Are you doing an all-nighter for results? if so spam here. (1 Viewer)

[dafidav]

A little boy walks into a public restroom where a airman is taking a piss.
He says to the airman: "Sir, are you a real airman?" Yeah,", the guy
replied, " Would you like to wear my hat?" "Yes, please!", says the boy.
So he puts on the airman's hat. A sailor walks in. The boy says, "Sir are
you a real sailor?" "Yeah, ", says the sailor " would you like to suck my
dick?" The boy thinks about it for a minute and replies "No, I'm not a
real airman, I'm just wearing his hat!"

 

[superbird]

lol...
i dont think ill be doin an all-nighter. fuck that. mite get up at 6 tho to check results ;p

 

[dafidav]

A bear was chasing a rabbit through the forest when they both run into a magic lamp and, POOF! a genie appears. He says "Because you were both responsible for freeing me, I will grant you three wishes each!"

The bear goes first. "I wish that every other bear in this forest except for me was female!" POOF! the other bears all turn female and start batting their eyelashes at the bear.

The rabbit looks at the bear a moment, then says "I wish I had a motorcycle helmet." POOF! a helmet appears on his head.

The bear is thinking, Stupid rabbit, wasting a wish on something like that! Then he roars "I wish all the bears in the next forest were females too!" and POOF!, the neighboring bears turn into girls.

Rabbit says quietly, "I wish I had a motorcycle." POOF! a motorcycle appears beside him.

Bear laughs mockingly and thinks, Dumb rabbit, he could have wished for a million motorcycles! Then he says aloud, "I wish all the bears in the ENTIRE WORLD were female!" And POOF!, female bears as far as the eye could see.

The rabbit climbs onto his motorcycle, grins at the bear, and says "I wish this bear was gay." And speeds away as fast as he can go.

 

[dafidav]

lol...
i dont think ill be doin an all-nighter. fuck that. mite get up at 6 tho to check results ;p

ur weak................................

 

[dafidav]

heres a good for all u med students




Students at the Harvard University Med School were receiving their
first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They are all gathered
around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

Then the professor started the class by telling them: "In medicine,
it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:
The first is that it is necessary that you not be disgusted."

The Professor uncovered the sheet, sunk his finger in the ass of
the dead body, withdrew it and sucked it. "Go ahead and do the same
thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated and subsequently taking turns,
sunk their finger in the ass of the dead body and sucked it after
withdrawing it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them
and told them:
"The second important quality is observation. I sunk the
middle finger and sucked the index finger. Pay attention people!!!"

 

[Not-That-Bright]

Yea man ur weak. Stay up all night u weak weaker.

 

[dafidav]

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?"

Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'"

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Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighbourhood late at
night, trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty glass onto
the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mouse trap, I
lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it
in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to workup an appetite, and then
make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks them down one after
the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the first mouse and
replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take
it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I
can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.

The third mouse chugs the pint of Aussie beer he has in front of him, lets
out a long belch and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this
bullshit. I'm off home to shag the cat."

 

[dafidav]

A guy walks into a bar and proceeds to get well and truely trashed. eventually he is thrown out.

He starts stumbling home when he sees a nun across the street. He stumbles over to her, grabs her habbit and punches her in the face. He then starts laying into her, kicking and punching and when she falls to the ground, he continues to beat her up.

Just as she is about to pass out, the guy grabs her habbit and pulls her face up close to his. "you're not so tough tonight are ya batman!"

 

[dafidav]

Q. How do you fit a girraffe in the fridge?

A. Open the door and put the girraffe in the fridge.

Q. How do you fit an elephant in the fridge?

A. Opern the door, take the giraffe out an put the eliphant in the fridge.

Q. If there was a meeting of all of the animals of the world who wouldn't be there?

A. The eliphant. He's still stuck in the fridge.

Q. If you were to swim in the Adelaide river would you be eaten by crocodiles wold you be eaten?

A. No they are all at the meeting.

 

[dafidav]

Two neighbouring wives are out in their front yards one day talking to each other whilest doing a bit of gardening. One of them spots her husband walking back towards the house with a bunch of flowers in his hand. The woman says to the other wife:
"Looks like i'll be lying on my back with my legs in the air tonight "
.... the other wife looks at the woman a bit confused and says:
"Why? Dont you own a vase?"

 

[superbird]

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1400&item=6729207281&rd=1&tc=photo

 

[dafidav]

looks like im out of jokes

ill try to post some later tonite from other froums

ooooo apprentice is nearly on

gotta go get ready

hehehe

cyas later

PS: read link on page 6, you'll thank me for it

 

[nomz]

well... i'm back!!! its now only 8 hours til the hsc results are released... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats all i have to say on the matter.....

 

[SKA]

can you guys help me..

what time are you able to get your results ??
how do you do it??
and how can you get that sms thingo?

 

[nomz]

umm... you can get the results from 6 am on the board of studies or students online web page... or with the sms thing you should of got a letter with the number and stuff... actually i think the details are on the board web site as well...

 

[SKA]

ohhh fanks.. i think i might go to the board of studies website

 

[joujou_84]

dafidav.............on behalf of everyone who appreciated ur jokes........i would like to thank u for keeping me entertained for 2 hrs...................good luck with ur results....

 

[nomz]

yes definately... how cool were the jokes? seriously diverted my mind for the brief interlude it was permitted... I shall take this time to wish EVERYONE all the best with their results, I hope you all get what you need to follow you aspirations

 

[Not-That-Bright]

You Guys Are Weak Only 8 More Hours Don't Give Up Now!

 

[nomz]

oh... i'm not giving up... i'm randomly explorin' da net and just high on coffee and coke and all things caffine related... yay! it's so fun... i'm not stressin... no not at all...