I'm overwhelmed, hating life and sick of the HSC, but I need/want to do well (1 Viewer)

[w0bl]

So... I'm so stressed at this moment. Anxious. Depressed. Pretty much any crappy feeling you could imagine, I'm feeling it.

I need to do well. I want to do well SO badly. I want to get out of this nightmare and go to a good uni, doing what I want. But I obviously need a good ATAR to do this.

I have 0 support. And yes, I mean 0.

I feel like I've messed up my trials. English is in week 3 (1 week from now) and my essays suck. My marks reflect that. I just can't do well in it, even though I'm an above average student at English.

The rest of my subjects spread over week 3 and 4, I don't feel confident about, I feel so stressed and I'm going to mess them all up. I don't have any energy and I don't have the time.

It's not fair, I just want to do well, I'm trying my best, but it's soo hard. I wanted to prove so many people wrong this year with my ATAR, the ones that put me down and said I would do crap, and now I think I'm going to screw that up.

I need 92.

 

[BlueGas]

I'm in the same position as you, I've been having the same thoughts as you from the middle of the holidays, the worse thing that could happen to you is if these thoughts take control over you, don't let that happen. My teacher mentioned that students go through this phase before the trials, so it's normal for students to feel this way, and it's a sign that you won't do bad, because you care about your marks and your future. Start studying from now, do everything you can, do past HSC papers, study your notes if you're having trouble, read over your texts for English and analyse important quotes, do everything you can, JUST GO ALL OUT!!! You don't want to finish you're trials on a bad note, trust me once you've done good in your trials it'll motivate you so bad to smash your HSC exams. Don't worry about your marks now, it'll just put you down, think of the marks you want to achieve!

 

[snowflakeptical]

Yes pretty much 100% of us at this time!

I get scared looking at it holistically but I try breaking everything into manageable steps because what i do now will benefit me towards the big thing

Please talk to someone who is on the same boat as you or someone who has gone through it! Support such as school peers can really benefit. Remember when you start to feel overwhelmed, take breaks and do something that reduces your stress

 

[Katsumi]

Going to be very blunt here op

You are not a victim, you are not helpless, you are not special and most importantly, you are not alone.

What you are doing now is what i like to call adopting a "victim mentality", it's completely normal and most of us do it during our hsc year. You are depressed, you are anxious, nothing is going right and everything sucks. Amirite or amirite.

Well let me tell you right now that while the feelings that you're experiencing matter and are completely real, what you're doing is bullshit. Let's remember that you are in one of the most defining periods of your life. This being mentally, emotionally and academically. This is a moment to make it or break it as well as chisel yourself from the teenager you are to the young adult that you will become.

At the moment you're moping around with the same problems everyone else probably has (i know i did), hating yourself yet crying out that you want a good atar while not doing anything productive to get it. Well here's a news flash for you. If you continue doing this you will fail. I know in the past, that when you pleaded enough with your parents or teachers that you will get out of things just fine. That's not the case anymore. From today, assume that your problems are nobody's responsibility but your own and while some people will help you (like me, a complete stranger, spending my time to write this free of charge) nobody will fix them for you (this is called having personal boundries). Nobody can change you but yourself. I can't change you, nobody on BoS can change you, your parents and teachers (despite their best efforts) cannot change you.

You will never get the magical motivation that you desire and people like you are a dime a dozen on here. I don't know you but people have it way worse and you should take a step back and realize how ridiculous you're being right now.

Here's the idea that i can offer you.

Your actions change your reality and the only one ever holding you back is yourself. This isn't some deep psychological bullshit, it's simply a truth. Nothing is stopping you from working your ass off but yourself, you have full control of your body as a human being. If yo don't buy into me, get on the floor and do the worm, now. You can. Now with this, get up, move, stop being a fucking loser and work for what you want to achieve. It will be hard, it will hurt, but if you truly want to be fulfilled, you will make the decision at this very moment to do it, to not let your emotions define you and to work hard until the pens down of your final hsc exam.

