then meh... same with him. With my bf his best friend is a chick (and mines a guy), they grew up together. She loves in qld and he lives in sydney. They havent seen eachother in ages, so if it were a peck on the lips Id be fine with that.

As for looking, I again agree with Loz, if him bf looks at other chicks and goes "shes hot" I do ":eek: hey! " as a joke... then I laugh and he laughs to. Its funny. Its just looking and it certainly doesnt make me feel unwanted.
 

King Tut

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its not lack of spelling, its called abbreviations. n im not criticising you two so how about relaxing a bit. i'm just asking what happened to a kiss on the cheeck? n i still stand by my point that you shouldn't kiss anyone apart from your bf/gf, even if it is just a peck.
 

Loz#1

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kisses on the cheeks still exist, there's nothing wrong with a little peck elsewhere.
and don't tell me to relax.
 

Skeeta

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King Tut said:
a kiss on the lips??? a kiss on the lips isnt what friends do, THATS when it starts becomin more than friends.
Actually... It depends who you are and where you are from. It also depends on your relationships with people.

In YOUR opinion, this may be true, but.. for example. If i was a lip-kisser to all of my friends (male/female) before my b/f came along.. why should i stop? It wasnt sexual before, and it probably isnt now. They're not exes or anyone i've ever slept with (or wanted to!).

So dude... be a bit more open.. seriously..
 

King Tut

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Skeeta said:
In YOUR opinion, this may be true
Exactly, MY opinion. I wasn't speaking on behalf of anyone else nor did i even come remotely close to it. It's my opinion and you don't necessarily have to agree with it. Obviously what I say reflects what i've encountered and heard in my life, however just because you don't agree with it, doesn't make me entirely wrong or you entirely right.

Skeeta said:
It wasnt sexual before, and it probably isnt now.
Alright, let's say i was to consider kissing friends while i was in a relationship . Yes your right in saying this, probably isn't now, but there's still that chance that it might be. What if it does become sexual? May not happen intentionally but it still might happen. And this is what i mean, by doing this, you'are opening the window for a relationship that's more than friends to develop.

I'm not going to even bother trying to explain my other point, about not kissing friends on the lips while you've got a bf/gf, because i don't think you're up for the discussion without getting too fired up, which i don't see the point of, since its a discussion not a personal attack.
 
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