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ujuphleg

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anyway back to Rufus....

an activity confined forevermore to John Howard and all other followers of Satan. Frantically, he searched through his sheets for his Frontline book which he was reading before he drifted off to sleep, and was comforted by the familiar, if somewhat gormless expression on the face of Mike Moore.

It was at this point that Rufus knew that he would fail modules tommorow. After all, he had spent the entire day on the Bored of Studies...
 
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hotcocoababe

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ujuphleg said:
anyway back to Rufus....

an activity confined forevermore to John Howard and all other followers of Satan. Frantically, he searched through his sheets for his Frontline book which he was reading before he drifted off to sleep, and was comforted by the familiar, if somewhat gormless expression on the face of Mike Moore.

It was at this point that Rufus knew that he would fail modules tommorow. After all, he had spent the entire day on the Bored of Studies...
site, repping hotocoababe (thanxs for that ujuphleg LOL) and just generally being a nuisance :D

In on day, Rufus managed to
1) screw up somebody's love life in the relationships forum
2) convince someone that they were a failure in the adv eng forum
3) instruct someone in the advice forum to surgically remove their own balls (ouch)

And therefore, Rufus felt he would actually go VERY well in modules tomoro, considering he was just so incredibly talented (yet still couldnt remember his own name, unfortunately)
 

fuckfoot

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and it was then that rufus stared up at the sky and wondered "who am i?"

he collected all his things; his chewing gum, his clogs, his old blue sponge, and he tossed them into a plastic bag. as he crossed his threshold (possibly for the last time) he turned around and uttered "i'll see you in hell modules"

and his sillouhette dissolved into the night.

months later rufus turned up in a dumpster. he was tired, cold, alone. he had a purple crayon clutched in his fist. he was in jerusalem.
 

goldendawn

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fuckfoot said:
and it was then that rufus stared up at the sky and wondered "who am i?"

he collected all his things; his chewing gum, his clogs, his old blue sponge, and he tossed them into a plastic bag. as he crossed his threshold (possibly for the last time) he turned around and uttered "i'll see you in hell modules"

and his sillouhette dissolved into the night.

months later rufus turned up in a dumpster. he was tired, cold, alone. he had a purple crayon clutched in his fist. he was in jerusalem.


Above the dumpster in Jerusalem, the sky burned; stars wheeling overhead like distant flames. And an angel descended. And it said unto Rufus:

"Thy crayon is thy tool, for only through thy crayon shall thy know thy truth. Only through it shall an image of life emerge, and only through it shall you give form to an infinite plan. Long have we fought against the evil that lives at the heart of HSC. So let thy crayon be thy truth!"

But Rufus just looked at the angel incoherently, turned over and went back to sleep, because he didn't speak Hebrew. But long did those strange words haunt his sleep, and when he awoke from the dumpster two weeks later, he found his desire to find himself burned stronger than the brilliant stars on that fateful night. And, because of the angels words (thanks Gabriel :) ) in his subconscious their lived a plan that grew as he breathed.
 

Enlightened_One

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goldendawn said:
Above the dumpster in Jerusalem, the sky burned; stars wheeling overhead like distant flames. And an angel descended. And it said unto Rufus:

"Thy crayon is thy tool, for only through thy crayon shall thy know thy truth. Only through it shall an image of life emerge, and only through it shall you give form to an infinite plan. Long have we fought against the evil that lives at the heart of HSC. So let thy crayon be thy truth!"

But Rufus just looked at the angel incoherently, turned over and went back to sleep, because he didn't speak Hebrew. But long did those strange words haunt his sleep, and when he awoke from the dumpster two weeks later, he found his desire to find himself burned stronger than the brilliant stars on that fateful night. And, because of the angels words (thanks Gabriel :) ) in his subconscious their lived a plan that grew as he breathed.

A plan that was hindered by the evil HSC which disposed of all the contributors to this thread who were off furiously studying. Thus the poor Rufus waited, his plan forming slowly, and then suddenly it struck him.
By the ironies of the contradiction of melodrama he would not find himself out in the next post. He knew he would endure the worst the authors could give him and eventually one would confirm who he really was.
So Rufus decided the best way to get on with all of this was to take a journey. Being the conservative sort, epsecially considering the mutterings of distant terrorist friend of a friend, Hasan Al Akbaba (No stereotypes here), and his malovent bearded boss, Bob, he decided to take the first ship leaving the country.
Thus the thoroughly confused and concerned man sighted the large Japanese coal ship bound for a foreign and distant land. Hastily Rufus approahced, and signaled the captain. After conveniently realising he can speak Japanese, Rufus found himself hired as a sailor. And so as the dying sun settled beneath the rolling waves, Rufus stared towards the horizon, the beginning of his journey of self discovery...
 
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Thanks to global pollution, Moby Dick had also accidentally swallowed half a tonne of cigarettes, that for the purpose of "Hollywood Magic" (don't worry, no animals were harmed during the production of this story) had somehow caught on fire.

Moby Dick coughed. And then...
 

Enlightened_One

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However, all was not well in the world. The inexplicably unexplainable phenomenon that was schoolies was beginning. The level of alcoholic fumes, noise of partying and number of virtues being shattered had nothing to do with Rufus, but temporarily ripped a hole in the fabric of the space time continuim (not exactly sure how) and sucked Rufus through...into a parallel and futuristic dimension.....
 
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Through which time flowed like a swift river, turning and twisting like some sort of insane water slide at Wacky Water World.

Suddenly, it stopped. Rufus looked around, confused and cautious.

At this point in time, glitterfairy was really just too tired and feeling completely not creative, so with the help of the new aerosol she just bought (aerosols are so cool, even more so if they don't have CFC's) she nudged the flow of time back on track, but then...
 

Enlightened_One

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glitterfairy said:
Through which time flowed like a swift river, turning and twisting like some sort of insane water slide at Wacky Water World.

Suddenly, it stopped. Rufus looked around, confused and cautious.

At this point in time, glitterfairy was really just too tired and feeling completely not creative, so with the help of the new aerosol she just bought (aerosols are so cool, even more so if they don't have CFC's) she nudged the flow of time back on track, but then...

Enlightened one, being influenced by the works of Douglas Adams which he had just read, decided Rufus out to embark upon a journey into the far reaches of outer space.
Conveniently he appeared before Rufus in a flash of light. Behind him a huge metal space ship. It's sleek curves glisten in the darkness, refelcting light from a starless sky.
In another flash Enlightened One disappeared and Rufus was left standing there thoroughly confused. He stumbled toward the alien craft, all the time wondering such things as who controlled his fate? Were there other sentinent life forms beyond this planet? What is the meaning of life? And what is for breakfast?
On the side of the space ship a door fluttered open, green light flowing out and a ramp descended. Rufus stared up in wonder. Slowly a shadowy figure moved down the ramp, stopping before Rufus.
Before him was a four legged, three armed robot with a tin can for a head. He possessed one large optical sensor and two huge speakers accompanied by a sub. With an artifical accent he spoke.
"Greetings Earth resident, I am TC-8790, but you can call me Bob. I am a highly intelligent, mutlitasked, artifical being with capabilties beyond measure. And I'm stuck with you. Oh by the way we have to rescue John and save the universe."
Dumbstruck, Rufus asked "Who's john."
"He was the original protagonist but he disappeared a while ago and resurfaced...
 

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