yeh but i dont miss my mates so why would i want to see them wen i could be out with my bf? we dont bone all the time...alot of the time we just go to the movies or i go with him to uni or to the library or something...thats the thing, he helped me heaps with my hsc, and assignments throughout the year but my folks think hes 'oh so irresponsible'.
...bah (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter django_
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rhysgm
Member
- Joined
- May 26, 2004
- Messages
- 31
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- Male
- HSC
- 2004
no no no u misunderstood. your parents willt hink you are boning, even if you are not. if you see him that often they will think that. its just the way parents are. my best advise would be maybe see him every few days instead? then they will lighten up. or maybe do some work around the house for them as a means of 'earning' your right to go out.
yeh i know that...theyve even easked me, like wtf yeh right as if im going to tell them anything...they dont know i see him that often, they thought i was at school n studying n shit...lol but yeh..man i do shit around the hosue thats wat pisses me off. like, its as if i have to clean the WHOLE HOUSE in ONE DAY n THEN its considered hosuework by my dads standards...washign up, cleaning my room and shit like that isnt enough. the wanker...
iambored, yeh ur right, the whole trust thing...but if they hadnt been so fuckin conceited in the first place (was that used correctly? lol sound good...) then i wouldnt have had to have wagged school to see him...my bfs 21 n my dad was full like oh hes only going out with u for one thing, especially since hes 21.. like wtf who says that shit to their daughter? yeh mate hes uses u for sex' wtf arsehole.
iambored, yeh ur right, the whole trust thing...but if they hadnt been so fuckin conceited in the first place (was that used correctly? lol sound good...) then i wouldnt have had to have wagged school to see him...my bfs 21 n my dad was full like oh hes only going out with u for one thing, especially since hes 21.. like wtf who says that shit to their daughter? yeh mate hes uses u for sex' wtf arsehole.
Emily.
Pro-VSU
just keep seeing the best of a bad situation
youre being kept apart, but that will just make the time together so much more intense. dont stress, everything will sort itself out sooner or later!
youre being kept apart, but that will just make the time together so much more intense. dont stress, everything will sort itself out sooner or later!
yeh but how sooner or later...i dont want to wait 2mths till i can see him again....n i dont need to play norah jones to him, he says to me all the time if u want to leave let me know ill come pick u up n u can stay at my place...so having somewhere to go is no big deal...i guess im too chicken...would they treat me like a prodigal daugter or kick my ass if i come back home? unpredictable parents are NOT GOOD... bah...
Tell them the truth. You need to prove that you arent just going out to meet him and fuck him. The problem lies in that you are a daughter, and they tend to be more clingy. The fact theyve caught you out on various occasions tends to suggest to the parent, that you might end up down a path that may eventually end in pregnancy or worse. I think thats what theyre trying to enforce onto you.
Emily.
Pro-VSU
u need to have a big think and a big talk
if ur ready to leave home, etc
are his parents alright with u staying there or does he live alone?
and maybe talk it out with ur mum, tell her if they continue to be unreasonable then youre moving out. pack ur nags and everything
that may shock them into respecting you
if they dont, well move out. what have u really got to lose?
if ur ready to leave home, etc
are his parents alright with u staying there or does he live alone?
and maybe talk it out with ur mum, tell her if they continue to be unreasonable then youre moving out. pack ur nags and everything
that may shock them into respecting you
if they dont, well move out. what have u really got to lose?
yeh i know that...my mum said to me 'do u want to go on the pill? u dont want any accidents happening' but i kept telling her im not having sex, and we'd use a condom anyway...this was a coupler months ago now..but like..she knows i know about all this..ive studied pdh for the past six years lol i know everything about pregnancy and sti's etc...if their shallow enough to think thats the only reason why we're going out then it must be because thats wat they did...harsh i know but people who are truly in love know theres more to it than sex...
hes told his parents pretty much everything thats happened, so they have no problem me moving in with them..even though their place is small.twisted_emily said:
ive tried talking to them..their dont listen to me...my mum will be like 'so tell me why did u di wat u did' n i start telling her but then she says oh be quiet i dont want to hear it ???
im happy with my boyfriend, so why cant they just accept it. punishing me now isnt going to change anything. its not like i have exams n shit to worry about so wats their problem...if only theyd just give up lol
but yeh..i have nothing to lose they shit me soo much so id be happier outta this shithole.
It just doesnt suggest much with your actions, as you have said on here.
If he gets caught sneaking into your room, you are caught out being with him when you should have been elsewhere, all that doesnt exactly shout out "We arent just fucking"
I dont think you should announce yourself to your parents, but rather gain it through other things. Show them your responsibility, do things without them needing to ask, getting a job and maintaining one is a good thing.
And most important i think, if you want to show maturity and trustworthiness, play along with what they want. If it is true love, then the guy wont mind, he'll wait till death and beyond for you.
If he gets caught sneaking into your room, you are caught out being with him when you should have been elsewhere, all that doesnt exactly shout out "We arent just fucking"
I dont think you should announce yourself to your parents, but rather gain it through other things. Show them your responsibility, do things without them needing to ask, getting a job and maintaining one is a good thing.
