Would you mind assessing my Major Project???? (1 Viewer)

[SimpaticO]

Hi!

I handed in my Major Project two weeks ago and my class won't be getting it back until after the trials. I really think I did it quite well and I'd really appreciate if anyone of you would take the time to look at it and make any comments, criticisms, suggestions you have. Even though I've already handed it in, I'd just like it if you could please take a look and just tell me basically what your thoughts are on how I'll go also.

My essay regards the Empire State Building, however the question is pretty self explanatory (it's on the first page after the cover page).

Much appreciated!!!!

 

[Sarah168]

What did you get for your proposal?

Your essay is quite different in that it isnt specifically a historical argument or debate (Im not saying it has to be but it just so happens that it often it is).

It was also in a narrative form. Nothing wrong with this. Except a historiographical essay would have incoroprated historical debates. I'm a little confused as to the where the historical interpretations lies. The essay itself is well written in terms of grammar, syntax etc etc.

The main thing that I noticed was that the essay consisted of alot of "story-telling" if you know what I mean.

Im just another ext hist student so I don't know how valid my comments are (esp as I havent seen your proposal). But, I just can't see historical interpretations. Im seeing a little of the "roaring twenties" but it isnt linked to any thesis style line running through the essay. I also noticed alot of vague comments in the synopsis but Ill stop here. Would you mind posting your proposal?

Edit: The bibliography was very short. Im not saying a long bibliography is necessarily indicative of a good essay but for a major essay like this, I would have thought you would use more sources. Historical ones at that.

Edit2: Sorry if I sounded harsh. Just a little surprised at your take on the essay.

 

[Caratacus]

I agree with Sarah. I'm not saying you will not get a good mark, but to get the most out of the IRP you need to grapple explicitly with historiographical issues, at least to some extent. So it's good to have some variety of issues or interpretations or perspectives, or at least something that allows your essay to deal with the historiography of the topic.

 

[Sarah168]

From what I can see, your essay seems to be a topical piece of writing, not too different from "regular" history courses. I guess my main point is that you neither covered historiographical features not incorporated historical interpetations.

Your other threads have indicated that your teacher thinks your work is good and you're doing well, but I'm not too sure if you're looking at the course from the right angle.

 

[Bo_Bo]

I hope you dont think that i am being harsh but i dont think you picked the right sort of topic to do your project on. It doesnt give you enough chance to look at historiography but, just do a bit of the story telling you do in ancient and modern history.
your project focus/topic should allow you to easily access the realm of historiography and make it a prominent part of the essay.

 

[Caratacus]

just do a bit of the story telling you do in ancient and modern history.

Even in Ancient & Modern History you should look at the historiography where relevant: discuss & evaluate evidence, interpretations, & so on. Straight narrative won't get you up there.

 

[SimpaticO]

Well, this is the thing see. We covered historiography and interpretations in class and we were assessed on that in our half yearly's. Our teacher then told us that this was basically the format that he wanted our major project's done in seeing that we'd covered historiography in the hlaf yearly's. We were pretty much told that we were being assessed on historiography in our trials and that in the project we were to do it in the manner specified to us which is exactly what I did. So that's why this reaction is a bit confusing to me.

 

[Silverstone]

This is the bestest thing in the whole history in the entire world that i have ever, EVER read - in my WHOLE life.

Oh Anthony

 

[Acid]

Well, this is the thing see. We covered historiography and interpretations in class and we were assessed on that in our half yearly's. Our teacher then told us that this was basically the format that he wanted our major project's done in seeing that we'd covered historiography in the hlaf yearly's. We were pretty much told that we were being assessed on historiography in our trials and that in the project we were to do it in the manner specified to us which is exactly what I did. So that's why this reaction is a bit confusing to me.

Look at the marking criteria. Historiography is an integral part.

 

[Caratacus]

Acid is right. This is from the marking criteria set by the syllabus (page 33) for the History Project:

In response to the precise research
question(s):
• presents a sustained and coherent
argument
• supports argument through detailed
coherent analysis and evaluation of
significant historiographical questions
• uses a recognised system of
referencing

A narrative is not an argument. The argument has to be supported "through detailed coherent analysis and evaluation of significant historiographical questions."

 

[Silverstone]

Thats your schools fault for not finding a way to integrate Historiography efficiently - with half yearlies and yearlies! BACK. OFF.

*Holds up cross

 

[Zhang San Feng]

umm...heres my honest opinion...please dont get offended...

hmm ... u seem to be just talking about the building, your entire thesis based on a building rather than any real historiocal debates surrounding it.... and u havented linked it to augustan period (ecept for the month) at all though u used it as a title...

your lack of footnoting and the referencing isnt exactly very well done...that tells markers that you havent really done the research...
and ur bibliography does not seem extensive enough... and theres also the historiography bit...or lack there of

also u introduced and mentioned 'filming' only in the conclusion...which is always a no-no for an essay...

 

[Sarah168]

i noticed something about the last source analysis...you seem to use the word "further" 6 times in a paragraph or more lol

Better footnoting and editing is a minor thing that I would have focussed on. The others? I think that has been discussed enough.

 

[paper cup]

seeing you guys tear into a major work like that has thoroughly destroyed any whimsical chances of me picking up ext hist next year. see, I can't even speak english properly any more.

 

[Sarah168]

HA! You depend on your comments on a single major essay to decide whether you choose the course or not...geez.

 

[paper cup]

I was...joking.

 

[SimpaticO]

HEYA ALL!!!!

Well, I saw my teacher after the Ancient History trial today and he gave me my mark for the Extension History Project.

I'm so happy. I came first in our class with 28/30!

I knew I'd done it how he told us it was meant to be done. Anyway, I'm extremely happy with my mark!

 

[vicksta]

Well done! thats a great mark, but yeah, i have to say i agree with the others, the entre course is meant to be about historiography, thats the whole point of the subject. Your essay was interesting to read though!!!
Hey cherryblossom- do extension history for sure, it rocks!

 

[Zhang San Feng]

yes...u should give it a go...u can do what i did( since i cant speak engrish properly either) and swamp ppl with ur drafts 10 times a week and get them to proof read and check for *cough* grammatical stuff ....until u think u cant change it anymore