my idea for creative piece (2 Viewers)

[john-doe]

what do u guys think about this idea that i might use for my belonging creative writing-

a guy is convicted of armed robbery and is sentenced to jail. He gets frustrated as he doesnt like it (who does lol) and thinks of an escape plan. He is successful in escaping and hopes to start a new life outside. But he realizes the outer world is much worse to spend his life than jail- he is institutionalized. knowing he cant surrender (because of some reasons) and cant go survive outside- he commits suicide!! how about that??

 

[john-doe]

bump

 

[Clean Sweep]

Yesterday was R U OKAY day mate. Your world is one day behind.

 

[iBibah]

Sounds good but I heard that markers hate suicide stories.

 

[Clean Sweep]

Sounds good but I heard that markers hate suicide stories.

+1
It's as bad as "I woke up and it was all a dream" stories.

 

[Absolutezero]

Sounds good but I heard that markers hate suicide stories.

Not necessarily, but I do think the ending here is the week point.

 

[john-doe]

Not necessarily, but I do think the ending here is the week point.

what do u think it should be like then?

 

[effylove]

dunno if troll or not

but either way you are dumb for the following reasons:

- as a rule of thumb suicide is a bad ending in a SHORT story unless you're a talented writer (if you are you can make anything good woo talent) and/or if it is intrinsic to previously set up plot points
- now other people can use your plot

change that ending bby imo

 

[Absolutezero]

what do u think it should be like then?

Off the top of my head, have him recommit (or end just before he does) a crime to try and get back in. But you can probably come up with something better with a little thought.

dunno if troll or not

but either way you are dumb for the following reasons:

- as a rule of thumb suicide is a bad ending in a SHORT story unless you're a talented writer (if you are you can make anything good woo talent) and/or if it is intrinsic to previously set up plot points
- now other people can use your plot

change that ending bby imo

The likelihood of it being stolen is negligible with the huge amount of stories written. And it's not an overly original premise anyway.

 

[effylove]

public forum abz

full of desperate hsc kids and even more lurkers

 

[effylove]

Off the top of my head, have him recommit (or end just before he does) a crime to try and get back in. But you can probably come up with something better with a little thought.

terrible

 

[john-doe]

terrible

then do u have any tips for ending?

 

[effylove]

no suicide

 

[john-doe]

no suicide

how about he gets shot while on the run

 

[iBibah]

He breaks back into prison ?

 

[john-doe]

He breaks back into prison ?

wouldnt that be silly?

 

[louielouiee]

Sounds way to much to write effectively in 40mins.

Work on 'exploding a moment'

Maybe start with him being institutionalized, reminiscing about what just happened and subtly show a change in his thinking.

Idk, think of something.

 

[Clean Sweep]

You're throwing all these wild, stupid endings around and you've only said that he can't survive. Why can't he survive? Show don't tell. If you can think of why he can't survive, you can draw on that to make a more effective ending.

 

[JINOUGA]

what do u guys think about this idea that i might use for my belonging creative writing-

a guy is convicted of armed robbery and is sentenced to jail. He gets frustrated as he doesnt like it (who does lol) and thinks of an escape plan. He is successful in escaping and hopes to start a new life outside. But he realizes the outer world is much worse to spend his life than jail- he is institutionalized. knowing he cant surrender (because of some reasons) and cant go survive outside- he commits suicide!! how about that??

Sounds like something that has already been done to death.

Not to mention that suicide should only be in your story if you are a talented writer, as tonnes of students use it to poor effect because they think writing depressing stories makes them sound mature when it really does not

 

[unLimitieDx]

In a sense it sounds like Shawshank Redemption .