And most important i think, if you want to show maturity and trustworthiness, play along with what they want. If it is true love, then the guy wont mind, he'll wait till death and beyond for you.
hmmmz yeh...the thing is...i feel sorry for my bf...hes 21, all his mates are going out and they ask if i want to come, but i never can...he said to me hes waiting for me to do somethign about it, cuz he cant, its not up to him....i feel horrible because hes waited 10mths to have a proper, open r/ship with me, and not have to sneak around...yet shit keeps on happening. i guess yeh, its my fault for doing the wrong thing, but my parents left me no choice.
Emily.
Pro-VSU
well you need to make the choice
if u really love him then you will go with him
perhaps this hesitance to move out suggests something in the relationship that youre worried about?
anyways im goin to bed now
night
if u really love him then you will go with him
perhaps this hesitance to move out suggests something in the relationship that youre worried about?
anyways im goin to bed now
night
no nothin im worried about...except my parents. they know where he lives, and they'd surely come over and try and make me come home. truthfully..im a chicken. i find it difficult to stand up my parents unless im really angry and theyre yelling so i yell...if they dont yell, i keep my mouth shut (well sometimes).
oh well im goin bed now too...
'night.
oh well im goin bed now too...
'night.
Beckiki_S
I call President!
if youve been studying pdh etc. why when your mum asked you if you wanted to go on the pill did you say no?
Sure, when I went on the pill I was like "im not sleeping with him, I just want to be on it IN CASE i do" which wasnt really the truth at all. But I think you should have said yes.
I went through the same thing with all the sex issues and them not wanting me to do stuff with my boy because of all that stuff and I was pretty much just like "you can stop me from using a fake id to go out in town and drink, because thats illegal.You can stop me from driving at 100 ks an hour, thats illegal. but you cant stop me from having sex because the age of consent is 16 so I'm not doing anything wrong." They were still uncomfortable so I said well im not going to NOT see him, because i have a right to be happy, but i want you to be comfortable so we just need to work out a compromise where we both give a little and get a little.
And then I was like, but most importantly its not about trusting that im not going to do anything wrong, its about trusting my judgement. (Senators country/life thing was good) As in, im going to mess up because im a teenager and we all do, but you have to trust my judgement that im a smart enough girl to know where to draw lines and who to involve myself with and how i can best say safe, healthy and happy.
AND you really should help out with the house if you want them to be more lenient. Like, if they dont see what you do then draw up a spreadsheet with all the things that need doing in the house and tick and date over the week when uve done it and ur dad will see ur committed and its adding up. But my parents always said keeping ur own room tidy is not helping out at all (like if my mum only cleaned HER room... well you know...) so say that you recognise that and you know they do a lot for you and so ur going to help them out so that its a relationship based on reciprocity.
Most importantly, speak to them calmly (throw in a few heartfelt tears but not temperamental tears) and if you try and cant do it without yelling then write them a letter and say "i know you want me to be safe and happy but you have to let me judge what will make me safest and happiest" etc.
Yeah so thats my advice...
Good luck!
Sure, when I went on the pill I was like "im not sleeping with him, I just want to be on it IN CASE i do" which wasnt really the truth at all. But I think you should have said yes.
I went through the same thing with all the sex issues and them not wanting me to do stuff with my boy because of all that stuff and I was pretty much just like "you can stop me from using a fake id to go out in town and drink, because thats illegal.You can stop me from driving at 100 ks an hour, thats illegal. but you cant stop me from having sex because the age of consent is 16 so I'm not doing anything wrong." They were still uncomfortable so I said well im not going to NOT see him, because i have a right to be happy, but i want you to be comfortable so we just need to work out a compromise where we both give a little and get a little.
And then I was like, but most importantly its not about trusting that im not going to do anything wrong, its about trusting my judgement. (Senators country/life thing was good) As in, im going to mess up because im a teenager and we all do, but you have to trust my judgement that im a smart enough girl to know where to draw lines and who to involve myself with and how i can best say safe, healthy and happy.
AND you really should help out with the house if you want them to be more lenient. Like, if they dont see what you do then draw up a spreadsheet with all the things that need doing in the house and tick and date over the week when uve done it and ur dad will see ur committed and its adding up. But my parents always said keeping ur own room tidy is not helping out at all (like if my mum only cleaned HER room... well you know...) so say that you recognise that and you know they do a lot for you and so ur going to help them out so that its a relationship based on reciprocity.
Most importantly, speak to them calmly (throw in a few heartfelt tears but not temperamental tears) and if you try and cant do it without yelling then write them a letter and say "i know you want me to be safe and happy but you have to let me judge what will make me safest and happiest" etc.
Yeah so thats my advice...
Good luck!
Beckiki_S
I call President!
Yeah that is so shit.jumb said:
Its the biggest copout ever.
I always just say "well obviously you dont trust me if you think im going to be easily led astray"