loneliness... (3 Viewers)

[SilverLining__]

ahh yep. mine
well thats embarrasing.. blonde moment. I forgot you can see the initials on there. lol

 

[zombie omie jay]

you can see the entire name..

 

[SilverLining__]

i don't see where your seeing that..

 

[zombie omie jay]

no lol i found your profile

 

[kooltrainer]

1. Try to improve your confidence level first. With low confidence, you are likely to attract shit friends who leech on your lack of confidence to make them feel better about themselves.

2. Attend events such as free seminars, take lessons such as dance classes AND talk to people first. Not everyone would be friendly and open, but if they are not friendly/open, it's their loss anyway. Life is too short to be fearing rejection every day.

3. Don't wait for people to invite you to events. Invite them to hang out. Yes, there are some lucky people out there who never need to take the initiative. You're may not be one of them --- so what?

The 3rd one is the most useful imo.. u shuld try that out.. like call a bunch out for a movie or karaoke or game of soccer or ice skating.. Worse comes to worse shout them lunch/dinner.. no one would reject that..
second one is .. good.. for practice.. but u cant make best buddies out of that.. its jus gona be aquaintances from those free seminars etc..
1: shit friends are better than no friends eh??

 

[zombie omie jay]

no

 

[BeeemER]

A loner is a person who avoids or does not actively seek human interaction or prefers to be alone. There are many reasons for solitude, intentional or otherwise, and "loner" implies no specific cause. Intentional reasons include religion[1][2] or personal philosophies. Unintentional reasons involve being highly sensitive, having more extreme forms of shyness and introversion, or various mental disorders. The modern term "loner" is usually used with a negative connotation[3] in the simplistic belief that human beings are social creatures and those that do not participate are deviant.[4][5]


muslamb

 

[freetofly]

Same situation here. Except, I have a cousin and a brother here all the time. Of course my brothers here, but my cousin's always, ALWAYS here. Annoying the heck out of me. I can't get out of this cold cold place (with no heater on) because I'm too young, and even if I do I can only walk around the neighbourhood. My parents come LATE.

So I'm basically locked up in my room, with only a computer and books to read. In addition I can't go to my skating lessons because no one can take me. TT

what you should do:

1. Get a job
2. be friendly
3. Mingle with people! - I'd like to see how that would work XD. My neighbourhood is
really cold and ... not fun to mingle with.

 

[zombie omie jay]

XD wat

 

[stampede]

Same situation here. Except, I have a cousin and a brother here all the time. Of course my brothers here, but my cousin's always, ALWAYS here. Annoying the heck out of me. I can't get out of this cold cold place (with no heater on) because I'm too young, and even if I do I can only walk around the neighbourhood. My parents come LATE.

So I'm basically locked up in my room, with only a computer and books to read. In addition I can't go to my skating lessons because no one can take me. TT

what you should do:

1. Get a job
2. be friendly
3. Mingle with people! - I'd like to see how that would work XD. My neighbourhood is
really cold and ... not fun to mingle with.

where do you live o young one

 

[myst1fy]

go clubbin m8

 

[darkcounty]

Arrange to meet people from the internet if you're really desperate.

Or join a sports club and get a job.

 

[kooltrainer]

wear a sign on your head that says USE ME

lulwut!?

 

[myst1fy]

lulwut!?

herp derp

 

[chewy123]

Hey... so holidays are upon us and I pretty much have no one to hang out with. The few friends I have that I socialise with at school are too busy hanging out amongst tem selves and make lame excuses as to why I wasn't invited to social events to include me in anything... I dont have gf and I'm an only child so I can't even hangout with a brother or sister...

I feel incresingly restless and bored shut away at home when both my parents go to work (leave at 6 and come home at like 7 at night)... and whenever i go to places i see groups of people with their friends and this depresses me futher as i dont/cant have the same social interactions.

Anyone else in a similar situation or can give me any idea how to improve my situation ???? Its not like im socially awkward or anything and would happily meet new friends etc but i just dont know where to look

I am sorry that you feel this way. Loneliness has been my biggest problem since uni started. If you want read about my situation search for a thread titled 'first day worst day' then you will see how depressed i was during the first day of uni. I also posted subsequent threads in unsw forum about how shithouse my social life is at uni. Short story is, everyone seem to have well established networks from HS or O-week. I might meet and chat with some people in class but we all go our own way afterwards. Many acquaintances but no friends...etc. Thankfully though, I still have a viable source of social life from high school friends, but they are less reliable during the semester since most of my friends goes to usyd or uts and all are busy with their things.

