Yeats Essay (1 Viewer)

[zaefr]

wrote this a while ago for a past assessment. any feedback on this essay for improvement would be nice

 

[Ryuu-jin-jakka]

It seems that u are telling more than showing and that in the rubric it ask you to talk about critics' (other people opinion of the text) although u've analysis really well of what you interpreted of the poem, which is require in the rubric also, but you are just missing that one thing left i guess so i hope this comment helps

 

[timw7845]

good use of techniques and analysis..

put some more critics quotes in and it should be a high marker

i always got some marks of chucking a few lines of context about yeats in.. showed you have background on the topic not just analysis of poems..

 

[jellybelly59]

put some more critics quotes in and it should be a high marker

Not sure about that....changes in marking at the centre showed there's been a shift away from critical readings. Readings are only there to shape your reading, not be the basis of your argument. Hence, placing in a critic's quote won't give you a higher mark.

As for the actual response, I don't do yeat's but i can comment on structure and language.

good linking to thesis. Analysis is thorough and there is no recounting or 'showing' from what i've read (sorry Ryuu-jin-jakka but i have new clue what you are on about). Good use of linking of the poems e.g 'Conversely' and ' In Contrast'

It's just the smaller things in the response such as the use of 'I' and 'own' that shatter the academic voice you've been trying to obtain. Use words such as the 'audience' and it'll still sound formal but the marker will still know it's your perception.