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What the hell are woman thinking! (1 Viewer)

SipSip

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Ok...i think some of you may know that I broke up with my gf recently.

So based on some of the advice, I've decided it's time to pick myself up a bit; clean up and move on, see different people.

I still see my ex...which is not normaly but i can deal with it enough now to be completely normal and happy that we've broken up. I also told her I agree with the breakup and we both need space.

Tonight we are going to class together; she drove, but i have to go somewhere after class, so she's dropping me home then I'm going out - also normal.

The thing that is not normal is, she's been acting a bit strange and asking where i'm going and who i'm going with; and when i say i prefer not to tell, she gets angry and starts saying "you know i don't care one thing about who you're with, you don't need to make it sound mysterious and stuff!"

Then she would get angry at the smallest things and she is still angry with me now.

So my question to guys and girls, is, what the hell is she thinking...one moment she dumps me, the next she gets angry at the smallest thing at me. plus...what gives her the right to get angry at me.
Secondly...do woman or people as a matter of fact, say "you know i don't care" when they really don't care?

I dunno...when i told her i'm going out with another friend she doesn't know; she just went quiet...

so...does that mean woman just don't want men to move on when you dump them...so i'm not allowed to be ok... o_O
 

Kirsty Xx

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I remember you...

I'd say she still feels for you, and I reckon she's keeping tabs on you now.

It probably makes her feel better that you could possibly be thinking over the relationship you two had and how much of an impact she had on you. She probably likes the fact that you may not be able to move on from her... even though you are now, she isn't handling it too well.

Mehh I guess she's trying to hold you back now because she isn't ready to completely let go herself.
 

Jess007

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well, as a female. the last thing you said
' woman just don't want men to move on when you dump them'

i reckon its just a way of us dealing with the fact that youve found someone else and that someone is better suited to us. even though she agreed to the break up, i guess she might still be hurt from that fact.

the fact that you still see each other might remind her of everything you did together ( how long were u going out for anyway) and seeing you walk away from her might hit home, knowing your meeting other friends.

i guess time will allow her to let you go for good, she might also be scared of being alone ( without u to turn to) and the way she is acting is the only way she can or knows how to react to everything that went on?

i think thats the best way i can personaly interpret everything youve said...

your allowed to be okay, and showing her that your okay without her will hit home to her...
 

SipSip

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Jess007 said:
well, as a female. the last thing you said
' woman just don't want men to move on when you dump them'

i reckon its just a way of us dealing with the fact that youve found someone else and that someone is better suited to us. even though she agreed to the break up, i guess she might still be hurt from that fact.

the fact that you still see each other might remind her of everything you did together ( how long were u going out for anyway) and seeing you walk away from her might hit home, knowing your meeting other friends.

i guess time will allow her to let you go for good, she might also be scared of being alone ( without u to turn to) and the way she is acting is the only way she can or knows how to react to everything that went on?

i think thats the best way i can personaly interpret everything youve said...

your allowed to be okay, and showing her that your okay without her will hit home to her...
GOD! you girls are incredible with your comments

Well, we've been going out for 2 years, very strong years that just suddenly collapsed within a 3 week period.

Reason...she dumped me because she was confused by some other guy at work; and as a bf, I think i have done everything very nicely to her, and also have stayed loyal no matter what.

Now the situation is...now that i am going to meet up with friends, she chucks a full anger fit and ask me questions; and when i say "i don't want to talk about this now"; she just says annoyingly "you know i don't care about it, and you don't have to make it sound so mysterious" - but the thing is...if she didn't care, she wouldn't say it...makes me confused.

I doubt i will move on to someone else; since that it's kinda unfair for the new and old. but the thing is...if she is the one who breaks it off, then why is she trying to hold on and get angry at small things.

More plainly said, i don't believe it is her right to get angry...

Kirsty Xx. what do you mean by keeping tabs on me??
 