Being in the same situation there's not much advice I can give you. Assuming you're at uni and a first yr, you should have plenty of oppotunities of meeting new people yet. You just have to 'push' yourself in, ask for people their emails/no. and keep contact with them. Or organising outings with your old high school friends.
In your spare time you can find ways to burn your time to avoid restlessness. I personally go to the cooks river for a light jog/walk when I am bored, there aren't many people and most are by themselves anyway so you won't have to feel self-conscious about people in groups. Gaming, reading a book, or chatting in forums are other ways you can get by.

 

[meilz92]

Hey... so holidays are upon us and I pretty much have no one to hang out with. The few friends I have that I socialise with at school are too busy hanging out amongst tem selves and make lame excuses as to why I wasn't invited to social events to include me in anything... I dont have gf and I'm an only child so I can't even hangout with a brother or sister...

I feel incresingly restless and bored shut away at home when both my parents go to work (leave at 6 and come home at like 7 at night)... and whenever i go to places i see groups of people with their friends and this depresses me futher as i dont/cant have the same social interactions.

Anyone else in a similar situation or can give me any idea how to improve my situation ???? Its not like im socially awkward or anything and would happily meet new friends etc but i just dont know where to look

you know what, i was in the EXACT same situation as you mid to late last year. like EXACT, especially the bolded parts. but because i was still in year 12 at the time, everyone kinda had their own little groups so it was kinda hard to make good friends. these two girls who were my "best" friends started to become friends with another crowd, and started doggin me all the time. during holidays they were "too busy" with schoolwork or catching up with eachother to see me. they were all like "dw we will hang out after the hsc hehe "

what happened after the hsc? we went to schoolies, and thats about it. they were STILL always too busy for me, so you know what i did? i thought "fuck these cunts, im always making an effort to talk to them and arrange time to hang out with THEM, if theyre my real friends they will make an effort to talk to me"

ever since i decided that back in december, havent spoken to them since. my summer holidays were pretty miserable, i was pretty depressed. but then i had another girl who i was friends with in highschool, and i had a chat with her one day and found out that she was in the exact same situation as me. so we arranged to hang out, and talked about it, and yeah summer was a little bit better with her around. i still speak to her sometimes, actually went to her birthday party last night she is like me and has few friends and was in my situation, and shes not socially awkward at all, shes a great person. also now that im in uni, ive made a pretty close uni friend, and ive become heaps close with an old friend who also went to my highschool (but we werent really good friends last year, but this year we go to the same uni so yeah) so i have those close three girls now at least. i also have a boyfriend now so yeah going out almost everyday these holidays.

if i were you, if u still have people from school who u were kinda friends with, but weren't in that group of dogging cunts, then id have a chat with them, maybe catch up for a movie or something. try strengthening ur relationship with them. also if you go to uni or tafe now, MAKE NEW FRIENDS THERE, seriously its the best thing you can do, dont be shy, make an effort, and i guarantee you will make at least one good friend

good luck, and dont forget ur not the only one in this situation, i was in it too for the latter half of last year and beginning of this year.

 

[kooltrainer]

"fuck these cunts, im always making an effort to talk to them and arrange time to hang out with THEM, if theyre my real friends they will make an effort to talk to me"

yea but then as you grow older and more open, you'l realise that u can accept ppl from any group and thats what u shuld do. In the end it is better for u to make friends from each and every group of friends so ur connections expand far more rapidly.. just like a celebrity... to do this, you gotta be willing to help people.. Be extra nice like for eg.. bring free snacks in an sport outing, shouting lunch, if they need help downloadin sumthin, help them ..and they'l feel very much gratified as though they owe u something in return.. Then they would call u out..

so, dun screw those doggin cunts, they're stil ur fd.. can still make use out of them...

