2009 official "funny quirks of my day" thread (5 Viewers)

[cannibal.horse]

Fixed.

Since when has sword fighting been gay?

 

[jumb]

Since when has sword fighting been gay?

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

 

[The_highwayman]

Since when has sword fighting been gay?

since it didnt exclusively involve swords

 

[cannibal.horse]

Speaking of gay - security at the brewery. I literally had 3 drinks at customs, went into the brewery for 10 minutes, had a drink, went up to meet with some girls outside and this homo dude's like 'you're not coming back in'.

I tried reasoning with him but he was a total fuckwit about it. If I had have been pissed at that point I would have accepted it and taken the event as a major reevaluation of my drinking habits, but the fact is I vividly remember being outside, cold, pissed off and sober.

 

[em_516]

I think I know what your problem is! You're a guy!
Wear a dress next time, make it believeable. You'll be sorted.

 

[The_highwayman]

too many dicks on the dancefloor

 

[jumb]

total fuckwit

You just described atleast 95% of bouncers in Newcastle.

 

[blue_chameleon]

Speaking of gay - security at the brewery. I literally had 3 drinks at customs, went into the brewery for 10 minutes, had a drink, went up to meet with some girls outside and this homo dude's like 'you're not coming back in'.

I tried reasoning with him but he was a total fuckwit about it. If I had have been pissed at that point I would have accepted it and taken the event as a major reevaluation of my drinking habits, but the fact is I vividly remember being outside, cold, pissed off and sober.

Yeah, unfortunately the Brewery has a nice reputation for this type of stuff. I have many accounts of the same thing. You need to make sure that if you go out, you take a chic with you also. It works. Both me and a friend were going to get denied before we even got in, but they let our hot friend in. When we were like "wtf is going on here" the girl was at the top of the stairs and called out for us, so we just walked straight past the bouncers and they didn't stop us.

That's the thing with going out; you have to deal with some overzealous bouncers that hate their life.

I think I know what your problem is! You're a guy!
Wear a dress next time, make it believeable. You'll be sorted.

This.

 

[jumb]

Yeah, unfortunately the Brewery has a nice reputation for this type of stuff. I have many accounts of the same thing. You need to make sure that if you go out, you take a chic with you also. It works. Both me and a friend were going to get denied before we even got in, but they let our hot friend in. When we were like "wtf is going on here" the girl was at the top of the stairs and called out for us, so we just walked straight past the bouncers and they didn't stop us.

That's the thing with going out; you have to deal with some overzealous bouncers that hate their life.

This.

Yeah, it doesn't matter how drunk you are, as long as you're hanging off a decent looking girl you'll get in anywhere.

 

[Zrap]

thats why you dont go to the brewery. I was at customs last night, but left at like 11:30 it was pretty shit out in town

 

[blue_chameleon]

Yeah, it doesn't matter how drunk you are, as long as you're hanging off a decent looking girl you'll get in anywhere.

Checklist when going out:

- Money; and
- Hot Girl; or

If no Hot Girl:

- Long hair wig
- Tissues
- Cocktail dress
- Lippy
- Heels that fit

 

[The_highwayman]

so trannies > men?

 

[blue_chameleon]

so trannies > men?

As far as bouncers are concerned, they are too dense to distinguish between the two.

 

[cannibal.horse]

I think I know what your problem is! You're a guy!
Wear a dress next time, make it believeable. You'll be sorted.

I hate that bs.

Just ebcause they have a rack doesn't mean you're getting any.

 

[jumb]

As far as bouncers are concerned, they are too dense to distinguish between the two.

They check for boobs before they check your I.D.

 

[blue_chameleon]

They check for boobs before they check your I.D.

That's why 2nd on the list of stuff I listed you'd need as backup is important.

Tissue solves the issue.

 

[blue_chameleon]

Seriously just put on a limp. It is your free card into ANYWHERE. Bouncers have to be hectic careful about discrimination.

Even pubs that aren't letting anyone in, will let a cripple in without question (or so I experienced last night).

That said.. I love my hamilton. Those pubs are special.

What's the injury?

 

[The_highwayman]

you obviously have to be coordinated.
or else things can go terribly wrong.

 

[cannibal.horse]

Seriously just put on a limp. It is your free card into ANYWHERE. Bouncers have to be hectic careful about discrimination.

Even pubs that aren't letting anyone in, will let a cripple in without question (or so I experienced last night).

That said.. I love my hamilton. Those pubs are special.

That reminds me of the Bruno episode where the club manager explains how if a person in a wheelchair tried to enter they'd just direct the line around them.

 

[~untitled~]

I have tonsilitis, it hurts .