hayabusaboston
Well-Known Member
I have to give a speech to a bunch of old people at a club, I was told to make it as entertaining as possible. The topic can be anything. What do I talk about to make 55+ peeps laugh!???
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Help! What do i talk about for a speech!?!?! (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter hayabusaboston
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Capt Rifle
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Talk about hsc english
hayabusaboston
Well-Known Member
HAHA brilliant! lol. As much as I wouldnt mind talking about that, it wouldnt be terribly entertaining subject matter.
Absolutezero
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Why do you have to give the speech? Context?
Spiritual Being
hehehehehe
just talk bullshit
Capt Rifle
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talk about old aussie slang, how its all effed up haha
or talk about the presidential debate lol
or talk about the presidential debate lol
eshay lad 69
Member
start with a retorical question it always gets good marks my teacher is a hsc marker
simonwang12
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Ask them questions and then reward them with a banana if they get it right
hayabusaboston
Well-Known Member
A lions club meeting thing. 5 mins on any topic, hopefully entertaining, to show your general public speaking skills.
Last edited:
hayabusaboston
Well-Known Member
This just made me crack up so much haha. Though Eshay, goo point too. Rhetorical question to start. Mm.
hayabusaboston
Well-Known Member
k here's my speech, tell me, if it at least makes you LAUGH a little bit.
My name is Alexander Wojno. I’m an immigrant from South Africa, of Polish Heritage. I left south Africa when I was 8, flew to the colourful and much talked about Sydney in Australia, before eventually arriving here in Armidale. The time has flown by quickly indeed.
All in all, I wasn’t given many options when deciding what to talk about today. I was warned especially against speaking about politics, but I guess there’s no need for that in any case, politics speaks for itself. I realise it might be difficult blending the worlds of teenagers with adults, to somehow create a cogent response that encompasses both ends of the spectrum. I shall try my best to do so.
Now, when I was a little boy, I’d apparently been a cute little one, whom most of the adults couldn’t resist. I’d often be passed around picnic tables like a prized doll of sorts, all the adults marvelling at my adorable chubby face. How unfortunate that it all had to go away when I hit my teenage years! I didn’t even know until my brother told me one day that I looked like a small shrek.
And funnily enough, his good looks only escalated, and to this day he is classified as “The better looking brother”. I take solace in the fact that, even though I might not have the pleasure of getting together with some beautiful girls, my dog will always enjoy my company. As the saying goes,
the more people I meet in life, the more I love my dog. I can agree from experience.
If there is truly interesting thing about my junior years, it is that my hunger for sugary food was far greater than any fear of embarrassment in the act of obtaining it. In shopping malls in Johannesburg, all the main grocers and food shops had sweet bowls on their counters. As a hungry and audacious four year old I frequently strode up to the owner of the sweets and asked for some food. I usually was given the pot to take as many as I please. After stuffing my pockets with as much crystallised sugar as I could carry, I asked for more, so I could give it to my brother. Adults happily obliged. I waddled back to my parents and brother before unloading my tonne of treasure, giddy with excitement, mouth watering. Surprisingly, I’d never encountered any dental problems.
A particularly shocking experience from my childhood occurred at a certain resort outside Johannesburg, called Seppers Club. It was in a location where many exotic animals walked its perimeter, especially baboons. Once, I finished swimming in the pool and grabbed an apple from my parent’s picnic basket, before setting off on a little walk outside the fence. I walked cheerily up a little hill, munching on my apple. Out of nowhere, a baboon twice my size appeared and grabbed my apple straight out of my little hands, before running further up the hill. Furious, I ran after it, screaming at it to return my apple. At the very top of the hill, it turned around and screamed back at me, jaws wide open, shiny fangs bared. I was sure that I’d triggered a bowel movement, and a strong one at that. I ran down the hill, wailing and shaking in fear, desperately searching for my parents. It was one of the greatest shocks I’d ever received. On that day I discovered, size really does matter.
Moving right along to our expedition to Australia. It changed our lives completely, and added many new exciting things to our lifestyle.
Our first cinema outing was particularly exciting. Contrasting with South Africa, most Australian cinemas don’t have numbered seats. And people actually queue up! In Africa, it was a matter of push and shove to get anywhere near the better seats. If you weren’t tall or strong, you were often battered in the rush.
Then actually being IN the cinema, was a mindblowing experience. The movie trailer guy blew me away!
PREPARE
FOR THE ULTIMATE JOURNEY
INTO A WORLD UNKNOWN
WHERE DANGER LURKS IN EVERY CORNER
THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO
IS FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT
Spine tingling action films were and still are my favourite type of film.
And one of the coolest things about coming to Australia? Being able to talk to people with a heavy aussie accent. “Gdaaay mate! How ya goin? All good? Too easy mate! See ya later!” even though I knew I wasn’t going to see them later, I still said bye back. Though one might expect it to be hurtful and/or demeaning, I in fact wasn’t bothered at all by people pointing out my weird accent. My usual reply was “I change it according to the occasion”.
