It's kinda sad that I've just sort of accepted that I can't study, it's too late to learn and that I suck at life. Which is, you know, excessively morbid and irrational but I lack any motivation whatsoever.
Basically my attitude is that as long as I'm not failing, I'm doing fine. Also, 'cause I'm at a selective school I keep telling myself that average here is still better than the averages at most schools, which is well, a lie. So I kinda wish I'd fail at something in order to get the motivation to not fail. Make sense...?
All you people with friends/family/enemies to compete against are lucky...