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SipSip said:
The thing that is not normal is, she's been acting a bit strange and asking where i'm going and who i'm going with; and when i say i prefer not to tell, she gets angry and starts saying "you know i don't care one thing about who you're with, you don't need to make it sound mysterious and stuff!"
If you said you'd be friends. Be friends. Don't keep shit from her. She may/may not care, but just be open/honest... even if it means telling her you're banging prostitutes/working as a grill boy at McDonalds/taking photos of small children
 

Kirsty Xx

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TABS?

She probably feels more secure by exactly knowing what you are doing and what you will be doing since you two broke up.

By keeping the tabs, she knows how fast you are moving after the relationship and whether it is further away from her. She's probably subtly asking you what you're doing and gets angry as a cover that she "doesn't care what you do now". But seriously, she probably does care.
 

Jess007

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yeh if she she didnt care she shouldnt even think about asking questions like that, i understand that. and if shes confused by someone at work, then she shouldnt be worried at who your seeing she should work out her little situation. gah, and by the time she realises that shes made the worst decision of her life, losing somenoe who treated her perfectly and was loyal honest ( etc etc) like u say u are/were....

as i said before, shes holding to u because shes probably not over you in the slightest, yes, confused about whats going on but she knows how much u mean to her, and i reckon her knowing that one day ( either soon or in teh future) you'll havea nother girlfriend who you'll be loving the way you did to her, ( ive been in a long term relationship, coming up 2 years soon) and i think if iw as confused with someother bloke @ my work, i would be thinking about the past relationship with my bf ive had and why this guy is confusing...

chances r she still is thining about u constantly, and losing you is hard, and knowing youll neve rbe hers again is harder... and maybe she knows shes madea mistake? i donno.... lol

our comments are great :D
 

SipSip

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Jess007 said:
yeh if she she didnt care she shouldnt even think about asking questions like that, i understand that. and if shes confused by someone at work, then she shouldnt be worried at who your seeing she should work out her little situation. gah, and by the time she realises that shes made the worst decision of her life, losing somenoe who treated her perfectly and was loyal honest ( etc etc) like u say u are/were....

as i said before, shes holding to u because shes probably not over you in the slightest, yes, confused about whats going on but she knows how much u mean to her, and i reckon her knowing that one day ( either soon or in teh future) you'll havea nother girlfriend who you'll be loving the way you did to her, ( ive been in a long term relationship, coming up 2 years soon) and i think if iw as confused with someother bloke @ my work, i would be thinking about the past relationship with my bf ive had and why this guy is confusing...

chances r she still is thining about u constantly, and losing you is hard, and knowing youll neve rbe hers again is harder... and maybe she knows shes madea mistake? i donno.... lol

our comments are great :D
Yeah, your comments are great!

And as I said, I do not intend to find someone so quickly, since that i believe it's unfair for anyone.

She really managed to hurt me with the breakup and now if what you said was/is true, I think my job is not to take her back, but to really seriously think about what I want.

In terms of treating her well, I think I have done an incredible job as a bf, such as caring about her family; looking after her, just the typical nice guy stuff; and loyalty, yes, I am an extreme believer in that, if you make someone like you, I take it as a responsibility to a degree.

The thing is, I have seen her in the past week, and also have still given her gifts, (not really sure why though? i don't think getting her is the aim...ask me this later)...but the thing is, i still have dinner with her and her family, and they don't seem to be aware of the incident.

This is really in a way annoying me and devaluing her in my eyes, and the way she is getting angry over the smallest things (like deciding dinner place after class; and then when i say no..she cracks it) I just really don't understand...

I want to be able to at least recover and move on, and the fact that she is still tyring to ask questions that only a gf can ask is just making things worst for her.

I'm not really concerned with whether she wants to get back together anymore, but instead what is happening and what she is thinking.

Do all women regret and get angry over all these things, and if you do...why did you dump us in the first place.
 