 

[klaris]

you know what, i was in the EXACT same situation as you mid to late last year. like EXACT, especially the bolded parts. but because i was still in year 12 at the time, everyone kinda had their own little groups so it was kinda hard to make good friends. these two girls who were my "best" friends started to become friends with another crowd, and started doggin me all the time. during holidays they were "too busy" with schoolwork or catching up with eachother to see me. they were all like "dw we will hang out after the hsc hehe "

what happened after the hsc? we went to schoolies, and thats about it. they were STILL always too busy for me, so you know what i did? i thought "fuck these cunts, im always making an effort to talk to them and arrange time to hang out with THEM, if theyre my real friends they will make an effort to talk to me"

ever since i decided that back in december, havent spoken to them since. my summer holidays were pretty miserable, i was pretty depressed. but then i had another girl who i was friends with in highschool, and i had a chat with her one day and found out that she was in the exact same situation as me. so we arranged to hang out, and talked about it, and yeah summer was a little bit better with her around. i still speak to her sometimes, actually went to her birthday party last night she is like me and has few friends and was in my situation, and shes not socially awkward at all, shes a great person. also now that im in uni, ive made a pretty close uni friend, and ive become heaps close with an old friend who also went to my highschool (but we werent really good friends last year, but this year we go to the same uni so yeah) so i have those close three girls now at least. i also have a boyfriend now so yeah going out almost everyday these holidays.

if i were you, if u still have people from school who u were kinda friends with, but weren't in that group of dogging cunts, then id have a chat with them, maybe catch up for a movie or something. try strengthening ur relationship with them. also if you go to uni or tafe now, MAKE NEW FRIENDS THERE, seriously its the best thing you can do, dont be shy, make an effort, and i guarantee you will make at least one good friend

good luck, and dont forget ur not the only one in this situation, i was in it too for the latter half of last year and beginning of this year.

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

i actually remember talking about the similarities in our situations in the cry thread, back around the summer holidays

anyway, i was pretty much in the exact same situation at the end of year ten. all of my friends were going off to a fancy senior college and really didn't care that i wasn't going with them. it showed a lot before the school certificate, too, because they were always going on about how much fun they would have over the two years of HSC and how many new people they would meet and it would just be aaallllll them. anyway, cos i was around a lot of the time, they did "try" to make things a little better by saying things like "oh, don't worry we'll defs hang out after the school certificate...we'll be tight as..." and they all would give me this reassuring smile. but, no. we never did hang out over the summer.

the school certificate ended, and the formal and grad and we just went our seperate ways. two months is a long time with no social interactions whatsoever (well, only facebook and msn but that's kinda of shitty), and i got really, really lonely. and depression just came along. at the time, i had no idea what was wrong with me; i was so confused. in hindsight, it was because i was incredibly lonely and i did nothing all day long. stayed up till morning and slept constantly. anyway back on point, my friends did nothing. but whenever i did talk to them they would rave about all the fun they had at some party or over new years' or just all the time. of course, this made me upset and i just got into a mood of not wanting to go out at all.

this went on for quite a while, i was back at school until i realised i could make a change. seeing as 98% of my "friends" had left and ditched and didn't have a second thought about, i hung out with my two remaining friends. one was in year twelve and one was in year eleven. the boy in year eleven no longer speaks to me because "i've changed". the girl in year twelve and i are really, really close. anyway, the term kept on progressing and i still was relying on one or two people for companionship and the days they were away were really, really terrible and i basically just wandered around the school, trying to look busy.

eventually, i meet a group in year twelve who just accepted me. completely. they are all just brilliant and there are a few girls that are just great and even though they're all off to uni next year in various capital cities (sydney, melbourne, god knows where else) i'm not worried at all. because even though i haven't known them for all that long they're so much more trusting and kind-hearted and giving then all of my other "friends" ever were. they constantly ask me if i want to go to this 18th/gig/pub even though i'm not even seventeen yet and there's a high chance that i would never be allowed to go or even pass through the doors. they're great like that i now have a best friend who i trust completely and do almost everything with. and a great group of friends, who are more mature and just THE BEST

i made new friends easily and it just started out with being acquaintances and then an old friend had her 17th and i met my (future) best friend there and things went along from there. it's much easier than it looks i still don't talk to my year much at all, mainly because they're all so immature/i can't stand them and their bitchiness.

so i'm sure you'll find a great group of people eventually if you had've seen my old posts in the cry thread, if i could do it of all people. i'm sure you can

 

[mes ami]

i feel lonely i got to uni with my friends and rarely see them, ones in architecture the other in pharm. i see pharm girl though sometimes

other friends at different unis, rarely. will focus on degree.

 

[b00m]

i hope my uni days aren't as depressing as you guys

must make an effort to join various uni social groups or something.....................