Any advice please. (1 Viewer)

Magical Kebab

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This is my speech for our module A
Task description:You are to present a 5 minute talk as a university professor addressing a first year english literature class.
When comparing texts which explore humanity's relationship with the natural world it is clear that our experience of nature can transcend the physical.

My speech:
How do we transcend the physical through sublime connections and understandings with nature and the wild? This may not seem interesting and important to you lot as first year students but we all interact with nature and are dependent on nature for our physical and spiritual well being whether we like it or not. You will all now consider the representation of nature by William Wordsworth, a pre-eminent Romantic poet of the 18th century and David Malouf, a post colonialist Australian writer of the 20th century. Although both writers were composing at various times, both explore humanity’s relationship with the natural world in Malouf's Imaginary Life and Wordsworth's Tintern Abbey.

Malouf emphasizes the significance of engagement in nature as a way of realizing our place in the world. Ovid’s fantasy journey takes him to a place of sublime understanding and belonging in the natural world which goes beyond mere observation to a state of sublime metamorphosis; a state where self, space and time have become a single unit. “I am immeasurably happy. I am three years old. I am sixty. I am six.” Simple truncated sentences illustrate the accomplishment of a state of being that goes well outside the corporeal, physical understanding. In Tintern Abbey, Wordsworth signifies to us that even with his long absence from the Abbey, the landscape in front of him still nurtures him after so many years, “These beauteous forms, through a long absence, have not been to me … in hours of weariness, sensations sweet, felt in the blood, and felt along the heart”. Wordsworth emphasizes that his return to the Abbey after five years has returned the physical pleasure he experienced as a child. This expresses that even when ten, twenty or even fifty years pass by ones life; nature’s existence constantly provides us with happiness.

We are inevitably influenced by our own context and Malouf and Wordsworth were influenced by theirs. Different times and cultures value or disregard nature and the wild according to principal beliefs of the time. Wordsworth, an English Romantic poet was influenced to write about the landscape from the perspective of a native due to the rustic society he was living in and thus, helped launch the Romantic age with his close friend and fellow poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Wordsworth grew up in ‘wild and natural’ surroundings and had a deep attachment to his childhood and to the wildness which also led him to write Tintern Abbey. Malouf, a late 20th century post colonialist writer was in a time of increasing concern about the future of the world due to perceived threats such as environmental meltdowns and nuclear holocausts which led him to write about an alien landscape, from the point of view of a foreigner. Ovid’s early feelings about the desolate landscape around Tomis, as compared to the cultivated landscape of Rome might compare to Malouf’s own feelings about Australia and his arrogance towards post-colonialism. So its now evident that even though both texts were written at different times, Romanticism and post-colonialism both reflect our view on nature and how our interaction with nature represents who we are.

The wild offers a state of peaceful harmony in which the poet can gain a better understanding of himself and his place in the world. Wordsworth expresses his deep gratitude for the restorative effect of immersion in the wild, a very real and physical place that provides spiritual nourishment. “In nature and the language of the sense, the anchor of my purest thoughts, the nurse, the guide, the guardian of my heart, and soul of all my moral being.” Wordsworth highlights this sensory experience with the wild through the use of connotations associated with language of the sense. Wordsworth recognizes that nature defines him and makes life worth living for him. Correspondingly, Ovid demonstrates that even though challenges arise through developing a connection to the wild, the rewards are the ones that connect us, a sense of sublime being and gratitude. “Against all my thoughts, this endless process of creation and survival has brought unity and joy between our two bodies.” Malouf’s use of sensual imagery provides us with the impression that the child and himself have achieved a state of peaceful unity. As we can now notice, Wordsworth and Ovid both establish unity through the divinity of nature.

Imaginary Life and Tintern Abbey both explore humanity’s relationship with the natural world and it should be clear to all of you now that our experience of nature can transcend the physical. Malouf and Wordsworth effectively portray nature as divine and harmonic through the use of various poetic devices and by narrating a story through a different person. Humanity’s relationship with the natural world influences our behavior and interaction with the wild by forcing us to reflect on our existence and our relationship with the wild. But what I would like to show you all is that even though both of these texts were composed at various times, they both address a similar message, nature is important to us and shapes who we are.
Thank you.

Please give me a rating outta 20 :)
 
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dr cookie

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I've always been told not to have a rhetorical question in a thesis; however, as this is a speech, it could probably change I suppose...

No greeting? I can't say I've been a Uni Lecturer, but do they greet the pupils??

For this bit: "Imaginary Life by Malouf and Tintern Abbey by Wordsworth", I would rephrase it and say: "Malouf's (MEDIUM), Imaginary Life, and Wordsworth's (MEDIUM), Wordsworth", just because it seems a bit more sophisticated.

If I read the rest, there'd be a good chance I wouldn't understand it and therefore give crappy advice.

Enjoy and good luck
 

OzKo

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I've always been told not to have a rhetorical question in a thesis; however, as this is a speech, it could probably change I suppose...