I’ll finish with a joke my dad once told me.
An elderly man and woman are having dinner. The man asks casually, “Honey, If I die before you, I want you to sell my stuff immediately”
The confused wife replied, “Why would you want me to do that?”
“Being the pretty woman you are, you’ll probably marry some other creep and I don’t want him using my stuff”
“What makes you say I’ll marry another creep?”
Thank you.
btw the bit in capitals I'll read with a don lafontaine voice, and the aussie accent with an aussie accent lol
My name is Alexander Wojno. I’m an immigrant from South Africa, of Polish Heritage. I left south Africa when I was 8, flew to the colourful and much talked about Sydney in Australia, before eventually arriving here in Armidale. The time has flown by quickly indeed.
All in all, I wasn’t given many options when deciding what to talk about today. I was warned especially against speaking about politics, but I guess there’s no need for that in any case, politics speaks for itself. I realise it might be difficult blending the worlds of teenagers with adults, to somehow create a cogent response that encompasses both ends of the spectrum. I shall try my best to do so.
Now, when I was a little boy, I’d apparently been a cute little one, whom most of the adults couldn’t resist. I’d often be passed around picnic tables like a prized doll of sorts, all the adults marvelling at my adorable chubby face. How unfortunate that it all had to go away when I hit my teenage years! I didn’t even know until my brother told me one day that I looked like a small shrek.
And funnily enough, his good looks only escalated, and to this day he is classified as “The better looking brother”. I take solace in the fact that, even though I might not have the pleasure of getting together with some beautiful girls, my dog will always enjoy my company. As the saying goes,
the more people I meet in life, the more I love my dog. I can agree from experience.
If there is truly interesting thing about my junior years, it is that my hunger for sugary food was far greater than any fear of embarrassment in the act of obtaining it. In shopping malls in Johannesburg, all the main grocers and food shops had sweet bowls on their counters. As a hungry and audacious four year old I frequently strode up to the owner of the sweets and asked for some food. I usually was given the pot to take as many as I please. After stuffing my pockets with as much crystallised sugar as I could carry, I asked for more, so I could give it to my brother. Adults happily obliged. I waddled back to my parents and brother before unloading my tonne of treasure, giddy with excitement, mouth watering. Surprisingly, I’d never encountered any dental problems.
A particularly shocking experience from my childhood occurred at a certain resort outside Johannesburg, called Seppers Club. It was in a location where many exotic animals walked its perimeter, especially baboons. Once, I finished swimming in the pool and grabbed an apple from my parent’s picnic basket, before setting off on a little walk outside the fence. I walked cheerily up a little hill, munching on my apple. Out of nowhere, a baboon twice my size appeared and grabbed my apple straight out of my little hands, before running further up the hill. Furious, I ran after it, screaming at it to return my apple. At the very top of the hill, it turned around and screamed back at me, jaws wide open, shiny fangs bared. I was sure that I’d triggered a bowel movement, and a strong one at that. I ran down the hill, wailing and shaking in fear, desperately searching for my parents. It was one of the greatest shocks I’d ever received. On that day I discovered, size really does matter.
Moving right along to our expedition to Australia. It changed our lives completely, and added many new exciting things to our lifestyle.
Our first cinema outing was particularly exciting. Contrasting with South Africa, most Australian cinemas don’t have numbered seats. And people actually queue up! In Africa, it was a matter of push and shove to get anywhere near the better seats. If you weren’t tall or strong, you were often battered in the rush.
Then actually being IN the cinema, was a mindblowing experience. The movie trailer guy blew me away!
PREPARE
FOR THE ULTIMATE JOURNEY
INTO A WORLD UNKNOWN
WHERE DANGER LURKS IN EVERY CORNER
THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO
IS FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT
Spine tingling action films were and still are my favourite type of film.
And one of the coolest things about coming to Australia? Being able to talk to people with a heavy aussie accent. “Gdaaay mate! How ya goin? All good? Too easy mate! See ya later!” even though I knew I wasn’t going to see them later, I still said bye back. Though one might expect it to be hurtful and/or demeaning, I in fact wasn’t bothered at all by people pointing out my weird accent. My usual reply was “I change it according to the occasion”.
I’ll finish with a joke my dad once told me.
An elderly man and woman are having dinner. The man asks casually, “Honey, If I die before you, I want you to sell my stuff immediately”
The confused wife replied, “Why would you want me to do that?”
“Being the pretty woman you are, you’ll probably marry some other creep and I don’t want him using my stuff”
“What makes you say I’ll marry another creep?”
Thank you.
btw the bit in capitals I'll read with a don lafontaine voice, and the aussie accent with an aussie accent lol