Muz4PM

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SipSip said:
Ok...i think some of you may know that I broke up with my gf recently.

So based on some of the advice, I've decided it's time to pick myself up a bit; clean up and move on, see different people.

I still see my ex...which is not normaly but i can deal with it enough now to be completely normal and happy that we've broken up. I also told her I agree with the breakup and we both need space.

Tonight we are going to class together; she drove, but i have to go somewhere after class, so she's dropping me home then I'm going out - also normal.

The thing that is not normal is, she's been acting a bit strange and asking where i'm going and who i'm going with; and when i say i prefer not to tell, she gets angry and starts saying "you know i don't care one thing about who you're with, you don't need to make it sound mysterious and stuff!"

Then she would get angry at the smallest things and she is still angry with me now.

So my question to guys and girls, is, what the hell is she thinking...one moment she dumps me, the next she gets angry at the smallest thing at me. plus...what gives her the right to get angry at me.
Secondly...do woman or people as a matter of fact, say "you know i don't care" when they really don't care?

I dunno...when i told her i'm going out with another friend she doesn't know; she just went quiet...

so...does that mean woman just don't want men to move on when you dump them...so i'm not allowed to be ok... o_O
Firstly, well done, you broke up, it must have been a hard decision, but good to see you going back out there looking.

Now, for the problem at hand. I think that she liked the fact that she could still rely on you if the person she liked didn't like her, she probably still harbours some feelings for you.

Now, whatever you do, don't try and understand what a woman thinks, you will go insane, just enjoy the relationship you have/had/ may have. Second, I think that you should just tell her that you are going out, like anyone else goes out, to have fun. I don't think you should shroud it with secrecy per se, but just talk about it in general terms. I think she still cares for you, and has some feelings, and wants to know how fast you are moving away from her.
 

Jess007

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In terms of treating her well, I think I have done an incredible job as a bf, such as caring about her family; looking after her, just the typical nice guy stuff; and loyalty, yes, I am an extreme believer in that, if you make someone like you, I take it as a responsibility to a degree. yeh i agree, all those things are important.

The thing is, I have seen her in the past week, and also have still given her gifts, (not really sure why though? i don't think getting her is the aim...ask me this later)...but the thing is, i still have dinner with her and her family, and they don't seem to be aware of the incident. ill guess ill ask u later about the gifts, but ill get you ready for wat ill ask lol, was there an occasion and wat kind of gifts, this is probably giving her hope that maybe shes has madea mistake and by u giving her gifts its told her thats its okay and that youll get back together once she sorts everything out?. hrmm, her family needto know, its up to her to tell them i guess, or u can talk to a family member that uw ere the closest to? maybe her dad or something ?

This is really in a way annoying me and devaluing her in my eyes, and the way she is getting angry over the smallest things (like deciding dinner place after class; and then when i say no..she cracks it) I just really don't understand...

I want to be able to at least recover and move on, and the fact that she is still tyring to ask questions that only a gf can ask is just making things worst for her.- i reckon if you just show her that your getting through it all, it will make her realise she should do. just be blunt to her. no matte rhow much it may hurt u or her, just tell her straight out. i reckon, try not to see her as often but if its hard not to see her ( like u live near or same group of friends) just tell her youll find your own way places ? it sounds harsh but i reckon if shes acting like she ur gf when shes the one who dumped you, then she needs a slap in the face ( i wouldnt do that....australia says no to that one lol )


I'm not really concerned with whether she wants to get back together anymore, but instead what is happening and what she is thinking.- well, i reckon with her acting like your gf she probly wants to get back together or at least hang on to u for as long as possible, shes fucked up, she knows it :)

Do all women regret and get angry over all these things, and if you do...why did you dump us in the first place.- we r the moodiest 'things' in history. if she got confused and dumped you like right away when she was confused, u said it was a 3 week period that it all went downhill, then it might of gone too quickly for her to know what she did and wat she said... throwing away a relationship of 2 years, within 3weeks, everyone would have regrets...

who knows why she dumped u in the first place, as u said before, your more interested in finding out why she dumped you and so forth, jsut ask her, which u probly have....
 