No greeting? I can't say I've been a Uni Lecturer, but do they greet the pupils??

For this bit: "Imaginary Life by Malouf and Tintern Abbey by Wordsworth", I would rephrase it and say: "Malouf's (MEDIUM), Imaginary Life, and Wordsworth's (MEDIUM), Wordsworth", just because it seems a bit more sophisticated.

If I read the rest, there'd be a good chance I wouldn't understand it and therefore give crappy advice.

Enjoy and good luck
No they don't.
 

ncoul

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I feel that it's standard to greet when giving a speech. I''ve been marked down before in a written exam for not giving a self-introduction.
 

Absolutezero

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No greeting? I can't say I've been a Uni Lecturer, but do they greet the pupils??
For a five minute talk, they'd probably just be introduced by someone else. Otherwise, you could spend 5 minutes alone just talking about who they are, their credentials and what their field of research/work is.


I feel that it's standard to greet when giving a speech. I''ve been marked down before in a written exam for not giving a self-introduction.
Most good speeches don't start with an introduction. The person is introduced before hand usually, or already known. Think Martin Luther King 'I have a dream' for example.
 

Magical Kebab

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so no advice on the structure and language?
Or even on depth if anyone has a clue of what I'm talking about?
 

SanjoyM

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This is my speech for our module A
Task description:You are to present a 5 minute talk as a university professor addressing a first year english literature class.
When comparing texts which explore humanity's relationship with the natural world it is clear that our experience of nature can transcend the physical.

My speech:
How do we transcend the physical through sublime connections and understandings with nature and the wild? This may not seem interesting and important to you lot as first year students but we all interact with nature and are dependent on nature for our physical and spiritual well being whether we like it or not. You will all now consider the representation of nature by William Wordsworth, a pre-eminent Romantic poet of the 18th century and David Malouf, a post colonialist Australian writer of the 20th century. Although both writers were composing at various times, both explore humanity’s relationship with the natural world in Malouf's Imaginary Life and Wordsworth's Tintern Abbey.

Malouf emphasizes the significance of engagement in nature as a way of realizing our place in the world. Ovid’s fantasy journey takes him to a place of sublime understanding and belonging in the natural world which goes beyond mere observation to a state of sublime metamorphosis; a state where self, space and time have become a single unit. “I am immeasurably happy. I am three years old. I am sixty. I am six.” Simple truncated sentences illustrate the accomplishment of a state of being that goes well outside the corporeal, physical understanding. In Tintern Abbey, Wordsworth signifies to us that even with his long absence from the Abbey, the landscape in front of him still nurtures him after so many years, “These beauteous forms, through a long absence, have not been to me … in hours of weariness, sensations sweet, felt in the blood, and felt along the heart”. Wordsworth emphasizes that his return to the Abbey after five years has returned the physical pleasure he experienced as a child. This expresses that even when ten, twenty or even fifty years pass by ones life; nature’s existence constantly provides us with happiness.

We are inevitably influenced by our own context and Malouf and Wordsworth were influenced by theirs. Different times and cultures value or disregard nature and the wild according to principal beliefs of the time. Wordsworth, an English Romantic poet was influenced to write about the landscape from the perspective of a native due to the rustic society he was living in and thus, helped launch the Romantic age with his close friend and fellow poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Wordsworth grew up in ‘wild and natural’ surroundings and had a deep attachment to his childhood and to the wildness which also led him to write Tintern Abbey. Malouf, a late 20th century post colonialist writer was in a time of increasing concern about the future of the world due to perceived threats such as environmental meltdowns and nuclear holocausts which led him to write about an alien landscape, from the point of view of a foreigner. Ovid’s early feelings about the desolate landscape around Tomis, as compared to the cultivated landscape of Rome might compare to Malouf’s own feelings about Australia and his arrogance towards post-colonialism. So its now evident that even though both texts were written at different times, Romanticism and post-colonialism both reflect our view on nature and how our interaction with nature represents who we are.

The wild offers a state of peaceful harmony in which the poet can gain a better understanding of himself and his place in the world. Wordsworth expresses his deep gratitude for the restorative effect of immersion in the wild, a very real and physical place that provides spiritual nourishment. “In nature and the language of the sense, the anchor of my purest thoughts, the nurse, the guide, the guardian of my heart, and soul of all my moral being.” Wordsworth highlights this sensory experience with the wild through the use of connotations associated with language of the sense. Wordsworth recognizes that nature defines him and makes life worth living for him. Correspondingly, Ovid demonstrates that even though challenges arise through developing a connection to the wild, the rewards are the ones that connect us, a sense of sublime being and gratitude. “Against all my thoughts, this endless process of creation and survival has brought unity and joy between our two bodies.” Malouf’s use of sensual imagery provides us with the impression that the child and himself have achieved a state of peaceful unity. As we can now notice, Wordsworth and Ovid both establish unity through the divinity of nature.

Imaginary Life and Tintern Abbey both explore humanity’s relationship with the natural world and it should be clear to all of you now that our experience of nature can transcend the physical. Malouf and Wordsworth effectively portray nature as divine and harmonic through the use of various poetic devices and by narrating a story through a different person. Humanity’s relationship with the natural world influences our behavior and interaction with the wild by forcing us to reflect on our existence and our relationship with the wild. But what I would like to show you all is that even though both of these texts were composed at various times, they both address a similar message, nature is important to us and shapes who we are.
Thank you.

Please give me a rating outta 20 :)
16-17/20 - low-mid A
need more links (to the q), clearer expressions and language techniques:)
Perhaps integrate the discussion of both texts into concepts/themes with clear topic sentences, quotes, techniques, context and links:)
Furthermore, remember to engage your audience as well...

At the moment: 16/20 - lacking techniques, links and need to engage your audience :)
 

SanjoyM

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I just sent this to a very close teacher - my Extension English 1 teacher and she awarded it a 15/20
 

SanjoyM

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I would never award full marks for any assessment task.
Are you an english teacher?

The highest mark my teacher awarded was 19/20 that too because my essay was 'perfect', but he NEVER awards full marks, unless its comprehension or listening tasks.
However, the highest mark is usually 18/20 or 17/20 and the 2nd highest - 13-14

My Extension teacher - her 19/25= 23/25 ....

Why do they mark so hard?
 

Absolutezero

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Are you an english teacher?

The highest mark my teacher awarded was 19/20 that too because my essay was 'perfect', but he NEVER awards full marks, unless its comprehension or listening tasks.
However, the highest mark is usually 18/20 or 17/20 and the 2nd highest - 13-14

My Extension teacher - her 19/25= 23/25 ....

Why do they mark so hard?
They may just have high standards. Once you look at university style essays, you'll see how high school compares unfavourably.
 

D94

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Are you an english teacher?

The highest mark my teacher awarded was 19/20 that too because my essay was 'perfect', but he NEVER awards full marks, unless its comprehension or listening tasks.
However, the highest mark is usually 18/20 or 17/20 and the 2nd highest - 13-14

My Extension teacher - her 19/25= 23/25 ....

Why do they mark so hard?
Because you can't mark something subjective without personal bias and experience impeding on your performance to mark objectively. This is why marking should be done by one person to ensure fairness, although in many instances, this is not feasible. At least at good schools, there is collective marking and scrutinising to ensure fairness. And to be fair, you probably deserved that mark, whether you agree or not.
 

Focus is Key

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Yeah my teacher very, very rarely gives a 20/20 as well. Sometimes an essay considered "virtually perfect" as she says isn't enough. She originally had my essay at 20/20 but on a second marking took it down to a 19/20.

For our first task there was one 19, two 18's, a 17 and then pretty much everyone else got like 10-13 with a few lower.
 

Magical Kebab

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Yeah my teacher very, very rarely gives a 20/20 as well. Sometimes an essay considered "virtually perfect" as she says isn't enough. She originally had my essay at 20/20 but on a second marking took it down to a 19/20.

For our first task there was one 19, two 18's, a 17 and then pretty much everyone else got like 10-13 with a few lower.
Mine is quite good with marking. She believes she has an intelligent class so she awards decent marks if the 'job' is done. Thats why I'm aiming for 20/20.
 

SanjoyM

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Because you can't mark something subjective without personal bias and experience impeding on your performance to mark objectively. This is why marking should be done by one person to ensure fairness, although in many instances, this is not feasible. At least at good schools, there is collective marking and scrutinising to ensure fairness. And to be fair, you probably deserved that mark, whether you agree or not.
I agree with the marking system:) No complaints! Was just curious as to why they mark harder than the HSC?
My teacher said, "even if you deserve 20 and your essay is perfect, you would either get 19 or 18"
My Extension teacher said, "a 15/20 from me would equate to a 18/20, 19/25 would equate to a 23/25..."
However, she awarded me a 24/25 for my Extension Essay this time... do not why, but she said it was close to 'perfect'.. the 2nd - 17/25
 

D94

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I agree with the marking system:) No complaints! Was just curious as to why they mark harder than the HSC?
My teacher said, "even if you deserve 20 and your essay is perfect, you would either get 19 or 18"
My Extension teacher said, "a 15/20 from me would equate to a 18/20, 19/25 would equate to a 23/25..."
However, she awarded me a 24/25 for my Extension Essay this time... do not why, but she said it was close to 'perfect'.. the 2nd - 17/25
Be careful you don't succumb to naivety. Just because your teachers say they "mark harder than the HSC", it doesn't mean they necessarily are. Especially, if they don't have a great deal of HSC marking experience, or even teaching experience. And if they are marking harder, what's the point of telling students an equivalent "HSC" mark? Why not just give that mark?
 

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