Virginity...Whats so special about keeping it? (1 Viewer)

[Spiritual Being]

well men aren't romantically attracted to promiscuous women because, from an evolutionary perspective, said women more likely to get pregnant by another man, and if a man wasn't sure about paternity then he was risking the devotion of his time and resources to raising a child that wasn't his. Therefore it benefited him to value women who weren't promiscuous.

Obviously, this isn't a conscious thing among people who oppose sex before marriage, it's just the psychological root of these feelings. Now, you can say that its dumb then because contraception means this isn't an issue any more and that we shouldn't base our values off of these old psychological 'instincts'

but love is basically the same thing. we feel romantic love because it would lead to a greater chance of successfully raising one's offspring. would you similarly claim that people who don't plan on having children (or at least not for a very long time) ought to dismiss such antiquated notions like love too?

This is good.

 

[Spiritual Being]

Not all Christians are against sex before marriage.

I would suggest that those who are biblical do oppose sex before marriage.

Yes, but what's religion? It's a man made construct and some kids take it upon themselves to craft their own variant of Christianity e.g. I'm Christian but I choose to have sex before marriage. Then some kid alleges "but that means you're not Christian", then the religion creator states "It's MY religion." (serious convo)

The amount of people that remain virginal until marriage is extremely small. I don't think having sex before marriage is a disaster, but everything in its rightful context i.e. a 13 year old having sex, that's not good. I'm dismissive of everyone when it comes to something as conclusively wrong as that.

Having intercourse at say, 16+ is understandable. (which makes sense since it's the legal age)

 

[RealiseNothing]

O H H H. G R A T Z M A N first time ever? Or just with that chick?

My first time was so so so unspecial ahaha.

>have gf
>we break up
>start talking to her friend about a year later
>tells me she is a virgin
>lie and pretend i'm not
>Igotthis.jpg
>one night she invites me over
>her parents are home so her and her friend sneak me in
>I get drunk off vodka, she tells me she mixes hers with hot water so it doesn't taste so bad
>not realizing she's pouring hers out and they are getting me drunk
>things progress
>tell her friend to get out of the bed and sleep on the floor
>get it in
>she tells me to stop after like 30 seconds cause it hurt too much
>bitchwat
>agree, as it was her first time and that shit hurts for girls.
>stop and go to mcdonalds and walk home.

fast forward one week

>she sleeps with my friend
>tells him she's actually fucked 17 guys

Explains why she was so easy I guess. She told her friend I was too big and her friend told some guy at my school who spread it around the whole school, and the rumours got exaggerated and now my school reckons I have a 14" dick. Meh, I'll roll with it. But yeah, that experience kinda sucked.

Holy shit that was an amazing story.

Sucks to have a 14" though...

 

[monsta4lyfe]

I have been offered three times for it. One by a girl who wanted to do it for the lulz, and twice with two guys who thought I was attractive (no homo btw, so it was an easy no, although I keep getting told I am attractive to other guys which doesn't help :/)

Tbh, I don't really see the need in rushing to lose it, I feel like if I do I'll feel like I'll lose the whole value, the whole point of what it is about, that is, letting you bond intimately with your chosen partner.

As a guy, I am actually quite a romanticist, that is I believe I'll one day meet my destined partner and it is with that person I will share all my best experiences with. It's a shame nobody in my generation quite shares my views anymore, but I think that's because my views are hundreds of years out-dated :/

*sigh*

 

[TLDR]

Holy shit that was an amazing story.

Sucks to have a 14" though...

I don't. That's just what the rumour escalated into.

 

[Examine]

I have been offered three times for it. One by a girl who wanted to do it for the lulz, and twice with two guys who thought I was attractive (no homo btw, so it was an easy no, although I keep getting told I am attractive to other guys which doesn't help :/)

Tbh, I don't really see the need in rushing to lose it, I feel like if I do I'll feel like I'll lose the whole value, the whole point of what it is about, that is, letting you bond intimately with your chosen partner.

As a guy, I am actually quite a romanticist, that is I believe I'll one day meet my destined partner and it is with that person I will share all my best experiences with. It's a shame nobody in my generation quite shares my views anymore, but I think that's because my views are hundreds of years out-dated :/

*sigh*

There's nothing wrong with that, and you'd be surprised how many people do share that view imo.

I don't. That's just what the rumour escalated into.

That's because it is actually 18'' right?

 

[Spiritual Being]

Tbh, I don't really see the need in rushing to lose it, I feel like if I do I'll feel like I'll lose the whole value, the whole point of what it is about, that is, letting you bond intimately with your chosen partner.

As a guy, I am actually quite a romanticist, that is I believe I'll one day meet my destined partner and it is with that person I will share all my best experiences with. It's a shame nobody in my generation quite shares my views anymore, but I think that's because my views are hundreds of years out-dated :/

*sigh*

Simply my life bro.

Dw, I get called a traditionalist everyday.

 

[jess_1495]

Simply my life bro.

Dw, I get called a traditionalist everyday.

What if one happens to find this person very early in life, should they than also wait until marriage

 

[Spiritual Being]

What if one happens to find this person very early in life, should they than also wait until marriage

I don't know what 'early' means to you.

 

[jess_1495]

I don't know what 'early' means to you.

Say 17-19 years young

 

[Spiritual Being]

Say 17-19 years young

That's good.

If you read on the previous page, kids under 16 losing their virginity is wrong, or that's at least how I perceive it.