SipSip

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Jess007 said:


In terms of treating her well, I think I have done an incredible job as a bf, such as caring about her family; looking after her, just the typical nice guy stuff; and loyalty, yes, I am an extreme believer in that, if you make someone like you, I take it as a responsibility to a degree. yeh i agree, all those things are important.

The thing is, I have seen her in the past week, and also have still given her gifts, (not really sure why though? i don't think getting her is the aim...ask me this later)...but the thing is, i still have dinner with her and her family, and they don't seem to be aware of the incident. ill guess ill ask u later about the gifts, but ill get you ready for wat ill ask lol, was there an occasion and wat kind of gifts, this is probably giving her hope that maybe shes has madea mistake and by u giving her gifts its told her thats its okay and that youll get back together once she sorts everything out?. hrmm, her family needto know, its up to her to tell them i guess, or u can talk to a family member that uw ere the closest to? maybe her dad or something ?

This is really in a way annoying me and devaluing her in my eyes, and the way she is getting angry over the smallest things (like deciding dinner place after class; and then when i say no..she cracks it) I just really don't understand...

I want to be able to at least recover and move on, and the fact that she is still tyring to ask questions that only a gf can ask is just making things worst for her.- i reckon if you just show her that your getting through it all, it will make her realise she should do. just be blunt to her. no matte rhow much it may hurt u or her, just tell her straight out. i reckon, try not to see her as often but if its hard not to see her ( like u live near or same group of friends) just tell her youll find your own way places ? it sounds harsh but i reckon if shes acting like she ur gf when shes the one who dumped you, then she needs a slap in the face ( i wouldnt do that....australia says no to that one lol )


I'm not really concerned with whether she wants to get back together anymore, but instead what is happening and what she is thinking.- well, i reckon with her acting like your gf she probly wants to get back together or at least hang on to u for as long as possible, shes fucked up, she knows it :)

Do all women regret and get angry over all these things, and if you do...why did you dump us in the first place.- we r the moodiest 'things' in history. if she got confused and dumped you like right away when she was confused, u said it was a 3 week period that it all went downhill, then it might of gone too quickly for her to know what she did and wat she said... throwing away a relationship of 2 years, within 3weeks, everyone would have regrets...

who knows why she dumped u in the first place, as u said before, your more interested in finding out why she dumped you and so forth, jsut ask her, which u probly have....
Woah, thanks for the analysis, really appreciate that!

As for gifts...just stupid little things like...chocolates that i saw was on special which she normally likes; a box full of useful stuff for her work; and just billy elliot tickets because there was a discount on my amex so thought i'll just get it for the sake of it (yes i spend a lot...for no reason)...and honestly...me giving her those gifts really doesn't make me feel like i want to be with her...i think it's just a habit...

The thing is...i don't know whether i'm completely "over" her...but on a more selfish note (i want to be selfish for once!) is that i don't want her to be over me just yet....does this sound mean?

I don't know what she wants when she's still acting like a gf...but not...because i am sure if i go and say "wanna give this another go." she will refuse...so with her acting this way...it's kinda weird...

I think your mentioning of the fact that she dumped me for someone she is confused about for 3 weeks is probably something that also is a bit hard to believe...and maybe the feelings are beginning to settle in...but the thing is...i don't know what will happen..

I can try and get on with my life and let things pan out...but gotta admit...it's something that needs an ending...
 