You may be thinking "b-but where's the motivation Katsumi is g-g-gonna give me". There is none. I am in a very roundabout way telling you to stop being a crybaby. Face your problems head on and win. Or cry and go home to mummy and daddy. Make that decision, right now.

putting deciding off for one more second is also a way of deciding to run home to mummy

The second you decide, get up and start studying for at least an hour for your worst subject. Take that first step and back yo talk up. If you can't do this, i bet your parents will give you a hug and tell their baby that everything's ok.

I hate to brag but doing this got me a co-op scholarship so i went from a moping loser to someone not doing too bad for myself. Though I'm still quite immature in many respects.

This may seem a bit extensive but I'm going to literally just start linking this in reply to similar threads so people truly understand how standardized victim mentality actually is.

 

[snowflakeptical]

I vote for a 'katsumi screams at us thread'! lol
Very true words

 

[teridax]

I vote for a 'katsumi screams at us thread'! lol
Very true words

crobat 2.0

i believe maxwell is in line too

 

[snowflakeptical]

crobat 2.0

i believe maxwell is in line too

Maybe depending on who is more active. They could share the role?

 

[aanthnnyyy]

you are not alone... I have never felt so depressed in my life lol

 

[BLIT2014]

If you fail to reach your goal you can always do a different degree or at a different university and transfer.

 

[FlyingKanga]

If you fail to reach your goal you can always do a different degree or at a different university and transfer.

That's so pessimistically optimistic. You live up to that thingo under your name well. xD

 

[w0bl]

Going to be very blunt here op

You are not a victim, you are not helpless, you are not special and most importantly, you are not alone.

What you are doing now is what i like to call adopting a "victim mentality", it's completely normal and most of us do it during our hsc year. You are depressed, you are anxious, nothing is going right and everything sucks. Amirite or amirite.

Well let me tell you right now that while the feelings that you're experiencing matter and are completely real, what you're doing is bullshit. Let's remember that you are in one of the most defining periods of your life. This being mentally, emotionally and academically. This is a moment to make it or break it as well as chisel yourself from the teenager you are to the young adult that you will become.

At the moment you're moping around with the same problems everyone else probably has (i know i did), hating yourself yet crying out that you want a good atar while not doing anything productive to get it. Well here's a news flash for you. If you continue doing this you will fail. I know in the past, that when you pleaded enough with your parents or teachers that you will get out of things just fine. That's not the case anymore. From today, assume that your problems are nobody's responsibility but your own and while some people will help you (like me, a complete stranger, spending my time to write this free of charge) nobody will fix them for you (this is called having personal boundries). Nobody can change you but yourself. I can't change you, nobody on BoS can change you, your parents and teachers (despite their best efforts) cannot change you.

You will never get the magical motivation that you desire and people like you are a dime a dozen on here. I don't know you but people have it way worse and you should take a step back and realize how ridiculous you're being right now.

Here's the idea that i can offer you.

Your actions change your reality and the only one ever holding you back is yourself. This isn't some deep psychological bullshit, it's simply a truth. Nothing is stopping you from working your ass off but yourself, you have full control of your body as a human being. If yo don't buy into me, get on the floor and do the worm, now. You can. Now with this, get up, move, stop being a fucking loser and work for what you want to achieve. It will be hard, it will hurt, but if you truly want to be fulfilled, you will make the decision at this very moment to do it, to not let your emotions define you and to work hard until the pens down of your final hsc exam.

You may be thinking "b-but where's the motivation Katsumi is g-g-gonna give me". There is none. I am in a very roundabout way telling you to stop being a crybaby. Face your problems head on and win. Or cry and go home to mummy and daddy. Make that decision, right now.

putting deciding off for one more second is also a way of deciding to run home to mummy

The second you decide, get up and start studying for at least an hour for your worst subject. Take that first step and back yo talk up. If you can't do this, i bet your parents will give you a hug and tell their baby that everything's ok.

I hate to brag but doing this got me a co-op scholarship so i went from a moping loser to someone not doing too bad for myself. Though I'm still quite immature in many respects.

This may seem a bit extensive but I'm going to literally just start linking this in reply to similar threads so people truly understand how standardized victim mentality actually is.

I appreciate the reply.

