When his mate likes your partner... (1 Viewer)

[Aralia]

Oh my, I was in the exact same situation a year ago. I still have the scars.

My b.f.'s ex-friend (female) hit on him when he told her about the problems we're having. Back in late 2006, I'd been promising him that I'd see him more after uni finished, but dad wanted me to get a job (my first). I landed in a job which ended up with me in hospital with an ulcer.

Throughout that time my b.f. had been feeling distant from me, abandoned etc. He couldn't reach out to me. So he turned to his long-term female friend for solutions. It ended up with her bitching about me and convincing him that he was been "emotionally blackmailed" by me. He felt a bit flattered with the attention. Nothing else happend. That one conversation happend online.

Cutting to the chase: I fumed, bigtime. I ended up telling him that he had to cut contact with her or he'd lose me. He'd lost respect for her anyway but felt that cutting contact was a bit too far. There were some more grief when one of our mutual friends had an 18th to which we were both invited but didn't go because of that girl.

It was the only way I could feel at peace, though. He doesn't like her in that way, although she did. I hope that's the end of it and she doesn't come back.

 

[Born2baplacebo]

I snapped last night.

He left his shaving stuff at my place so I was trying to call him to try and tell him to meet at coles at 6 if he wanted his stuff, but he wasn't answering my messages nor was he answering my phone calls and eventually ended up turning phone off on me.
So I went around to his place and I said to myself that I was gonna hit the roof I see a P plater outside his house. Guess what? There was one and it was the evil bitch from hell.
I knocked at his bedroom door (he shares a house with an old folk) and he opened it. The first thing I saw wasn't him. It was her nicely cuddled up in his blankets, with clothes on (I said to myself "the joke's on you the bed smells of sex anyway") then I saw him and I was so ready to slap that bitch senseless but I restrained myself.
So then I find out that they were "playing chess" and that's why he didn't want to talk to me before. Then it was about 3 hours later when she messaged him saying how "bad she felt with me walking in" and that "can I have a ciggy at your place??" and then I hit the roof with him about her.
She's appealing to him completely!! She does all the stuff that he can't get me to do, like play chess!! She brought her own chess set over !! And apparently "she understands me better than you do" he said to me. OMG. Then he told me that he had brought out his art book and showed it to her DESPITE the fact that I had been complaining that I wanted to see his art book and yet, he's never shown it to me but showed it to her, despite the fact his original intention was that I was supposed to see it first apparently.
I said to him that I don't want them hanging out his bedroom or anywhere near his house.
And the annoying thing is, she's so nice to my face and yet, she was telling him to break up with me....what a mole...I'm ready to start a fucking uni flame war with that stupid little slut. She has other friends that she go talk to about her insomnia, and get it, he's ALREADY met her parents...

I am going to slap that bitch senseless.

 

[michael1990]

Maybe everyone is a little too flirty? ? ?

 

[goony]

put it in her butt

 

[Born2baplacebo]

No. She needs to learn not to fuck around with people's boyfriends.

 

[Ennaybur]

I thought you said she was 12?

Did you lie to bos?

 

[i-love-maynard]

If this is getting to you so much talk to HIM about it. Let him know how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way. Keep in mind that he is allowed to keep girl mates and that you do not own him. However, judging from what you've written I think she's trying to steal him off you. Before you crack the shits at him, try to look at it from his point of view. Maybe he sees their relationship as harmless and completely innocent? Your boyfriend is probably completely oblivious to this slut's advances, so don't take it out on him. If she wants to play this game, beat her at it. Fight for your man and be the conniving bitch we all know you are.

 

[Born2baplacebo]

If this is getting to you so much talk to HIM about it. Let him know how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way. Keep in mind that he is allowed to keep girl mates and that you do not own him. However, judging from what you've written I think she's trying to steal him off you. Before you crack the shits at him, try to look at it from his point of view. Maybe he sees their relationship as harmless and completely innocent? Your boyfriend is probably completely oblivious to this slut's advances, so don't take it out on him. If she wants to play this game, beat her at it. Fight for your man and be the conniving bitch we all know you are.

