Rules for Customers (5 Viewers)

[spazamataz]

If you proceed to get intimate with your partner while i am serving you, I reserve the right to be disgusted.
"Would you like a bag with that *I look up* Maybe a room?"

 

[Omnidragon]

When I'm taking your money, don't talk to me and say you've left something you haven't picked it. You should've got it the first time. I wish people stop going to Coles

 

[russianROULETTE]

if i say 'we don't have any on order' i can't tell you when we'll be getting more in because WE DON'T HAVE ANY ON ORDER. it's not ambiguous in any way whatsoever you simpleton, it means we aren't getting any more. this guy today just couldn't get it, maybe i should have spoken more slowly or tried to rephrase but i don't think that would have worked either.

 

[iMatthew]

if i say 'we don't have any on order' i can't tell you when we'll be getting more in because WE DON'T HAVE ANY ON ORDER. it's not ambiguous in any way whatsoever you simpleton, it means we aren't getting any more. this guy today just couldn't get it, maybe i should have spoken more slowly or tried to rephrase but i don't think that would have worked either.

they are 'out the back' silly! LOL

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Don't just send in a cheque with no order form, no contact details, nothing, and expect us to both know what you want and send it out promptly! Even though the amount on the cheque suggests you want a certain product, we do actually need you to confirm this for us by sending an order form and giving us an address to send it to. We're not a detective agency ffs.

It's always old ladies who do this for some reason. Or they send cheques for random amounts of money, requesting items or specials that we do not or have ever had, and then get very upset when they are informed that the reason for the delay is actually that they ordered something that doesn't exist.

Also just generally, our order tracking system is very efficient. If I am tracking an order for you and your details do not appear in our database, 99% of the time it will be because you did something wrong at the time you ordered as per the above scenarios, or are telling me the wrong name or order number in which case I will never find you unless you give me the correct information.

 

[russianROULETTE]

they are 'out the back' silly! LOL

LOL yes exactly, everyone seems to think that. they're shocked when i'm like, 'if it's not on the shelf we don't have it'. i think people imagine there's some sort of massive warehouse, if anyone saw it they'd be like 'wtf it's just a shoebox with no windows and inadequate lighting'.

 

[copeys]

When you come up to the service desk and ask to get through express lanes, do NOT whinge at me when the CSM and I tell you no. I looked at the full lanes, no-one is waiting in line, both openanes are almost done, in fact you can put your stuff down on the conveyor!!!

Also, then don't say you are in a hurry you cranky old hag. This store is empty. I would say that a 1min wait time is excellent for a Saturday!!! Also, when we open a lane just for your fucking convenience, (at the expense of express) don't say this is a non-cash sale. The CSM hates you. Do not expect your account to be open for much longer. Whore.

 

[iMatthew]

YouTube - Customer Tips

I want this mans babies.

 

[Treefeet]

He is awesome.. i agree on everything he said

 

[x.christina]

Please, do not yell at me because Tony isn't at his desk. It's 5:25PM, he probably went home at 4:45 like everyone else.
NO ONE IS AT THEIR DESKS AT FUCKING 5:30 IN THE AFTERNOON
/rant.

Only problem with this job- stupid people on the phone.

 

[x.christina]

I've got a few more work related grievances...

- Yes, I noticed you are in a mobility scooter. A lot of other customers also have mobility scooters. Just because you have a disability, doesn't mean you have to be

a)rude
b)a jerk
Yes, you are disabled, but that doesn't give you some sort of right to be rude. I have many customers who have those scooters and are absolutely lovely.
​

-Those smokes you always want? Yes, we are all out of those. Don't tell me that it is ridiculous. You are the ONLY PERSON in this god-forsaken town that has them and you got 2 cartons yesterday. They don't magically appear.
-Don't tell me what my store should get... Every other card does allow the user to either PIN or Pen, but yours didn't. Yours must be one of those exclusive cards... I don't care that it works at coles. Go there and put in your PIN... Don't tell me I'm stupid and I know nothing. I have a 150 fucking employees that will back me up on exactly what I just told you. Fuck OFF.
-Yes, I am the boy from the paper. Read the article if you want to know what I'm doing for UNI.... Thats why I was in the Paper!!!! READ!!!!!
-Ok, so you want smokes. fare enough - that DOES NOT give you the right to bypass all the customers in line, walk out of the express lanes and go to smokeshop and demand to get served. Also, don't look shocked when I tell you if you do that again, you can be mistaken for stealing and will be reported.

where do you work at?
seems all too awfully familiar

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

I'm so over customers this week

they're ALL rude or stupid or both

fffffffffffu

i can has weekend?

 

[zeromq]

Department stores are not BANKS! We do not have hundreds of dollars in the till when I just start my shift even though I did tell you I just started. Blaming me for not having enough in the till will not solve anything and I still won't give it to you, you stupid fat bitch go die

 

[bdude]

Department stores are not BANKS! We do not have hundreds of dollars in the till when I just start my shift even though I did tell you I just started. Blaming me for not having enough in the till will not solve anything and I still won't give it to you, you stupid fat bitch go die

I've decided I'm going to me more assertive to people who want lots of cash out.

 

[Taketheatrain]

1) I am not going to give you a discount and then get fired for you. I don't love you that much.

2) Don't fling your money at me. I am not a stripper.

 

[Will Shakespear]

I've decided I'm going to me more assertive to people who want lots of cash out.

why be assertive for? the blank stare is the best and only response to rants or abuse, lol

 

[bdude]

why be assertive for? the blank stare is the best and only response to rants or abuse, lol

I mean it usually goes like this:

Customer: I'd like $200 cash out please
Me: Sorry, I don't really have that much in the till
Customer: But I want $200 cash out
Me: Oh......... ok

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

customer: I can't log in

me: righto are you using the right password/on the right website/on the right page/doing something retarded

customer: I'm doing everything right

me: k so your login details are xxxx, try again

customer: still not working

me: are you sure you're not doing something retarded because that's the right ID

customer: I'm doing it all properly your system must be broken

*TWENTY MINUTES LATER*

customer: OH silly me dearie oh gosh I was trying to log in to the wrong website isn't that funny?


fuck off no its not I asked you that like ten thousand times
our "system" is not broken
your brain is broken
OK

 

[townie]

for the benefit of all and sundry;

I read your post on customer rules.
I don't mean to sound rude, but I completely disagree with it.
Instead of thinking your better then everyone else (all customers) maybe you should be grateful to them considering their the one's allowing you to have a job!

Again, I don't mean to sound rude in saying this I just think your post is rather rude and I don't think Woolworths would have been too pleased that they had employed you when this is the kind of immature rubbish you post.

Response:

I've worked in retail for 5 years, in a variety of roles, rising to the rank of Customer Service Manager; Woolworths has always employed, and indeed promoted me, partly on the basis that I get along well with customers and i do a damn good job. Why? Because, instead of taking my frustration out on customers, i have other avenues in which to vent. When you have served close too $4m worth of stock, 160,000 odd customers, worked in retail dedicatedly for 5 years and risen to a management role, come and talk to me. Otherwise, don't judge what you clearly don't understand.

 

[iMatthew]

for the benefit of all and sundry;



Response:

^ This.