Not-That-Bright
Andrew Quah
Yea... is anyone actually scared of their results?
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Are you doing an all-nighter for results? if so spam here. (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Not-That-Bright
- Start date
persephone
Active Member
i'll try to sleep but i have recently experienced a bout of insomnia....must distract myself with one tree hill. i will get up early though...i'll be here bright and early...
nomz
Member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2004
- Messages
- 173
i'm hell scared of my results... everyone think i'm gonna do well... but i know i did crap coz i majorly screwed up, but hey... there's nothing we can do now right? Unless we detroy the BOS somehow... evil ones! My good luck wishes are with you all...
hahaha exactlykimmeh said:can we spam here if we have our results anyway ?
Ill see if I can manage to stay up anyway just to see the cries of joy and the people gradually disappearing from MSN....i wouldnt say im scared of the results, but more anxious/nervous
back to the jokes
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby cop approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could charge you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
back to the jokes
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby cop approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could charge you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
ur_inner_child
.%$^!@&^#(*!?.%$^?!.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2004
- Messages
- 6,084
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2004
lol i actually havent heard that and laughed at thatdafidav said:
EINSTEIN dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein Ponders for a few seconds and asks,
"Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint peter snaps his fingers and a blacboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks, "Mind if I Use that blackboard?"
Saint peter says, "Go Ahead"
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural.
Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
George W. Looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George"
"Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint peter snaps his fingers and a blacboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.
Saint Peter suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks, "Mind if I Use that blackboard?"
Saint peter says, "Go Ahead"
Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural.
Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
George W. Looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George"
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him,resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been dude?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through
the clouds, "Look Mick, look what I've made."-
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet,- replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance"
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, For example, Northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe
is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.
"Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold
and covered in ice"
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass In
the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah" said God. "That's Australia, the most glorious place on Earth. There
are beautiful mountains, rainforests, rivers, stream and an exquisite
coast-line. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and
they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely
sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them
super-human, undefeatable football players who will be admired and feared by
all who come across them".
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then "You said there will be
BALANCE!"
God replied wisely.
"Wait until you see the ugly, whingeing, sheep rooting, Kiwi bastards I'm
putting next to them".
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him,resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been dude?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through
the clouds, "Look Mick, look what I've made."-
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet,- replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance"
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, For example, Northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe
is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.
"Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold
and covered in ice"
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass In
the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah" said God. "That's Australia, the most glorious place on Earth. There
are beautiful mountains, rainforests, rivers, stream and an exquisite
coast-line. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and
they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely
sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them
super-human, undefeatable football players who will be admired and feared by
all who come across them".
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then "You said there will be
BALANCE!"
God replied wisely.
"Wait until you see the ugly, whingeing, sheep rooting, Kiwi bastards I'm
putting next to them".
Top ten things that sound dirty at the office but aren't
10) I need to whip it out by five
9) Mind if I use your laptop?
8) Just stick it in my box
7) If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6) I want it on my desk now
5) Hmmmmmmmm.......I think it's out of fluid
4) My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish
3) It's an entry level position
2) When do you think you'll be getting off today
And the number one thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't:
1) It's not fair...I do all the work while she just sits there!
10) I need to whip it out by five
9) Mind if I use your laptop?
8) Just stick it in my box
7) If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6) I want it on my desk now
5) Hmmmmmmmm.......I think it's out of fluid
4) My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish
3) It's an entry level position
2) When do you think you'll be getting off today
And the number one thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't:
1) It's not fair...I do all the work while she just sits there!
lol if you insistLainee said:Hehehehehe So entertaining. I think I might actually stick here until tomorrow now. As long as dafidav keeps the jokes up for the next couple of hrs.
i've got a stack of joke email that i can copy from