I've tried telling him that I've played this game with boys before and I know the tricks of the trade. He just shok me off like a pest. I never said that he was not allowed to see her, but I wanted it done in different environments rather than just in his bedroom.

 

[Tulipa]

It sounds like he's as much a willing participant. Yes, she may have instigated it or whatever but he seems to think it's not a big deal and is happy to spend time with her

Explain that it makes you uncomfortable and that you're not willing to put up with it much longer, especially if she's trying to influence your relationship.

 

[Aralia]

I hate it when guys think it's no big deal and then it's too late to get out of the trap those girls have dug for them. Relationship over.

If he's really oblivious, then confront him, yeah...but it seems like you've already done that and he's not exactly the patient type, is he?!

I quiz my b.f. about any girl now, he only has a few anyway, maybe none...he understands when I get suspicious and that's when I trust him to make his own decisions. A good outcome of the little scenario we'd had, then.

Whatever you do, point it out to him again and again if there's a real threat, but please, have some class when you're arguing.

P.s. When you're at the beach and holding sand, you don't squeeze your hand or it'll slip quietly away. Same thing here, don't "strangle" him. You have to hold him firmly, but not too much. If it's better to let go, then do so. Give love a chance to live. Try your best, but take care if there's any physical fights.

 

[Evilo]

shave her head bald.

 

[Riet]

Stop hanging around with 24 year old guys.

 

[Pace_T]

i just want to point out that not evertime the guy is oblivious. some like to play dumb. its more fun that way, cause the moment he openly recognises a different girl is flirting with him, his gf will demand that he stop having contact with her.
by playing dumb he can get the best of both worlds!

 

[jb_nc]

Born2baplacebo
This message is hidden because Born2baplacebo is on your ignore list.

 

[i-love-maynard]

On second thoughts, maybe you should dump his arse. How long have you guys been together and how serious is the relationship?

 

[Conspiracy?]

Let her have him, you're probably better off (since he obviously doesn't want to be controlled by you anyway).

Go screw his [male] best mate.

Everyone wins.

 

[Sylar23]

I thought you said she was 12?

Did you lie to bos?

12 years old you say?

Just send her here. http://www.kupols.net/oldsite/pedobear.jpg

 

[Conspiracy?]

Except the male mate, unless he has a paper bag handy.

Make it a slab, and a paper bag handy. Even then, possibly do-able.

 

[Aralia]

ditch the zero


get yourself an hero (read: me :uhhuh

Born, he'd just tried to hit on me in the meat pies thread. Such a creep...

 

[~Fire Jade~]

I knocked at his bedroom door (he shares a house with an old folk) and he opened it. The first thing I saw wasn't him. It was her nicely cuddled up in his blankets, with clothes on (I said to myself "the joke's on you the bed smells of sex anyway") then I saw him and I was so ready to .....And apparently "she understands me better than you do" he said to me. OMG. Then he told me that he had brought out his art book and showed it to her DESPITE the fact that I had been complaining that I wanted to see his art book and yet, he's never shown it to me but showed it to her, despite the fact his original intention was that I was supposed to see it first apparently.
I said to him that I don't want them hanging out his bedroom or anywhere near his house.
And the annoying thing is, she's so nice to my face and yet, she was telling him to break up with me....what a mole...I'm ready to start a fucking uni flame war with that stupid little slut. She has other friends that she go talk to about her insomnia, and get it, he's ALREADY met her parents...

I am going to slap that bitch senseless.

I'm sympathetic about your situation but is this all worth it.:uhhuh: Are you willing to start a fight with a girl over a boy who you're probably not going to last with? I think most of us understand that this girl is a total skank and you deserve to be annoyed.
In other words, ditch him. This is not worth it. Show the lil skank and ur 'bf' that ur better than them. A good bf won't do this to you.:angry: