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Are you too shy to approach a girl / guy? Ideas? (4 Viewers)

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i agree with them^^

liquer is the best cure for shyness. sometimes it works to good and you become over confident. and that could end up with a slap in the face. :eek:
 

LazyBoy

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lol. i said that because its a very funny story and something to show that there are other people in the same or worse boat.

But why would it be dragging me or my mates down? im mr confidence im no longer shy. and as for my mates they know they are too shy, they bag each other about it all the time. Its the Australian Way.
 

Grobus

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If you like someone, and you are picking up positive vibes from them, you may as well ask them out. The best thing is not to dick around in my experience, be up front (but not confronting).

Its not like youve lost anything if they say "no".
 

Skittled

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Biting the bullet is easier said than done. Confidence is not just a BS mindgame you've gotta play with yourself, it's a reflection of your own understanding of yourself and your abilities/skills/talent/looks/etc.

If you wanna develop confidence it's a big step from not having it to being able to sweep someone off their feet in the first meeting. That was my experience, anyway.

The solution for me was to stop trying to pick up and start to just talk to people.

Read 'Conversationally Speaking' if you're really not confident, or better yet -- get a job in retail! Learn how to start a conversation smoothly (please no pickup lines, except for in exceptional circumstances!), how to keep it going. Get some stories. Don't make them up, but find them, remember them, keep an eye out for them. I suck at telling stories, but even that's something to talk about. Have a PASSION, and be passionate about it - it's very contagious! Try to cut a conversation short before it goes downhill; it starts going bad, you look like an ass, you get 'rejected'.

DON'T approach the girls giggling in a group around a table in thier own little clique (at first); DO talk to the people when you're standing in a line or in some situation when there are people waiting, or to sales assitants.. (not just girls!!! other guys, younger people, OLD people are an awesome source of stories!).

Everyone will have their own opinion of how to do it, and some things work for some people, others work for other. Stop worrying about what to do, and just do it.
 

loquasagacious

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Alcohol = dutch courage. Probably works up until your blind drunk.
 

beer goggles

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Skittled said:
Biting the bullet is easier said than done. Confidence is not just a BS mindgame you've gotta play with yourself, it's a reflection of your own understanding of yourself and your abilities/skills/talent/looks/etc.

If you wanna develop confidence it's a big step from not having it to being able to sweep someone off their feet in the first meeting. That was my experience, anyway.

The solution for me was to stop trying to pick up and start to just talk to people.

Read 'Conversationally Speaking' if you're really not confident, or better yet -- get a job in retail! Learn how to start a conversation smoothly (please no pickup lines, except for in exceptional circumstances!), how to keep it going. Get some stories. Don't make them up, but find them, remember them, keep an eye out for them. I suck at telling stories, but even that's something to talk about. Have a PASSION, and be passionate about it - it's very contagious! Try to cut a conversation short before it goes downhill; it starts going bad, you look like an ass, you get 'rejected'.

DON'T approach the girls giggling in a group around a table in thier own little clique (at first); DO talk to the people when you're standing in a line or in some situation when there are people waiting, or to sales assitants.. (not just girls!!! other guys, younger people, OLD people are an awesome source of stories!).

Everyone will have their own opinion of how to do it, and some things work for some people, others work for other. Stop worrying about what to do, and just do it.
as much as i agree with your advice, u just contradicted urself
 

beer goggles

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addymac said:
Alcohol = dutch courage. Probably works up until your blind drunk.
isnt dutch courage better than having none at all

then once uve realised that girls arent that threatening, u wont need to drink just to talk to them
 

HerO

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Shyness goes with low self esteem, some people just either feel they can't compete with other guys (those that are louder, eccentric and egocentric) or just think the girl is wayyyyyyyy too good for them. I know it cuz i'm shy, it totally fken sucks!
 

beer goggles

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HerO said:
Shyness goes with low self esteem, some people just either feel they can't compete with other guys (those that are louder, eccentric and egocentric) or just think the girl is wayyyyyyyy too good for them. I know it cuz i'm shy, it totally fken sucks!

well i used to be the shy kid 2.....i still am sometimes.....shyness is something that can be overcome though...............and its important to realise that not only is it a 'condition' - i cant think of another word - , but its also a mindset

if you go around talking about how ur shy and how it 'totally fken sucks!' then ur never gonna be able to overcome that

its a state of mind, and u have to believe in yourself in order to overcome it

i am talking from experience, not just some arrogant prick that claims to know how the mind works
 

miss_b

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beer goggles said:
well i used to be the shy kid 2.....i still am sometimes.....shyness is something that can be overcome though...............and its important to realise that not only is it a 'condition' - i cant think of another word - , but its also a mindset

if you go around talking about how ur shy and how it 'totally fken sucks!' then ur never gonna be able to overcome that

its a state of mind, and u have to believe in yourself in order to overcome it

i am talking from experience, not just some arrogant prick that claims to know how the mind works
I pretend not to be shy all the tim, but really, i am a shy person. It is seriously hideable.
 

beer goggles

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yeah it fully is hideable aye

then once u keep getting used to 'hiding it' u eventually wont be shy anymore

uv just g otta make hte first step
 

Keen

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Yeah, I used to be very shy one year ago.
Throughout the year (my first year at uni) I had some good friends who made me comfortable with me, I also had an opportunity to be more independant, do what I want etc (living away from home) and this helped so much.
I also started going to the gym, caring a bit about how I looked and I'm pretty happy with myself.
While I'm still shy at times, most of the time I turn it off and am very sociable, but I still have problems going up to girls and talking, asking out etc but I'll work on that this year.

Just feel good about yourself, you have a lot to offer, find it express it, even get a bit arrogant (just don't really show it but feel it), don't act all try-hard but you'll be fine. Just figure it out and make sure you're always trying to tackle it because given time and effort you'll lose it, but if you do nothing, you might end up like some of the guys talked about.

Keen
 

beer goggles

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Keen said:
Yeah, I used to be very shy one year ago.
Throughout the year (my first year at uni) I had some good friends who made me comfortable with me, I also had an opportunity to be more independant, do what I want etc (living away from home) and this helped so much.
I also started going to the gym, caring a bit about how I looked and I'm pretty happy with myself.
While I'm still shy at times, most of the time I turn it off and am very sociable, but I still have problems going up to girls and talking, asking out etc but I'll work on that this year.

Just feel good about yourself, you have a lot to offer, find it express it, even get a bit arrogant (just don't really show it but feel it), don't act all try-hard but you'll be fine. Just figure it out and make sure you're always trying to tackle it because given time and effort you'll lose it, but if you do nothing, you might end up like some of the guys talked about.

Keen
yeah good post............im like at the same stage as u

except i havnt started uni yet :p
 

LazyBoy

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christian_j said:
You can't fail if you don't try. :)
that really depends what you define as failure. to me, not trying is failing. If i try ive already won because im gaining confidence.
 

bamiyan

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Are you too shy to approach a girl / guy?

I had the same problem 2001 and it spilled over into 2002. It still screwing with my head (but have I asked girls out since). Just get over it.
 

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