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I'd be disturbed if they didPrettyVacant said:My parents do not have any place in my love life...at all.
I never thought we were talking about mainland Chinese guys. When your parents said they want you to find a Chinese husband, they didn't seriously mean going back to China?!Cykologi_gal said:Ha, I don't hate Asians, but I'd hate to have one for a husband...but I'm only 18.
What I meant by "I want someone who have seen the world like I have" is that I've been here for 10 years and through this, I think I've been too westernized at times, too accepting (kind of ironic here), too liberal, so much so that I don't think I can't stand those Chinese guys back on the mainland. Mum kind of wants me to go back there and for further study...as if!!!
OK that's a bit ridiculous. You obviously haven't been exposed to many males in your life.Cykologi_gal said:I'm afraid that Asian's are all frigid and unromantic. That's a stereotypical view, isn't it?! But I can't shake it off. The Chinese/Asians that I've seen are all kind of sloppy in their dress sense, laid back, nerdy + excellent grades as well
You're the one raising your kids. Not your parents. So if your parents have put you under immense amounts of pressure during school, it's likely that you'll remember to loosen up a bit with YOUR kids because you know from your experience that it's not a good approach.Cykologi_gal said:I don't want to partner up with another Asian and give my kids another set of Asian parents, I've personally had a difficult time growing up, with homework, threats of cancellations of going-outs, no partying unless grades are 90% etc etc, Freud would have something good to say here.
Egronk said:So if your parents disapprove of Australian culture so much, why did they come here?
I know, I know, because unlike the culture that they want to hold onto so fucking tightly, our society has opportunities for anyone to be financially prosperous.
haha.. almost exact same situation here, except my parents have never been crazy about my grades - although they're happy I made it to selective school and USyd etc, they were NEVER pressuring me too much about school performance - and I think that actually helped.Cykologi_gal said:Dad first came here in 1990 because both my parents felt that a 'wider' education, like, a second language especially English etc, would be beneficial for me. Dad first considered England, then the U.S. but didn't get accepted. It's also 'cos we neede money and there were offers in China for ppl to go to foreign countries to earn $$$. It's also because it's really difficult to get into uni in China because there's just too much competition and pressure (dense population), even though I'd only been 2. My uncle on my mum's side 'cursed' me, saying that my future'd be ruined 'cos he thought rules were really lax here. So dad put extra pressure on me to get into selective school and making me consider suicide in the process =S .
It's quite ironic, they knew they'd be takinga risk, tried to protect me from it (the 'openess' of the West), yet neglected me at the same time. Grades and studies are everything to them. They'd think I'd have everything if my grades are good - not so, I had to fight the emotional and mental battles all on my own. Because we're poor, even though we're here, it's a struggle, so their focus is to get me out of this hole. I understand that, but they're ignoring my emotional side. They've unintentionally opened up a whole new world for me.
They're like " 'grab' the 'good stuff', the values from the Australian culture and leave the 'liberating' stuff " - they saw how 'wild' and laidback Aussies can get and didn't want me to party, go out etc etc if my grades weren't up to standard...just to show the family back in China that I'm not rubbish, that their choice is correct. Yet at the end of the day, that's all over, I'm at USyd, I've a most perfect boyfriend who doesn't quite understand the Asian parents' toil either lol...it's my liberation, my life from now.
P.S. Remind me to teach my b.f. Mando and the (new and updated) Chinese culture 'cos mum'd only accept Western guys if she can understand them and if he understands the Chinese culture etc lol. Man, I'm in such an inferno.
Aussie b/f: damage INC?what971 said:haha.. almost exact same situation here, except my parents have never been crazy about my grades - although they're happy I made it to selective school and USyd etc, they were NEVER pressuring me too much about school performance - and I think that actually helped.
Oh, and I HAD an Aussie b/f, but I have a Korean one right now.