However, I don't know where you got that I was telling everyone I was a "victim". You say a lot of things in this reply, that put false words in my mouth. But I understand this may be a general post to most 2015ers going through stress during the HSC.

I'm definitely not a victim, and never made myself out to be. When I said I had 0 support, I wasn't exaggerating, I wasn't flaunting it, it's a very sad fact. No, that's not me telling everyone "I'm a victim, look at me". It's just a fact I've had to accept. So that also means, no mummy to run to, no pats on the back.

I'm not moping around, I've been studying all holidays and prior to that for extensive hours every day. But obviously I've hit rock bottom. Or I've just hit a day where the stress is catching up to me and I'm panicking. I just feel like it hasn't been enough, and I'm scared for the trials. Very scared. I'm sad about myself, about how I could have been working the way I am now so much longer ago, and I might not have been in this situation.

I don't feel I'm being ridiculous. The fact you and others have pointed out that this is a common thing to go through during the HSC should be proof that this is not ridiculous. The fact that you also compared me to "others having it way worse" is pretty ridiculous. Are you talking about kids in Africa? Kids without homes? Their issues don't change my issues, or others, and the fact that I'm having some emotional trouble right now doesn't somehow make it not real when comparing it to other issues.

And I thank everyone in this thread, because I wasn't sure if other people were experiencing this. And it's comforting (lol) to know that other people are too.

But, thanks everyone. And lastly, once again, I never said I was a victim, never thought I was, I also don't believe I'm being ridiculous. Hope others also see this thread and find it helpful that others are struggling as well.

 

[BLIT2014]

You are not alone in feeling this. It seems tough/hard now but you've got less then 100 days until its all over.

You can do this. You can complete it. You've already made it this far. Go kill the HSC

 

[Katsumi]

I made it very clear in the first 10 words of my multi paragraph post that you weren't a victim. That was literally the entire point of my post. Omg.

You do have a victim mentality. I know one when i see one. You wouldn't have posted this on bored of studies if you didn't.

By people worse off than you i mean, for example, a friend of a friend that had the intelligence to get into med yet had to work 11 hour days just to keep his family under a roof. Who attended school 4 days out of the year. Dont compare yourself to kids in africa dude, that's just petty.

I also made it very clear that your problems mattered at the beginning of my 4th paragraph.

The past doesn't exist, the future doesn't exist, what exists is the moment and only the moment. If you want to spend the moment depressed uhh... good for you?

Tbh if you fail i couldn't care so glhf

Note that if you think I'm being a dick you're gravely wrong. I very highly value my time.

 

[DatAtarLyfe]

Well said Katsumi

 

[w0bl]

I made it very clear in the first 10 words of my multi paragraph post that you weren't a victim. That was literally the entire point of my post. Omg.

You do have a victim mentality. I know one when i see one. You wouldn't have posted this on bored of studies if you didn't.

By people worse off than you i mean, for example, a friend of a friend that had the intelligence to get into med yet had to work 11 hour days just to keep his family under a roof. Who attended school 4 days out of the year. Dont compare yourself to kids in africa dude, that's just petty.

I also made it very clear that your problems mattered at the beginning of my 4th paragraph.

The past doesn't exist, the future doesn't exist, what exists is the moment and only the moment. If you want to spend the moment depressed uhh... good for you?

Tbh if you fail i couldn't care so glhf

Note that if you think I'm being a dick you're gravely wrong. I very highly value my time.

Hey, I know you're not being a dick. I'm just politely disagreeing with some of the things you wrote. Like I said above, I appreciated the reply.

And literally the whole point of my reply was explaining that I never THOUGHT I was a victim. You made it clear that I THOUGHT I was a victim, and yes spent your post telling me that I wasn't. That wasn't needed, since I never thought I was a victim.

But if you really think I have a victim mentality, okay well yeah maybe I do have it worse off than 90% of the BOSers on here. I'm not going to explain myself, or my disadvantages. Because I know I'm not a victim, that's not even an issue. Everyone has their own issues and struggles.

Haha, man what are you saying? "don't compare yourself to kids in africa"??