 

[loversinjapan]

That would involve being extremely vulnerable in more ways than one. Why would I want to do that to myself with someone I might not speak to or give a shit about within a year? Every girl I know who has lost their virginity at <18 regretted it as soon as they broke up with their partners, or in the worst cases quite immediately (the lingering feelings of shame and vulnerability are very sad to see). I don't agree with girls <16 being sexually active as they're only 2 years above the Australian standard for doli incapax... seems a little creepy and wrong.
Also despite the politics of discrimination that have to do with this, I personally would feel really uncomfortable telling my future partner (whom I may plan to spend my future with) I've been with xx amount of guys before him. But again, everyone is different and entitled to their own values and opinions. There are plenty of people who are very liberal with their sexuality and have no problems at all!

But I guess to answer your question, an individual will place importance on their virginity depending on what their idea of sex is. Religion has definitely formed my view of sex as something beyond an act of enjoyment but at the same time I've formed opinions based on observations of other girls my age and I've found that losing your virginity is something really emotional for the majority of chicks because:
1) They put themselves in an incredibly vulnerable position with someone they may not have even fully trusted (emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually
2) Societal views of sexually active young people/slut shaming culture
3) It really hurt and they would've rather 'lost it' with someone they really loved/wanted to 'spend their life with' lol
4) Some chicks just associate virginity with purity and maintain the 'I can never get it back' stance

(as stupid as this sounds - just based on my experiences talking to girls who have gone through it)

 

[Drifting95]

Say 17-19 years young

It is dependent on the individual, one size doesn't fit all. For a couple at 17 (whom are not only in it for sex) they may feel like they're emotionally ready etc, but it might take another couple another few years to feel the same way.

 

[Spiritual Being]

That would involve being extremely vulnerable in more ways than one. Why would I want to do that to myself with someone I might not speak to or give a shit about within a year? Every girl I know who has lost their virginity at <18 regretted it as soon as they broke up with their partners, or in the worst cases quite immediately (the lingering feelings of shame and vulnerability are very sad to see). I don't agree with girls <16 being sexually active as they're only 2 years above the Australian standard for doli incapax... seems a little creepy and wrong.
Also despite the politics of discrimination that have to do with this, I personally would feel really uncomfortable telling my future partner (whom I may plan to spend my future with) I've been with xx amount of guys before him. But again, everyone is different and is entitled to their own values and opinions, there are plenty of people who are very liberal with their sexuality and have no problems at all!

fuck asdajksdjkasjkdjkasjkdas

I like your view

 

[jess_1495]

fuck asdajksdjkasjkdjkasjkdas

I like your view

Living life being afraid of being regretful is not the way to live. Of course we need to find "the one", but when we are in a relationship we think we have found the one, otherwise we wouldnt be with them.

 

[loversinjapan]

Living life being afraid of being regretful is not the way to live. Of course we need to find "the one", but when we are in a relationship we think we have found the one, otherwise we wouldnt be with them.

It's not living a life in fear of regret, it's being cautious about what you do with your body because you value yourself. I'm all for assessed risk and yes you're right, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

(Also SpiritualBeing I've updated my post)

 

[TLDR]

Living life being afraid of being regretful is not the way to live. Of course we need to find "the one", but when we are in a relationship we think we have found the one, otherwise we wouldnt be with them.

This.
You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone if you don't trust them and actually like them. If you're dating them at the time then why not have sex?If you regret it later on, whatever, at the time it's something you wanted to do.. Some people are way over emotional. Be mad if you will, but personally I don't get in a relationship with a girl until we've got somewhat intimate. I'm not gonna date a girl I've not even kissed, and from there it usually progresses pretty fast...

We're not living in the 1950's anymore. Take away the influence of religion and there's no reason that it's even special.

 

[loversinjapan]

This.
You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone if you don't trust them and actually like them. If you're dating them at the time then why not have sex?If you regret it later on, whatever, at the time it's something you wanted to do.. Some people are way over emotional. Be mad if you will, but personally I don't get in a relationship with a girl until we've got somewhat intimate. I'm not gonna date a girl I've not even kissed, and from there it usually progresses pretty fast...

We're not living in the 1950's anymore. Take away the influence of religion and there's no reason that it's even special.

It's fine that you feel that way about relationships but you do have to respect the fact that others hold different views. Also there are plenty of people who aren't religious and value their virginity out of personal morals.

 

[Spiritual Being]

But I guess to answer your question, an individual will place importance on their virginity depending on what their idea of sex is. Religion has definitely formed my view of sex as something beyond an act of enjoyment but at the same time I've formed opinions based on observations of other girls my age and I've found that losing your virginity is something really emotional for the majority of chicks because:
1) They put themselves in an incredibly vulnerable position with someone they may not have even fully trusted (emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually
2) Societal views of sexually active young people/slut shaming culture
3) It really hurt and they would've rather 'lost it' with someone they really loved/wanted to 'spend their life with' lol
4) Some chicks just associate virginity with purity and maintain the 'I can never get it back' stance

(as stupid as this sounds - just based on my experiences talking to girls who have gone through it)

This is true.

If you think about it, whether from a guy or girl perspective, ever-so-rarely are you going to form the bolded with a 16 year old.

That said, a lot of people think my religious beliefs have a great influence on me. It actually plays little to no role in the formation of my ethics (even though it probably should), BUT my views on important issues such as this happen to align with religion.

When I lose my virginity, I want to lose it to a girl that actually means something to me, and probably the girl that I'm going to marry. Maybe I'm just young and naive, but that's my view on it.

 

[loversinjapan]

This is true.

If you think about it, whether from a guy or girl perspective, ever-so-rarely are you going to form the bolded with a 16 year old.

That said, a lot of people think my religious beliefs have a great influence on me. It actually plays little to no role in the formation of my ethics (even though it probably should), BUT my views on important issues such as this happen to align with religion.

When I lose my virginity, I want to lose it to a girl that actually means something to me, and probably the girl that I'm going to marry. Maybe I'm just young and naive, but that's my view on it.

There's really nothing wrong with that and anyone who denies that they were a little naive when they were younger is a poo