Jess007

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SipSip said:
Woah, thanks for the analysis, really appreciate that! well its 4pm and bold and the beautiful is on..so i have nothing else to do..kidding im glad i can help :) or at least give you advice or words of wisdom? from a female perspective :p

As for gifts...just stupid little things like...chocolates that i saw was on special which she normally likes; a box full of useful stuff for her work; and just billy elliot tickets because there was a discount on my amex so thought i'll just get it for the sake of it (yes i spend a lot...for no reason)...and honestly...me giving her those gifts really doesn't make me feel like i want to be with her...i think it's just a habit... wow billy elliot ticks lol jealous :p hrmm yeh the habbit, maybe they r keeping hope alive in her eyes.but yeh, going from one big thing to no contact ( gf/bf/ way is difficult )

The thing is...i don't know whether i'm completely "over" her...but on a more selfish note (i want to be selfish for once!) is that i don't want her to be over me just yet....does this sound mean? yeh thats wat i was saying she was like before as in ' he couldnt be over me yet, so ill keep being like a gf' and i can understand that, the fact that if she was over you, would hurt *nods*

I don't know what she wants when she's still acting like a gf...but not...because i am sure if i go and say "wanna give this another go." she will refuse...so with her acting this way...it's kinda weird...it all comes back to the guy @ work and the amount of time she needs to figure it all out, tell he rthat a) u either do or dont want to get back together b) she needs to figure it out herself c) needs to stop acting like your gf when SHE broke up with you..

I think your mentioning of the fact that she dumped me for someone she is confused about for 3 weeks is probably something that also is a bit hard to believe...and maybe the feelings are beginning to settle in...but the thing is...i don't know what will happen.. she cant get over u within 3 weeks though... and she regrets it...thats why shes stilla cting like a gf and not off withthe other work dude all the time...

I can try and get on with my life and let things pan out...but gotta admit...it's something that needs an ending yeh i reckon it needs ending for sure!! just confront her...tell her to go and sort it out... whether or not youll be there in the end....

just do wats best for you in the end * nods*


how old r u by the way? lol sorry just so i know?
 

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Jess007 said:
SipSip said:
Woah, thanks for the analysis, really appreciate that! well its 4pm and bold and the beautiful is on..so i have nothing else to do..kidding im glad i can help :) or at least give you advice or words of wisdom? from a female perspective :p

As for gifts...just stupid little things like...chocolates that i saw was on special which she normally likes; a box full of useful stuff for her work; and just billy elliot tickets because there was a discount on my amex so thought i'll just get it for the sake of it (yes i spend a lot...for no reason)...and honestly...me giving her those gifts really doesn't make me feel like i want to be with her...i think it's just a habit... wow billy elliot ticks lol jealous :p hrmm yeh the habbit, maybe they r keeping hope alive in her eyes.but yeh, going from one big thing to no contact ( gf/bf/ way is difficult )

The thing is...i don't know whether i'm completely "over" her...but on a more selfish note (i want to be selfish for once!) is that i don't want her to be over me just yet....does this sound mean? yeh thats wat i was saying she was like before as in ' he couldnt be over me yet, so ill keep being like a gf' and i can understand that, the fact that if she was over you, would hurt *nods*

I don't know what she wants when she's still acting like a gf...but not...because i am sure if i go and say "wanna give this another go." she will refuse...so with her acting this way...it's kinda weird...it all comes back to the guy @ work and the amount of time she needs to figure it all out, tell he rthat a) u either do or dont want to get back together b) she needs to figure it out herself c) needs to stop acting like your gf when SHE broke up with you..

I think your mentioning of the fact that she dumped me for someone she is confused about for 3 weeks is probably something that also is a bit hard to believe...and maybe the feelings are beginning to settle in...but the thing is...i don't know what will happen.. she cant get over u within 3 weeks though... and she regrets it...thats why shes stilla cting like a gf and not off withthe other work dude all the time...

I can try and get on with my life and let things pan out...but gotta admit...it's something that needs an ending yeh i reckon it needs ending for sure!! just confront her...tell her to go and sort it out... whether or not youll be there in the end....

just do wats best for you in the end * nods*


how old r u by the way? lol sorry just so i know?