Coming here for help shouldn't be ridiculed. I'd rather ask for help than whither away and die.

But AGAIN, I appreciate your post. Don't get caught up in me disagreeing with a few points.

Good luck to all 2015ers. Not long to go, you can't change the past, so just smash out these last weeks/months.

 

[nerdasdasd]

I feel like I've messed up my trials. English is in week 3 (1 week from now) and my essays suck. My marks reflect that. I just can't do well in it, even though I'm an above average student at English.

The rest of my subjects spread over week 3 and 4, I don't feel confident about, I feel so stressed and I'm going to mess them all up. I don't have any energy and I don't have the time.

It's not fair, I just want to do well, I'm trying my best, but it's soo hard. I wanted to prove so many people wrong this year with my ATAR, the ones that put me down and said I would do crap, and now I think I'm going to screw that up.

I need 92.

Stress relieving techniques

> Take a deep breath, release it slowly,... repeat 5 to 10x. It will release that stress and tension.
> Go for a run

Now let's address your points.
1. Marks are not the be all, end all (with some context). How are your ranks in relation to others? You may have harsh markers at your school?
2. How do you know you will mess up if you haven't done the exams yet? That isn't helpful thinking at all. Just try your best and focus your efforts on your studies, rather than the negative.
3. What underlying facts and assumptions prove their point. If there are no facts / assumptions, don't give weight to what they say.

 

[Schmeag]

If you fail to reach your goal you can always do a different degree or at a different university and transfer.

The above is good advice. You've probably been told this, but HSC isn't the be all and end of of all things. Neither is university. There are many pathways to get to where you want to be.

In any case, ATAR 92 is pretty good and you shouldn't beat yourself up for not achieving this goal.

You also shouldn't beat yourself about what you should or shouldn't have done. Be more forward-looking. Do your best.

Nevertheless, I don't want to douse your desire to succeed. Get yourself stressed enough to perform, but not stressed to the point of exhaustion.

 

[Katsumi]

Hey, I know you're not being a dick. I'm just politely disagreeing with some of the things you wrote. Like I said above, I appreciated the reply.

And literally the whole point of my reply was explaining that I never THOUGHT I was a victim. You made it clear that I THOUGHT I was a victim, and yes spent your post telling me that I wasn't. That wasn't needed, since I never thought I was a victim.

But if you really think I have a victim mentality, okay well yeah maybe I do have it worse off than 90% of the BOSers on here. I'm not going to explain myself, or my disadvantages. Because I know I'm not a victim, that's not even an issue. Everyone has their own issues and struggles.

Anyway that's besides the point, let's just keep this on topic, agree to disagree in some respects and drop it.

Haha, man what are you saying? "don't compare yourself to kids in africa"??

Coming here for help shouldn't be ridiculed. I'd rather ask for help than whither away and die.

But AGAIN, I appreciate your post. Don't get caught up in me disagreeing with a few points.

Good luck to all 2015ers. Not long to go, you can't change the past, so just smash out these last weeks/months.

I'm not caught up, don't sweat it hahaha. Conflict and difference in viewpoints is very common with everyone and i simply value not avoiding them for the sake of it. I'm definitely not rideculing you, just making a brutally honest post with my legitimate experiences based on these past 1.5 years of extensive personal development.

Anyway that's besides the point, let's just agree to disagree in some respects and drop it

 

[Swaan]

OP.... you've come so far and you're almost at the finish line. Think about it like this; if you were giving birth and you've managed to push the baby's head out, then you can sure as hell push out the rest of its body. Ofc it will hurt and you'll want to die but you've already gone through so much pain so what's a few more pushes to get a beautiful end result?

PUSH THAT BABY OUT!!!

 

[Examine]

As Swaan has said already, you have gone through most of Year 12 already and are at the final push. The HSC is very stressful for everybody, and it's very easy to get caught up with that. I just want you to know that many people on this forum support you, and can generally understand what you're going through. The best thing to do now is not to think about how much your essays suck or how underprepared you feel, but to see how you can translate the remaining time you have to efficient studying.

Good luck for the HSC, we all support you, and I hope you get over 92 ^__^