I am 22...well...was 21 like a month ago...

Must say...female perspective is incredibly great to know about for once....and mayeb because you don't know her, makes it easier to make comments as well. Although it also risks the fact that you guys don't know my flaws.

Yeah, I think it will be hard to just completely break it off...and I dont think we both want to break it off...the thing is if i say i want her back...she will definitely say no...but if i do nothing...these stupid arguments will come up... Yes...billy elliot....amex concierge organized it so that they bought the tickets and then wrapped it up nice and sent it to her office. I think it's just a habit that i buy things for her.

I don't get your comment, so you're saying...because she is worried "he can't be over me yet" she will continue to act like a gf...what's the rationale on that?? isnt' that just selfish on her part to do that...i mean it's not me breaking it off...btw...love your *nods*

I think the best way is to let her figure it out herself...she understands the notion of "don't shit where you eat" but i dunno...i can't bad mouth the guy either because as much as i know about him...and understand the things that are not good about him...any words coming from me is just gonna sound like a petty attempt to get her back instead of for her good...

I think she sees the guy and talks to the guy at work...might sms as well...but no...i don't think they have seen each other outside of work...and i dunno what she wants in terms of that...what do you mean she can't get over me in 3 weeks...she seems to be doing fine!

Yeah...i think i need to consider what i need instead of thinking of her first as i'm use to...but in terms of confronting...she knows...just that her actions are not helping...
 

Jess007

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SipSip said:
Jess007 said:
I am 22...well...was 21 like a month ago...cool coool cooool

Must say...female perspective is incredibly great to know about for once....and mayeb because you don't know her, makes it easier to make comments as well. Although it also risks the fact that you guys don't know my flaws.yeh agreed, if she was one of my friends, or i knew her, id be less...honest? lol. what are your flaws haha

Yeah, I think it will be hard to just completely break it off...and I dont think we both want to break it off...the thing is if i say i want her back...she will definitely say no...but if i do nothing...these stupid arguments will come up... Yes...billy elliot....amex concierge organized it so that they bought the tickets and then wrapped it up nice and sent it to her office. I think it's just a habit that i buy things for her.just talk to her, tell her bluntly, ask her everything you want to know...

I don't get your comment, so you're saying...because she is worried "he can't be over me yet" she will continue to act like a gf yeh i reckon she just wants the bet of both worlds...i dont know, sounds a bit extreme though for that to happen...what's the rationale on that?? isnt' that just selfish on her part to do that...i mean it's not me breaking it off...btw...love your *nods*yeh i know my neck does me proud.. lol, sounds, strange? and...?????lol

I think the best way is to let her figure it out herself...she understands the notion of "don't shit where you eat" but i dunno...i can't bad mouth the guy either because as much as i know about him...and understand the things that are not good about him...any words coming from me is just gonna sound like a petty attempt to get her back instead of for her good...yeh just give her space, see her when u have to, stop the gifts i reckon, and start thinking of you and not her, do whats best for you,

I think she sees the guy and talks to the guy at work...might sms as well...but no...i don't think they have seen each other outside of work...and i dunno what she wants in terms of that...what do you mean she can't get over me in 3 weeks...she seems to be doing fine!ahh what a damn fool she is... * shakes head*

Yeah...i think i need to consider what i need instead of thinking of her first as i'm use to...but in terms of confronting...she knows...just that her actions are not helping...yeh put urself first!!

 

a-n-d-r-e-w

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wow jess007, ur a real relationship buff arent you? wish u could sort out my relationship problems
 

Pace_T

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well apparently she knows a whole lot more than the guy asking for advice (no offense to anybody) so let her write her essays :D
 

Pace_T

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catzhernandez said:
Hi Pace T,

I tried uploading a moving avatar similar to yours but it said I wasn't able to.

Why is that?...Thanking you in advance.

im not sure. mines a .gif image though, hope that helps!
 

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